Encounter
by FullWolfMoonGirl
Summary: While traveling with the Tenth Doctor, Rose encounters the Eleventh. Will he let this change the course of events or leave them to fall apart all over again?
1. The First Encounter

**_Just a little something for the Rose fans out there.  
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***In Case of Confusion:_ This takes place after New Earth and before Tooth and Claw for Rose and it is just before A Good Man Goes to War for the Eleventh Doctor. Rose is traveling with the Tenth Doctor at the start of this one, and the Eleventh Doctor is traveling with Rory, trying to build his army up to go save Amy and baby Melody._**

**_Please Read and Review  
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><p>"The next time we stop for chips, you're paying." Rose gave him a playful glare. "That's all I'm saying."<p>

"Oh, come on. You can't tell me you didn't enjoy the look on his face while we were running away. 'Cause I saw you look back!" The Doctor grinned cheekily and gave her hand a light squeeze.

"If you'd just told me when he said it would cost me a fiver, that he meant he literally wanted five of my fingers..."

"You would have gladly _handed _them over to him?" The Doctor wiggled his free hand at her, still grinning away madly.

Rose rolled her eyes. "You're so bad!" She couldn't help laughing though. He was right. The look on that alien vendor's face when the Doctor came up just in time to save her by grabbing her hand and reinforcing his 'run!' rule, was priceless. The vendor hadn't been expecting them to skip out on the bill. He had the best tasting chips in all of that particular Galaxy and was used to people paying highly for them. He was also used to creatures who could just grow extra parts. Kind of like the Doctor did during his Regeneration cycle.

The Doctor and Rose were now walking down a London street on Earth in the 21st Century. She had planned to stop in and check on her mum, but she got a bit sidetracked after the Doctor suggested their next trip be into the past and that she choose which Century or decade they landed in.

She was trying to decide between the early days of the Roman Empire which sounded kind of cool, or the 1970s. The Doctor kept insisting that the '70s would be more fun, but she wasn't so sure.

The Doctor let go of her hand and turned around in front of her, walking backwards with his hands in his coat pockets as he faced her. "So, Rose, which will it be? Rome or Sheffield, 1970s?" There was no wiping that grin off his face and it was highly contagious.

"I don't know. Seeing all those Roman legions might be-"

"Hold that thought! I've got a CD I wanna find in the TARDIS. You go pop in and say hi to your mum if you like. Then off we go." He was off and running then.

Rose shook her head while she stopped to watch him trot off. He was so happy and she loved to see him like this. She felt comfortable now with this version of the Doctor. He was her Doctor and she felt good with him even though he had changed his face. He wouldn't go and do that again any time soon.

Still smiling, she turned to head home just to give her mum a quick hug, drop off some laundry, and grab a few clean clothes. As she turned, someone ran right into her. "Ow!" She stumbled back a step, but managed to catch herself. She looked up.

"Oh!" Said the man who ran into her. He stepped back, holding his arms up as if he were trying to shield her from a fall. "Uh, sorry about that. I'm in a bit of a hurry."

Rory glanced around nervously, than back at the blonde girl he'd nearly knocked off her feet.

"That's alright, I was-" Rose stopped short. She looked the man up and down, her mouth hanging open. He was dressed like a Roman! A proper Roman! In dark reds with a sword and...was that a cape? Yes, it was! A real and proper cape!

"Are you on your way to a costume party or something?" Rose tried hard to remember if they'd stopped on a holiday, but try as she might, she was pretty positive today was nothing special.

Rory glanced down at himself, a faint blush appearing across his cheeks. "Or something, actually." There was no use in telling this stranger that a time and space traveling alien had sent him to this particular day and time to leave a note for another of his former adversaries who owed him a favor in order for them to go back to the future and rescue his wife and newborn child from unknown enemies. So he just remained quiet on that.

This earned him another odd look from Rose. "Lose a bet then?" She slowly smiled again, trying to guess why on Earth this man was dressed up like an ancient Roman soldier.

_The Doctor would love to see this!_ She tried to picture the Doctor's face if he caught sight of this guy. Rose would have laughed out loud if she didn't think it would be too rude.

"Not really, no. Just...A friend. He wanted me to wear this...You know...So I..." Rory shrugged uncomfortably. Why did the Doctor always have to make him look as ridiculous as possible?_ It'll be so cool! _He'd begged him. _You'll look more threatening! _

Yeah, sure. More threatening to who?

An understanding look crossed Rose's face. _Oh, so he's gay! _"Oh! Yeah, you don't want to keep him waiting. From the looks of it, he's probably pretty eager for you to get there so he can get you out of that...Outfit." She suppressed a giggle.

Rory turned a brighter red. "What? No, I-"

"It's okay! I've got friends who are-It really is okay! Seriously. I've got this friend, Jack, and he's-"

"RoryPond!" The Eleventh Doctor's voice boomed out from behind Rose, startling her. She didn't have time to turn to face him as he stepped up beside her, looking at Rory expectantly. He didn't seem to notice her.

Rory quietly sighed at the way the Doctor often called him Rory Pond and ran it together like it was one word or one name.

"I've collected several more allies while you were gone, and I'm ready for you now. You ready to face them?" He was talking about the Cybermen.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just on my way-" Rory informed him as Rose turned her attention to the man standing beside her.

"But you're taking too long, Rory, we've got to do this _now_!" He was a gangly looking fellow wearing a bow tie. This must have been the 'friend' the guy who ran into her, Rory, had mentioned. His outfit must also be some sort of costume, too. Why else would a young guy wear that stuffy outfit and that silly bow tie?

"Allies? Don't you two naughty boys get up to some kinky dress up. With friends." She smirked, unable to keep from teasing them playfully. Being around the Doctor often put her in a playful and fun mood, even with strangers about. And strangers didn't get much stranger than this pair!

The Doctor recognized the sound of her voice before he turned to stare at her. His eyes popped open wide as he stared at Rose with what could only be described as shock and horror.

Rory slowly followed his gaze. She looked pretty ordinary to him, but if the Doctor's face was anything to go by, she may have been a terrible enemy, someone to fear. He tensed up, ready for anything.

The Doctor reminded himself to keep breathing. _Rose._ She was so close he could reach out and touch her if he wanted. He curled his fingers into his hands and tightened them into fists to prevent himself from doing just that.

He realized he'd recognized her voice and even her gentle scent already, but what with trying to rescue one of his best friends, he hadn't registered these familiar things right away.

He saw her face change from amused to scared at the look he was giving her._ A scared Rose?_ _No!_ Absolutely not. He couldn't have a scared Rose. It was so painful to lay eyes on her again as it was that he was certain the guilt alone would cause both of his hearts to stop working any second now.

Just as quickly as the horror and shock on his face appeared, it vanished, replaced with a softer, tragic look that scared Rory even more than the last one. He was about to ask him if he was okay, when the Doctor spoke up again.

"Hello." He was nearly whispering in such a tender tone that it caused Rory's eyebrows to raise. "Nothing wrong with a bit of dress up now and again, is there. He has to convince my enemies that he means business. Now," He addressed Rory, but didn't take his eyes off of Rose. "You look like you're ready to face a million Roman Legions. Let's go."

Rose scowled. She didn't know either of these men, but the bow tie wearing one was looking at her with such intensity that she couldn't help but feel her heart start to beat a little faster. She wasn't able to read his expression, but she thought he looked devastated. Why he might be suddenly devastated at the mere sight of her, was beyond her understanding. But there it was, laid out for her to see in his soulful eyes and rueful smile.

"But Doc-" Rory began, only to be interrupted once more by the Doctor.

"Rory!" The Doctor admonished, tearing his eyes from Rose with a concerted effort. "We're in a bit of a hurry here, if you remember. Your wife." He stepped over and pushed Rory by the shoulders. "You're lovely wife who gets quite cross when she's left on her own." The Doctor thought about the four psychiatrists and the scars Amy probably left on them when she bit them. All because he'd done just that, left her on her own a bit too long.

He tried to remain focused on Amy, but how could he continue like this with Rose standing so close to him he could reach out and hug her? He tried hard not to look at her again.

"Right." Rory agreed with a nod. He allowed himself to be pushed and gave Rose an apologetic nod.

"Wait a minute." The Doctor froze at those words uttered by Rose. He stared down at Rory's shoulder. Rose pointed at each of them, crossing her arms and then back. "So, you two aren't a couple?"

"A couple?" The Doctor laughed nervously, but Rory, glancing over his shoulder at him, could still see deep sadness in his face in spite of his laughter. "Us? No, he's got a wife, and we've got a mission."

Rose was surprised that these two weren't a couple. The Roman one, Rory, sure seemed gay to her. But now that she knew the truth, that didn't explain away the Roman outfit. Neither did it give reason to the inexplicable way the other man was reacting toward her.

"But if you two aren't a couple, how comes you made him dress up like this?" She asked, pointing at Rory as she eyed the Doctor.

He glanced back at her and he was trapped. Once more he was swept away with ample amounts of love and guilt. He couldn't take much more of this. If he stayed for three more seconds, he was positive he wouldn't be able to stop himself from hugging her. He may not have been quite as expressive with his emotions as his past incarnation was, but seeing her again was bringing up all sorts of feelings that were overwhelming his senses.

He kept looking at her with an intense look, which unnerved her. Moreover, he looked so sad that it made her want to cry. But she couldn't figure out why that would be. She'd never met the man before.

The Doctor apparently felt Rory was going too slowly. He grabbed Rory's arm and started dragging him away before he could catch his footing. "Don't mind us, we've got a battle to fight is all! You should be on your way Rose, you've got your own battles to fight. Haven't we all?" He rambled as he pulled Rory as quickly as possible away from her, leaving Rose to stare after them.

He failed to notice his mistake until after the fact.

She frowned. "How did he know my name..." She wondered aloud as the two disappeared around a corner. She looked over her shoulder where the TARDIS and Doctor would be waiting for her in the park.

Being around the Doctor meant that every day encounters were often far more than that. She couldn't just ignore this. Two strange men in strange clothing, one looking at her as if she'd broken his heart, and he knew her name! She had to get to the bottom of this.

With one last look back, she turned and ran after the two men.


	2. A Revelation

**Thank you very much for the reviews! I hadn't even planned on a Rose story, much less a Rose meets Eleven story, but I'm glad I decided to go with my instincts and upload and keep writing this one.  
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**Reviews are loved as always!**

**To ProfessorSong - I think it would be fun to play with the awkward dynamic it might create if River were to make an appearance. The idea makes me laugh and I adore River, but I'm hesitant about bringing her into this particular story as I also don't want to detract too much from Rose. **

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><p>"Doctor, who was that girl?" Rory staggered forward with the force of the Doctor's aggressive yanking on him. "Doctor-"<p>

"I told you, we are in a hurry. Now come on. Let's find the TARDIS. I parked her around here somewhere. I shouldn't have cloaked her." He was practically carrying Rory until he got his footing finally and pulled away.

Rose Tyler saw the two men as she skidded to a stop around the corner. On instinct, she ducked behind a tree. But neither of them were even facing her direction. She quickly started trailing after them. She almost had to run to keep up, but that didn't bother her too much. She was very used to running, thanks to the Doctor!

The pair of them were rushing and having a confusing conversation as they did so. She could easily hear what they were saying.

Rory glanced at the Doctor. "Are you avoiding the question?"

The Doctor kept staring straight ahead. "Which question is that, Rory?"

"About the girl?"

"What girl?"

_Me._ Thought Rose.

"The blonde girl. The one you called Rose."

"Which question?"

"Who is she?"

"Oh, that question. That is a very interesting question, Rory, and the answer. Is. Yes."

The bow tie wearing man started to turn so Rose quickly ducked behind another tree. The Doctor ran smack into the side of the invisible TARDIS and fell over onto the ground. As soon as she heard him hit the ground, she peeked out around the tree. She couldn't see what had made him fall. Nothing seemed to be near him enough for him to have bumped into it.

"But..." Rory frowned down at him. "It wasn't a yes or no question."

"What wasn't?"

"The question about the girl."

Making a sound of disgust, the Doctor picked himself off and started to straighten his jacket and bow tie. "_Rory_! You have to be specific. I did answer one of your questions correctly, you're just not paying attention!"

"Okay," Rory shrugged. "So clearly we're avoiding the question then."

"Which question?"

Rory sighed. There was no finding reason with the Doctor! None whatsoever!

Rose tip toed over to a larger tree and slid behind it, peering around the side while watching the Roman and the weird man.

Rory knew when he was defeated. The Doctor was very obviously avoiding answering anything about the blonde girl they'd run into. But he knew her. He must have. Why else had he acted so crushed upon seeing her? Also, he knew her name.

But, Rory wasn't one to push on such a subject. He chose instead to focus on another matter. The most important one to him.

"Do you think they're hurting her?" He asked as the Doctor finally stopped fussing with his clothing.

"What?" The Doctor looked up at him suddenly, panic flashing across his face. "Hurting her? But she's...Why would they be hurting her? _Who_ would hurt her?" He challenged sharply. "Are you saying Rose isn't safe?"

Rose let out a quiet gasp. This man was so intense! What was his interest in her and her safety? _You'd think I was his lover or something with how he's acting. _

Rory gawked at the Doctor. How could he even be thinking about this blonde girl named Rose, who seemed like a perfectly nice lady, but was also perfectly safe from what Rory could tell? Particularly when Amy was in the clutches of some very unscrupulous people who were intent on stealing away their baby?

The Doctor peered at him a long moment. "Oh, sorry. You were talking about Amy. Of course you were. Let's go collect her and your baby, shall we?"

Rose had heard enough. Worried they might take off before she had a chance to interrogate them, she knew she had to do something. She stepped out from her hiding place as the Doctor turned back to face where the invisible TARDIS was.

Rory spotted Rose. "Uh, Doc-"

"Not now, Rory, I'm busy trying to find the door." He was moving his hands around in a strange motion in the air, Rose noticed.

"But-"

"Do you want to rescue your family or not? We have a couple more stops to make before we can do that." He was getting irritated.

"Excuse me." Rose's light voice froze every muscle in the Doctor's body. He didn't turn, didn't move, didn't even breathe.

Rory nodded to Rose. "Hi. Can we help you?" He asked, a bit anxious to go find his wife and child. He hadn't even laid eyes on his baby yet.

"Yeah, I was wondering if your friend here could tell me how he knows me?" She glanced from Rory to the Doctor, her gaze full of curious wonder.

The Doctor allowed himself to breathe. He felt the feeling coming back to his legs. He paused before spinning around to face her with an exaggeratedly happy smile.

"Oh, I met you a long time ago." He glanced up toward the sky as if he were searching for something far, far away. "A lifetime ago..." He murmured. He quickly dropped his eyes back to her face. "But never mind about that. You're safe and happy here, we're safe and happy where...We're going, and all is well so long as we keep moving. In opposite directions."

Neither his current companion nor his past one was buying his act. Rory wouldn't say anything about it, but he did eye the Doctor peculiarly.

Rose kept staring at him, mesmerized by the way he not only looked so deeply into her eyes, but how he held the look, as though he couldn't soak up enough of her. Nobody had ever looked at her this acutely for this extensive amount of time. It was hard not to be drawn in. "Have we met? What's your name?" She was positive she would have remembered this man!

"He's the D-" Rory began and was surprised to find himself on the end of a brutal shove by the Doctor. He flew back and bounced off the invisible TARDIS before landing in some bushes nearby. "Do I even want to ask?" His muffled voice groaned from the bushes.

The Doctor didn't answer him and turned back to Rose. "Sorry about that. He's just...Got something he lost. Over there. In the uh...We really have to be on our way now. Come along, RoryPond!"

Rory scrambled out of the bushes. He brushed himself off and decided it best not to say anything at all just in case it upset the Doctor to the point he shoved him into something much more painful.

"But he just bounced off of, well...sort of nothing...It's like he ran into thin air and it knocked him over there." Rose was suspicious now. "Do you always treat your friends like that? Shoving them and bossing them around?"

The Doctor started to get nervous. She was too smart not to figure this out if he couldn't get her to leave very quickly.

She started to move around the Doctor to investigate what Rory had run into, but the Doctor firmly grabbed her wrist.

He hadn't meant to touch her.

The moment he felt the warmth of her skin under his fingers, he didn't want to let go. Why did old feelings have to be so impossibly _not_ old at the very same time?

He flinched when she tugged hard to free her wrist and glared at him. "Keep your hands to yourself, Mister!"

He nodded sheepishly, looking away miserably.

He didn't have it in him to physically restrain her unless her life was in jeopardy. Besides which, she would have figured out something was amiss if they walked into the invisible TARDIS with her standing right there watching.

It was inconceivably difficult to need to chase her off at the same time that he wanted to pull her into the biggest of hugs and tell her how very much he missed her.

She hadn't yet been on all of the adventures she was meant to have with him. In this time and place, they were changing her history already and he couldn't bear to think on the effects that would have.

How could he possibly stop her from finding out the truth?

"What's this? It's like some sort of..." The Doctor turned and watched helplessly as she ran her hands over the side of his invisible TARDIS. "Force field or...Something invisible...I bet it's like a rift, like something to another dimension!" She said, nodding to herself and the Doctor couldn't help but be proud.

The TARDIS actually was very nearly that and there was Rose, _his_ Rose, going on trying to figure things out on her own, and doing a really good job of it! "What are you smiling at?" She caught his eye.

"You."

"What about me? Wanna tell me what's going on?"

"And if I don't?" His smile widened as he stepped closer to her in a seductive manner.

"Then you'll have to answer to me, and I'm a lot scarier than I look."

"Are you?"

"You want to try me?" She flirted back, unsure why she was doing just that. She found herself smirking at him. He was a total stranger and he was probably very dangerous by the way he behaved, yet she found herself unwilling to back away.

"I would-" He shook his head, as if clearing it. He put up a hand. "No. No, no, this isn't..." He let out a frustrated breath of air and stomped away from her and the TARDIS. He faced the city streets. He couldn't do this. She wasn't his. Not now or anymore. And he wasn't hers either.

Rose watched him, feeling rejected even though she still had no idea who it was that was rejecting her or why. What had happened? Things went from flirty fun, to this uncomfortable and confusing state. What was going on?

"Rose Tyler." He spoke her name so softly she strained to hear it, but then his voice picked up volume and something worse. "You have to go. _Leave_!" She flinched at his sudden cold tone. "You have to leave now. You're a time traveler and you're playing with time right now. Go back before you destroy all of existence with your...Your Nancy Drew-ness."

"My what-ness? Wait a minute...Are you two telling me you travel in time? You met me in the future or something? How? You don't have one of those things, um, a vortex device...?" She looked from the Doctor to Rory, checking out their wrists. Rory just shrugged, still refusing to say anything more just then.

The Doctor finally turned around. He wasn't smiling anymore. He looked...Tired.

"Rose." She turned her full attention to him. At least he wasn't sounding quite so cold. "You need to go now. It isn't safe, this...This whole thing isn't safe. Please, for your own good? Trust me."

She opened her mouth to speak, but just then a big blue man's head appeared out of thin air! Right around the area of that force field thing!

"Doctor, the Sontaran and the Silurian are about to start their own war in here." Dorium was annoyed. He owed the Doctor, this much was true, but to be forced into the TARDIS with a bunch of these uncivilized beings was disgraceful at best!

"Doctor?" Rose questioned, turning around in circles in search of the Doctor._ Her _Doctor. "Where? He isn't here, he's back at the TARDIS. And where did you come from? How come I only see part of you? Or is this somehow all of you, and you're like a half-person or something?"

The blue man laughed. "I'm more like three people in one! The Doctor is here and this _is_ the TARDIS." He patted the door he was holding slightly ajar. "And big as it is on the inside, it's getting crowded in here!"

Rory thought the Doctor might very well try to strangle Dorium just then.

"But..." Rose stepped over as if she were in a dream. She reached out and touched the invisible TARDIS door. It felt like the TARDIS. It was solid and wooden. But she couldn't see it. "Why can't I see it? Where did the Doctor go? Why would he move the TARDIS? And who are you lot then? He didn't tell me he was giving anybody else a lift..."

She gave each of them a mistrustful look. Even the one she'd flirted with a bit. She wasn't sure why she'd done that. There was just something about him, she supposed. "Who are you lot and what did you do to the Doctor?"

She sounded scared, but ready to fight. The Doctor knew that look only too well. Brave Rose Tyler, ready to defy the entire Universe for her Doctor.

"Rose, it's okay." He spoke up calmly, but emotion was driving his tone. No matter how hard he tried, some of it managed to escape him around her.

She didn't look convinced.

He didn't have much choice. Things had gotten out of control. It was too late to turn back now.

"Really, I promise, it's going to be okay." He walked over to stand in front of her, staring her down with those scrutinizing eyes of his. She didn't try _not_ to stare back.

"You've got to trust me." He really didn't want to do this. Yet, part of him _really_, really did. He knew it was wrong to want her to know who he was. But he consoled himself with the knowledge that she didn't leave him much choice.

There was shouting behind Dorium inside the TARDIS and he rolled his eyes, cursed in some alien language, and then went back inside, closing the door behind him.

As he looked from the Doctor to Rose, Rory wished he could go with him. In fact, he decided it might be a good time to slip away. "I'll just go...See what they're doing. Make sure they're not tearing the TARIDS apart." He said quietly before hurrying inside. He would rather deal with a war inside there, then the tension he felt between the Doctor and that Rose girl.

"Why should I trust you, I don't even know you!" She shot back, unable to pull her eyes away from his. They'd done something to the TARDIS. She had to find the Doctor. He would know what was going on and what to do. But what if they did something to him? She had to find him and she had a very good feeling that this strange man knew exactly where her Doctor was.

"Where is the Doctor? _Where is he_?" Rose was becoming desperate. These people did something to the Doctor! _How dare they_! If they didn't bring him back right now, they'd be sorry they ever messed with him! Nobody messed with her Doctor!

His smile was back. It put her off guard.

"Rose...I'm the Doctor."


	3. The Painful Truths

**Wow, you guys really make my day with your reviews! Thank you so, _so_ much! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your reviews!**

**Someone asked about other companions. I've never written Jack before and think he'd be amusing, but I hadn't any particular plans to bring any other companions in as this is mainly a Rose and Doctor story. I only have Rory in because he is currently traveling with the Doctor and adds an extra dynamic to things. **

**Again, thank you for the reviews! Please review. :)**

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><p>Rose was staring at him with growing dread. Not because she believed him. That was hardly the case. He couldn't possibly be the Doctor. The Doctor was never this strange. Even Mickey was more together than this guy. She was dreading what these people had done to the real Doctor. For them to hijack his TARDIS, they must have really done something terrible to him.<p>

Rose leaned toward him, looking very much like she was ready to tackle him should he suddenly sprout horns and turn into an evil Doctor kidnapper of any kind. "No, you're not him." She stated simply. The eyes trailing over him were filled with a new kind of uncertainty. She poked him in the chest._ Hard_. He didn't back off. "You tell me what you did to him and you tell me _right now_!"

His smile only brightened. _That's my Rose.  
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"How's your mum?" He didn't appear the smallest bit concerned about her lack of belief in him. "You really shouldn't go around poking people, you know, it might provoke them."

There it was. A threat. Rose thought she heard it in his voice. She didn't like that he knew about her mother. This guy was asking for it.

The Doctor was positive Rose was actually going to attack him very soon if he didn't give her some answers. Her hand moved up as though to slap him. He didn't move. "Your mum beat you to that, too, if you remember. She wasn't too happy with me taking you off unseen for a year. Then again, not very much makes her too happy, does it?"

"You don't know my mum..." She didn't sound so confident. "You leave my mum out of this! I'm finding the Doctor with or without your help, and if you did anything to him..." She was glaring at him now.

He enjoyed being close to her again. It didn't matter that she was ready to pummel him. He was happy for the opportunity! "You'll be first in line to atomize me. Got it." He nodded. There was no shaking his smirk or confidence.

"Rose, the Doctor is okay, because I'm him. I _am_ the Doctor. Look here." He tugged his sonic screwdriver from his pocket and held it up for her to see. "You see? My sonic."

Rose frowned. "But it's green and big and that can't be a sonic!"

"But it is." He replied patiently, watching her.

Rose still didn't believe him. He couldn't be the Doctor. It would have to mean that the Doctor died again and she couldn't accept that. "You're lying."

"I'm not. I'm telling the exact truth. Lying would be calling myself someone other than who I am."

"If you're not lying, then you're mad! You have to be, 'cause you're not him." She decided. "Tell me something only the Doctor would know." She challenged, still shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

He leaned even closer, his lips nearly touching her ear. Rose tensed. She was ready to pull away should he try anything.

"You of all people know I'm mad, Rose Tyler. You ran off with a mad man." His murmured voice was alluring. She shivered. "A mad man in a blue box who takes you to mad places like the Moons of Ipsus Seven, the death of the Earth, New New York, all over time and space you fly together. And the entire time, you've had a secret, haven't you." It wasn't a question.

Rose felt her breath coming in and out shakily at his words. "You still have it. You've a secret you think no one notices. You've a secret so enormous..." His warm breath trickled across her skin. A tremor ran through her entire body.

He continued on. "_So_ big, that you think you can hide it from everyone in plain sight. You can hide it from others, but I've always known it. I've always seen it. I can see you, Rose Tyler, and I know your secret."

She held her breath. Was he pausing just to torture her? It felt like it! She didn't even realize she wasn't breathing, although he did. He kept careful watch over her breaths. He would become alarmed if she didn't breathe again soon, but he knew the moment had taken it away from her.

He whispered the next words with such an effusive tone, it made little goosebumps break out across her arms.

"_You're in love_."

Rose moved so fast to back away from him that she stumbled and started to tumble backwards. He dashed forward and grabbed her around the waist, wrapping an arm around her to catch her before she could hit the ground. She found herself in his arms, staring up into his searching eyes.

"But..." Breathless, she tried to wrap her head around what was going on here. Her hands clutched at his sleeves. At least, he noted, she was breathing again.

"You-You can't have! You only left to get a CD! You can't have died again!"

It was highly emotional for her. He knew. He really _knew_! Not only that, but he'd died again. What had happened to him? Why had she left him alone! She could have prevented it. It was so hard for her to get used to the version of him she'd finally gotten comfortable with. And now she had to do it all over again. It was a lot to take in.

She slowly straightened herself up and he quickly let go of her. She was shaking.

"Why not? I do it all the time." His tone was back to bubbling over with energetic enthusiasm. "But you're right, I didn't. Not from your perspective. Not yet anyway. But I will. Only not until after the uh, events leading up to other...Events." He was trying not to linger on thoughts that would lead him down a spiraling out of control path.

Attempt as he might to control things by keeping them light, he knew he was going to have to experience the emotional turmoil that always came when running into a former companion. With Rose things tended to be all the more so intense.

He kept on, holding onto the slim hope that Rose would simply go back to the version of him she was traveling with, and leave this alone. "But don't worry, that isn't for a while yet. You've got a lot to do before then. Now-"

He halted when he saw the tears.

She tried to wipe her face before a single tear dared to defy her by falling, but they refused to listen to her. Down they trickled. The Doctor had died. He'd died and she hadn't been there for him. Every time he regenerated, it was a kind of death to Rose too. She had to mourn who he was before she could celebrate who he became.

The Doctor felt the heaviness in his chest. His normally fluent voice caught in his throat. He wanted...No, he_ needed _to make things okay for her. "Rose..."

She shook her head, covering her face with a hand. "How did it happen?"

Her voice was laced with guilt that dug into the hearts of the Doctor. Any hints of a smile had vanished from his face. He looked troubled. "How did what happen?" He addressed with with a softer, gentler tone than he usually did with other people. This was Rose, not other people.

"How..." She cleared her throat as he produced a clean, dry cloth and held it out to her. "Thanks." She wiped at her face. "How did you die?" She asked, mentally kicking herself. Why hadn't she just gone back to the TARDIS with him instead of letting this happen? They were supposed to be leaving for Rome or the 1970s, and she didn't even know this man, the man he'd become!

"Oh that!" He sounded as if he hadn't even given that a thought. He really hadn't. He just hadn't thought that Rose would be upset about that, but now that he realized what was upsetting her, he understood. She didn't know. "Rose, I'm not your Doctor. Well I _am_ your Doctor, but him in the future. At a different point in time. You still have me, or him, you know." He encouraged, reaching out almost timidly to gently pat her shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" She looked up at him, the tears not stopping.

"You've run into me again. Remember crossing time lines and the damages that can do? I'm a future version of the Doctor you know. He hasn't died yet, don't worry. I did say this was dangerous. I did try to warn you. But if you leave now and go hurry back to him, everything will be okay." He advised.

Rose didn't know how to put what she was feeling into words. He knew how she felt, and he had died! She wasn't sure what he thought he would accomplish by telling her he was from the future, and not the present, in her time line. While it did ease her guilt to know he hadn't yet died on her watch, it didn't make it any less painful to know he died. Even if it weren't for years and years.

"You think that makes it alright?" She demanded, her eyes drying long enough to look angrily at him.

He blinked, a bit thrown at the reaction. "But, I'm okay." He held his arms out and spun around for her. "See? I'm perfectly fine. And the me that's with you is, too."

"But you _died_! That's why you're here! You're him, but you're him because he died!" She accused, as though he had betrayed her in some way.

The Doctor somberly folded his hands together and gazed at her thoughtfully. "It wasn't your fault." He quietly told her after a moment.

It was as if he truly could read her thoughts. How had he known she was feeling responsible? She glanced away. "But what happened to you?" She turned her eyes back to his, looking him over from head to foot. "You look so..."

"Cool?" He offered, tapping his bow tie. It was often the first thing people noticed about him. Right before or after they called him mad or weird. She slowly walked around him. He turned, watching her.

"You're wearing boots."

He glanced down at his feet. "Yes, I am. They're excellent for running, jumping and hopping. But, not so good for acid, as it turns out." He flicked his bow tie. He couldn't help the fact that he was proud of it.

"Your hair." Rose looked up at it. She reached out a wavering hand. Her hand hovered just in front of his mass of hair. He didn't move, merely standing there allowing her to take everything in. She moved her hand forward and through his thick hair. It was soft and messy. "It's all over the place." She laughed a little. "I like it though."

The Doctor smiled, and made a great show of straightening his bow tie. Why wouldn't she notice it?

Convinced this was indeed the Doctor, Rose suddenly threw her arms around him. Only her Doctor would be this mad, after all! The Doctor wound his arms around her and hugged her back stiffly. She noticed it straight away. He was more awkward than affectionate, unlike the Doctor she knew. Yet he had a seductive way about him that was unlike the Doctor she knew also. The Doctor she knew would have hugged her with gusto! But this man patted her back in the sort of manner she expected of a distant relative who hadn't seen her since she was a toddler.

Still, he was the Doctor! Her Doctor! She held him a bit longer than he probably liked, she thought. Though she wasn't sure. She finally let go and stood back. They were both smiling.

"All better now?" He asked and she nodded. He was relieved. He hadn't expected Rose Tyler to show up in his life again, but he couldn't stand the thought of her doing so only to end up hurting her more.

"But you didn't answer my question." She pointed out.

"What question?"

She narrowed her eyes. There was no way she'd let him get away with running verbal circles around her the way he'd done to that Rory bloke. "I asked you what happened to you? How did you die? Why couldn't I have stopped it?"

"Rose-"

"Don't tell me you _can't _tell me because it will screw up the time lines or something because you know I'll find out when it happens anyway and you've already messed with things by being here and meeting me now in your past." She pointed out. She wanted to stop his death. He knew it. She knew it. It couldn't happen.

"Rose, I'm okay how I am. I died a noble death." He thought about Wilfred Mott and smiled humbly. "You can't change that and I wouldn't want you to. You won't ask me to let you do that." He informed her as though it were fact and not just his opinion. He knew her too well.

She brushed a hand through her hair and considered that. "But where was I when it happened?"

"I can't tell you that and you know that, Rose."

"Well, where am I now? The future me, I mean. The one that's traveling with you."

He flinched and pulled out his sonic screwdriver again, fidgeting with it. "You're right here and you're about to leave and go back to me, the old, or rather, younger me, and go off on more adventures. You should go. He's probably getting worried."

Rose's eyes were locked onto him. He was well aware that she was studying him for any signs of what the future held. "Doctor, where am I?" She sounded calm. At least the tears were well dried up now, the cloth tucked in a back pocket and her stance fairly relaxed. But her questions were loaded.

"No one should know too much about their future, Rose."

"But I'm here." It was a question. She glanced toward the invisible TARDIS. "Am I in there?"

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. The weight he felt in his hearts was far heavier. He twisted the top of the sonic and continued to stare at it. He wanted to ask her to stay with him. To come along and help him rescue Amy. He wanted to take her hand and command her to run as he'd always done. He wanted to take this more innocent Rose that was yet untainted by the cruelties that would soon befall her, and save her from them. To run off with her and take her on new adventures through time and space and never look back.

He wanted this so very much that he feared even looking at her. Looking at her might weaken him all the more and he might not be able to do what he needed to do here.

"You didn't say anything about the bow tie." He was avoiding her obvious question, and quite obviously, too.

Rose scowled. "It's not better than the brown overcoat." She was referring to his former incarnation's long overcoat he frequently wore. He couldn't expect her to prefer one version over another of him, especially the one she was used to, over this one.

He frowned. "Well, I suppose the overcoat was nice too. But not this _cool_!" She didn't say anything to that. He couldn't deter her with distractions the way he could with Amy and Rory.

Things were getting awkward.

"Are you going to tell me where I am?"

"I can't do that, and you've got to go." He turned abruptly still not looking at her, which was highly unusual for the Doctor, especially this incarnation.

"I'm not leaving til you tell me the truth." Rose felt it. She felt it in what he wasn't saying. "Where am I?"

"Go." He was speaking coolly again. _This new him sure is bossy_, thought Rose.

"But you-"

"Goodbye, Rose. You've got places to be, things to do. I've got places to be. A friend to help. And I may or may not have an entire fleet of Cybermen to destroy." He waved a hand at her as he pulled open the TARDIS door.

It was killing him. He wanted to turn back and drag her along with him. Turning away from everything he'd once known and loved when it was right here, vulnerable and ready for him, was perhaps one of the most difficult things the Doctor ever had to do. But he did it.

"Go back to your Doctor. Because I'm not him. Not anymore." He disappeared into the TARDIS and threw the door shut behind him as he stomped over to the console.

Rose was hurting. The Doctor wouldn't turn his back on her. Would he? Even if he had changed, he was still the Doctor, wasn't he? It hurt. It felt as if someone were standing on her chest and stomach. She knew the Doctor she knew was still waiting for her in the park, but her mind was on the Doctor that was right in front of her.

She needed to know.

She charged forward and threw her foot out, blocking the door from completely closing. Not looking back, she pushed herself fully through and shut the door behind her.


	4. Game Changing

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><p>Rose had been intent on finding out where she was with this future Doctor, but what she saw of the interior of the TARDIS, stopped her short. She paused just inside the door, taking in her surroundings with a mixture of bewilderment and upset crossing her features.<p>

The TARDIS she thought she knew so well was completely different! The colors now brighter with tones of gold, yellow and red mingling together in an antiquated and simple fashion.

In spite of the implications of the TARDIS being crowded, only the Doctor was currently in the console room. He was alone and staring down hard at the console. The way he stared at it, Rose was positive he knew she was there. He was poking at buttons, but he had to know.

She slowly walked toward him.

"You shouldn't have come." He spoke up, stopping her once more in her tracks. There was that tone again. That cold, cool, crisp tone that made her wonder how much he really had changed. It stung.

"Yeah, well, you shouldn't have told me not to." Rose now stood beside him, facing him as she confronted him. He still wouldn't look at her. "You can't just drop this on me and expect it or me to go away." She pointed out.

"Everything is changing. And you need to leave now." He informed her, staring so hard at the buttons in front of him that it almost hurt his head. Anything to not look at her. Anything to not be drawn in by Rose. If he allowed it, everything would change. He knew he couldn't change her future. If he did that, it would also change his and he didn't much mind that, except that changing his future would also change the future of those he had helped. What if lives were lost that were not meant to be?

He slid away from her and over to a few switches. He started fiddling with them.

"I'm not leaving." Rose, his sweet, stubborn Rose, stood her ground. He should have known she would do just that. "The TARDIS is different." She observed out loud, still unable to take in how different he and the TARDIS were.

The Doctor's lips pinched together into a frown and he glowered at his console. He ignored her comments about the TARDIS.

"Why? Why stay in here changing the future? Your future, mine, other people's futures, _why_ do that? What will you gain by doing this?" He was clenching his teeth. His reaction came off as angry even though he was actually fearful and fighting himself every step of the way.

Trying not to let the pain of his anger at her hurt too much, she ran a hand over the console, taking her eyes from him at last.

"Doctor, you're the one who taught me that. To learn, to explore, to never back down from a new adventure!" She reminded him, her voice full of disbelief. "Now you're asking me to turn away from the biggest adventure ever? My own future. How can you ask me to do that?"

He stopped what he was doing and just stood there. He could read between the lines enough to know it wasn't really only about her future. She was worried about him and his future as well.

It was as she feared. She could tell.

This version of the Doctor would have probably shoved her out of the TARDIS if what she hoped were true, were actually true. If her future self were here, he would have babbled on about paradoxes and made her leave. But he wasn't doing that. He wasn't mentioning that at all. He didn't seem worried about her running into herself. Rose was smart enough to realize what this meant.

"I'm not here, am I." She could barely manage to get the words out.

He felt her eyes on him. He still hadn't undertaken the difficult task of forcing himself to look at her. Because doing that would make it harder to keep the necessary distance. He couldn't allow his emotions to overcome what had to be done here.

"You're talking to me, so, yes, of course you're here." He was still sounding so very cold. It chilled her to the bone. She folded her arms across her chest and hugged them to her as if she could ward off the sharpness of his voice. It hurt her.

"I mean future me. The me that is traveling with you now, not me from your past."

"Is that what you really want?" The Doctor turned with such a brisk step toward her that Rose backed away. The fact that Rose Tyler, a hero in his mind, took a step away from him when he turned toward her, caused him to do what he'd been so diligently avoiding.

He looked at her.

His eyes focused on her face. She was upset, she was scared and he could see it all laid out in those eyes of hers. She felt betrayed because he was the Doctor, yet not behaving as she expected him to. She didn't understand.

How could he possibly help her to see? That the heartbreak he'd caused in her on that beach at Bad Wolf Bay sank him to newer, lower lows? That it struck into the very core of him and he hated himself for it? That perhaps the reason he wasn't as warm as the Doctor she remembered, was because he had lost her.

Others had effected him as well. Other things had effected him. But nothing had quite the impact that Rose had. She'd come into his life at a crucial time and she exited it at an equally crucial time.

She had been the one to change him. To take a bitter, angry man who had destroyed his own species, and brought love, warmth, hope and joy back into his heart. That losing her and watching her lose him, had broken him enough to infect him in ways he hadn't come to accept until he regenerated into who he was now and that the person he was now, was in part due to her absence. He couldn't without telling her about her future and he didn't dare do that.

He saw her searching his face for some sign of the gentle, caring Doctor she knew so well.

He walked over to her, and it took an effort on her part not to keep backing away. She met his gaze, hers still full of a mixture of fear and pain. His face was unreadable, but he looked intense.

"Do you want to know where your future lay, Rose?" He challenged quietly, his eyes so full on hers that once again she couldn't look away even if she had wanted to. "If I taught you anything, I hope it's that the unexpected is where the meat of the adventure always lays. Looking ahead and seeing what will happen, spoils it. Spoils the gift of our time together."

This was killing him inside. Could he steal her away from his past self and start anew? He wanted to. So badly he wanted to do just that. But it was all true. Were he to do so, what might happen to those they had saved together? What might happen to his past self? To Martha? To Donna? To Amy and Rory and everyone else he had known and helped or hurt since he parted from Rose? It would change him and cause his own time line to splinter along with Rose's. What might it do to her?

Even if he did such a weighty thing as that, it wouldn't change an important fact. If he were to agree to take her along, something would eventually happen. She would become hurt or die. She would watch people around her that she cared about fall. If she were 'lucky' enough to grow old, she would watch him remain young in appearance and he would have to watch her die. It felt selfish to ask that of her. To have her give up everything for him again only for her to meet her end having never really lived. Certainly not in any linear sort of life.

Genuinely, he cherished the memories of his time with Rose. The adventures they had together were a gift to him and to her. He wouldn't give them up without a fight.

"Do you really want to take that from me, Rose? Do you really want to take that away from yourself?" He was speaking gently now. She was relieved at that, but not at what he was saying.

Rose didn't want to leave the Doctor. She didn't want to change what she was positive was an incredible journey they would have together. She knew he was right. That being here was changing their futures. Would it make things worse or better? He acted like he was decently happy with how things had turned out. Yet, if that was true, why had he looked so very upset at seeing her again? And if that future he clung to included her not being with him, did she really want it at all? How could he?

She didn't want to be away from him. He needed her. He didn't seem to realize he_ was _her life. Look at him and that Rory fellow. They were in the midst of some sort of dilemma with Rory's wife and child in danger, and she could help. But if his future didn't include her, she wouldn't be here to help unless she refused to leave him now.

It was a quietly tragic position to be in.

"I don't want to leave you." She finally threw the words out there.

"Then don't." He was smiling, but there was a great sadness to the smile. The smile itself didn't reach his eyes. "Go back to me, Rose. Don't leave me."

Talk about a rather major conflicting choice of words on his part! Rose didn't think he understood the gravity they held. How could she do both? Either way, she would feel like she was betraying him. If she went back to the Doctor in the park, she would be abandoning him in his future. If she stayed with him now, wouldn't that be abandoning his former self and changing everything?

She didn't even feel the tear that slid down her cheek and dropped down onto the TARDIS floor. She was busy staring at him and trying desperately to figure out a solution.

But how could she solve the unsolvable?

The Doctor saw the tear. It grated on his already edgy nerves. This never should have happened. She never should have been faced with this kind of choice. She never should have been here. He didn't ask why Rory had to run into her, but he did wish it hadn't happened. Not that he wasn't eternally happy to see her again, but because it was causing her pain.

He couldn't bear to see Rose hurting and knowing he was the cause of it made him all the more unhappy. Had it been something or someone else, he could have done something to fight back and help her. But when he was the cause of it, he had to deal with the fact that he was the source of her hurt and there was very little he could do about that.

His hand reached up toward her wet cheek. His fingers halted a single inch from touching her. He brushed them downwards, but still didn't touch her. He let his hand drop back to fold with his other.

She watched him with a puzzled expression falling into place.

"Don't you want me to stay?" He heard it. The hurt. She was feeling rejected because of him. He cringed.

"I want you to live the life you are meant to." He was speaking with such a mournful tone that Rose couldn't stand it any longer.

He was surprised to find himself facing a suddenly angry Rose.

"So, what makes you think you get to decide my fate?" He blinked as she continued. "What gives you the right to pick my future for me?" Rose demanded. "You say that as if my life is written in stone or something. It isn't! I make my own future. My own decisions. My future is what I make it. Not you or anyone else!" She was daring him to argue with her and he could see that all over her face now.

He didn't. He couldn't. He knew that look. It told him that even were he to physically shove her out of his TARDIS right here and now, she would defy him. She would defy the laws of time themselves. She would hunt him down and refuse to give up on any level until she had what she believed he was trying to take from her.

Things were changing.

The Doctor was always aware on some level, as to what his former incarnations did that changed his current self. Usually it was subtle happenings. Meeting someone unexpected that he hadn't remembered during his time as that incarnation, but suddenly they were there, in his mind. Sometimes it was just having a different thought than he'd originally had. That was just a part of being a full time, time traveler. It came with the territory.

Something was changing that may have been starting out in a very subtle manner, but he knew it wouldn't end that way. He saw it in his mind's eye. His own memories were changing. The time he had meant to take Rose to 1979 was changing. He remembered it as it was happening.

His former, Tenth, incarnation, was making choices different than the ones _he_ had made as him.

That was changing everything.

This was dangerous.

The Doctor had to do something fast.

"You're right." He was speaking softly again. His smile gentle and caring toward her, though it still held a tint of tragedy to it that touched Rose in a way she wished it hadn't. Seeing him sad was painful.

Why was nearly everything about this encounter, so damned painful?

She wasn't sure what to make of his quick changes. "I wanna stay. With you. The you of here and now. If I'm not in your future if I don't, then I'm staying." She decided. It was hard. She didn't want to leave the Doctor she knew so well for this stranger she was only just getting to know. She didn't want to have to start over again with him. But she would rather do that then leave him alone and not be here for him. If she returned to the Doctor in his past, her present, it would mean she wouldn't be here for him now, in his future, and she couldn't think how that would be a good thing on any level.

"Your future is yours, and yours alone. Not mine or anyone else's to tamper with." He nodded and held his hand out to her.

Rose looked at his hand, and then at his face. He appeared calm, relatively unscathed by her decision, and fairly upbeat considering the current circumstances. Was he happy with her decision? She wasn't sure at all about that, but there was something she _was_ sure about.

He had tricked her in the past. He had tricked her into leaving him. She wouldn't let him do that again. "You won't make me leave then?" She asked, looking at him questioningly.

His smile widened even as his hearts silently broke. "Of course not. You've made your decision. Who am I to argue with your choices?" He easily agreed. Too easily, Rose decided.

He kept his hand out invitingly. "I'm leaving soon. So. Ready to go on another adventure, Rose?"

She was watching him anxiously. Something felt wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on what, exactly, it was.

In answer to his question, she slowly slid her hand into his. His fingers intermingled and locked with hers. His hand lightly warmed hers as he turned back to the console.

"Now, I had Rory take the others back to the pool. A good distraction for them while he confronts the Cybermen, which he has to do so that we can find out where his wife is. You can help." He looked at her so brightly, she couldn't help slightly smiling in spite of herself.

He was the Doctor even though he was different. She knew she would come to like this version in time. He was certainly charming, flirtatious, mysterious, and she was sure he was fun and as quirky as ever. She could take her time and mourn and miss the Doctor as she knew him, but that would be a lot easier if she focused on him here and now. She just had to keep reminding herself she was doing this so he wouldn't have to be alone. He needed a constant in his life besides just the TARDIS.

"I'd like that." She let her smile brighten a bit more. "What can I do to help?"

The Doctor gently tugged her along with him as he moved around the console, pressing a button here, pulling a lever there. "You have a very important job!" He assured her. "Amy, she's a friend of mine as you probably already know, she's being held captive."

"And she has a baby, yeah?"

"Yes. At least, she should by now."

"What?"

"But I'm sure they're safe. They didn't just kill her, they _took_ her. They took her for a reason. I just have to find them and rescue her. What I need you to do, Rose, is help us ambush them. You're handy with a rope swing if I remember right." He teased, grinning full on at her.

He did very much remember her rescuing him shortly after they first met. Rose Tyler had saved the entire planet and him with her resourcefulness and gymnastic skills. It did make him grin truly through the inner turmoil.

She grinned back. "You know you do." She laughed, letting go of his hand to lightly punch the side of his shoulder.

"Yes, you know I don't forget a thing, even if I don't always remember things in the right order." He chuckled and gently tweaked her nose before carrying on with working at the TARDIS controls.

She scrunched her nose up and watched him. That was different. He'd never done that before. It was cute, yet also reminded her of something a grandfatherly sort of person might do. It was just another unique Doctor-quirk and she decided she liked it.

He moved around to the other side of the console and adjusted the scanner. He didn't let her see his face just then. He was looking very troubled indeed as he gazed at the monitor. He didn't want to do this. He loathed himself for having to put her through anything more after all she had already experienced. But he wiped the solemn expression away and replaced it with another grin.

He moved away from the scanner and back around to her side. "I'm waiting for someone, so if you could just keep an eye on the scanner. To make sure he comes before we leave." He waved a hand toward the scanner as he busied himself with what looked like a type writer.

"The TARDIS is so strange like this!" She walked around to the scanner, smiling in wonder at the changes. "It's all sort of old looking."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." He was also still smiling away, she saw. He didn't let it show. Not a hint on his face or in his voice of what he was doing. He couldn't dare. If he did, and if she knew, she wouldn't like it. He had to do this. It was for the sake of both her and those that would come after her. If he were to be selfish, he wouldn't be doing this at all. Each moment that ticked by made him hate himself and hurt for what he was doing to her, all the more.

She sauntered around to peer up at the scanner as an image blurred and adjusted itself. "Oh looks like your friend might be here." She said as she watched the image come into focus. It was definitely a person. And then the image cleared.

The Doctor she knew, in his Tenth incarnation, appeared on the screen.

Rose stared.


	5. Dangerous Choices

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><p>"Doctor..." Rose uttered the name of the man she would give her life for.<p>

The Doctor in the TARDIS with her, placed his hands on the console and simply gazed down at it, listening and waiting.

Rose was once again hugging herself with her arms as she stared up at the scanner, enthralled.

The Doctor on the scanner screen was looking around at everything as if he were lost. His eyes were crinkled at the corners and his mouth set in a firm line.

"He looks...Worried." She swallowed, suddenly finding her mouth dry.

"That's because he _is_ worried." The Doctor in the TARDIS spoke up.

The Doctor on the scanner was wearing his long coat. It brushed the ground when he bent down to his knees. He reached down and touched the Earth. He brought two fingers to his lips and tasted it. He didn't make the usual comical face of disgust at the taste. He lowered his head further down to sniff the ground.

Rose stood up on her tip toes and let go of her arms to reach up and touch the bar below the screen. "What's he doing?"

The man on the scanner slowly stood back up and glanced toward the bushes. He walked over and bent to examine them.

"He's looking for you, Rose."

She didn't know what to say to that. Several minutes, or was it only seconds, passed in silence.

The Doctor in the bow tie had glided over to stand near her, but he wasn't looking at the screen with her. He was watching her now. "He's worried because you haven't come back to him, and he doesn't know that you won't be coming back."

Rose's stomach felt like there was acrobatics going on in there. She frowned, dropping a hand to the console, the other still clinging to the bar below the scanner screen.

"He went looking for you at your mum's." The Doctor informed her, the memories fresh and old at the same time in his mind. "When she told him you weren't there and that you hadn't yet been there to see her, he got scared. Very extremely scared. He thinks something has happened to you. He thinks you've been attacked, or hurt, or taken against your will somewhere."

"But I'm fine!" She protested as the Doctor moved beside her. He tilted his head as he kept his eye on her.

The Doctor on the scanner reappeared a moment and she reached up with her free hand to touch the screen. She stroked his cheek through the screen. Not until he went back toward the bushes did she drop her hand back down.

"But..." He started quietly, his hand moving to rest atop hers. "He doesn't know that."

"Then I'll...I'll just go and tell him." Even when she said it, she knew it would never work.

"If you do that, he won't let you come back."

"But he can't-"

"He can. He will."

She knew he was right. There was no way the Doctor would allow her to return to his future self and put herself at such a risk as to change her own potential future just to spare him from being alone and without her in his.

She felt his hand on hers and her determination grew. She didn't want to leave her Doctor, it didn't matter to her where on his time she was, as long as she didn't have to see him hurting like she did when she first met this version of him.

The man in the street who'd been in pain just to see her. She couldn't let that happen again. If changing her future could prevent that, then she didn't care what the consequences to herself might be.

As for others, she thought the Doctor played with that all the time anyway. He was always changing peoples' futures by stepping in and rearranging things, producing a different outcome for them than they would have had naturally. Just because she decided to step later into his time line instead of staying in the earlier time line, didn't mean he wouldn't still be doing that. It just meant she wouldn't have to leave him. He wouldn't have to be so alone anymore.

"Then I won't tell him." She pulled her eyes from the Doctor on the scanner, too look to the one right beside her. "I'll just stay here and he'll figure it out when he's you and I come along."

Why did he have to look so sad?

"It doesn't work like that. You're re-writing time, Rose. He won't go on without you to the next adventure on his own. It isn't as if you've just stepped away on a holiday or popped off to your mum's. You've gone missing. As far as he is concerned, you're in trouble and he won't stop until he finds you."

"But-"

"Rose, he is me. I _am_ him."

They both looked at the scanner then. The Doctor on the scanner was now using his sonic to scan nearby buildings and he was frowning deeply. Rose could see he was definitely upset.

"Trust me. He won't stop. He will spend the rest of his time looking for you and feeling responsible for your disappearance. He will always wonder what happened to you and he won't ever know because he won't ever become me because his journey will be different than mine. Which means there won't be a you for him to run into in his future because he won't be me. And even if he does become me, he won't be exactly like me, which means he may not even meet Amy and Rory which also means Rory will have never run into you in the first place and this meeting will have never happened."

Rose had to take a minute to try to absorb that complicated bit of information he had just thrown at her.

"But I can't just leave you!" Rose's eyes were tearing up once more. "And you can't know how things will turn out for him if they haven't happened yet."

"You're not going to leave me, Rose." The Doctor beside her, kept his hand on hers and smiled apologetically. He really didn't mind what happened to him, it was what happened to her that mattered to him. Seeing her so torn was distressing. Trying desperately to get her to leave was agonizing, but he couldn't afford to let her see how much it hurt him to let her go.

"You're going to walk out that door, run over to me, and tell me you're okay. Then we'll be off on another trip."

"No."

"Rose."

"No!" She shook her head and pulled her hand out from under his. She looked into his eyes, seeking something. He peered back at her, perplexed by her sudden search. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

"Tell me you're not hurting because of me. Tell me you don't miss me. Tell me you're happy without me. Tell me you don't need me at all." She demanded, stepping closer to him, invading his personal space. He didn't move.

"Tell me the truth, Doctor. And if you really aren't hurting, don't miss me, are perfectly happy, and don't need me at all, then I'll go. I'll walk right out that door and you won't have to push me out."

The Doctor faltered.

He continued letting her search his eyes for answers, but he worked at making sure they didn't reveal the ones she was seeking.

"Tell me." She repeated, staring him down.

He stood his ground for a good long minute before throwing his gaze upwards along with his hands, and groaning in frustration. "Just..."

"Just what, Doctor?" She didn't flinch, didn't break her stare even though he had. He was revealing much more to her than he wanted to, just by refusing to answer her questions.

Flustered, the Doctor reacted. He reached out and grabbed her determinedly by the upper arms and started pulling her steadfastly toward the door.

"Doctor, wait, what are you doing?" Her voice started to raise, her eyes flying around at being jolted, and then back to his. "Let me go!"

"This is for your own good!" He snapped, the cool steeliness back in his voice, replacing the tender tones that had just been there.

He went from hot to cold so quickly, it was frightening to Rose.

"But you need me!"

"And you need me, Rose." He pulled open the door and shoved her out so hard she staggered and fell, cutting her leg. "Doctor!"

He swiftly slammed the door shut behind him, sliding the lock into place.

"_Doctor_!" Her tears spilled over.

He was leaving her. He needed her, but he was leaving her behind, in his past. He was not only leaving her, but forcing himself to go on alone without her again.

The Tenth Doctor had pulled his glasses on and was closely re-examining an indent in some dirt behind a bush that clearly was made by someone falling, when he heard Rose crying out for him. He jumped up and darted out from behind the bushes.

"Rose?"

There she was, sprawled out on the ground, her pants leg torn and bloodied from a deep cut along her lower leg. She was crying and looked very upset.

He immediately dashed over to her and knelt down beside her. "Rose, what happened? Are you okay?" He pulled out the sonic and scanned her. Aside from a moderate abrasion on her leg, there didn't seem to be any other damage. But her pulse was beating almost too quickly and the fact that she was crying, drove him to reach out and pull her into a massive hug.

"He shoved me out, Doctor. He just...Threw me out like he didn't care!" She shook as she clung to him.

_He threw me out like I don't matter to him anymore... _

"_What_?" The Doctor was worried all over again. "Who? Who did this to you? Rose, who hurt you?" He demanded as he scanned the surrounding area with his eyes, trying to find the source of her distress. He was hoping he could spot the person or thing that had done this so he could unleash his fury onto them.

Someone had _hurt_ her. Someone had deliberately done this to her? He attempted to keep his anger in check. Whomever dared to hurt Rose would have a mighty scary and ticked off Time Lord coming after them if she wasn't okay.

Rose kept her face in his chest a moment, thinking. She was calming down but not because of his comforting. Because she was making a decision.

"Doctor." Her muffled voice came before she pulled away from him and wiped at her eyes.

She couldn't believe it. She'd seen too much in his future self's eyes and in the things he did and didn't say and did and didn't do. His throwing her so violently out of the TARDIS had been him in a state of blind panic. She_ felt _it, even if she didn't understand it. She knew without a doubt in her heart that he needed her.

She didn't want to let go of the Doctor before her, but if she didn't do it now, he would be alone forever more after this. She didn't know how or why, but at some point, she would leave him and she couldn't bear that thought. She sensed from him a great deal of sadness and it told her she hadn't left him in any conventional way. Neither of them would have wanted her to go. She couldn't let his coldness and harsh actions be her guide. She had to follow her heart.

Rose was most definitely torn. She felt it in his hug, this Doctor kneeling before her, he cared. He needed and wanted her. He enjoyed her company and was relieved and happy she was okay. She knew that even when he changed faces, he still had the same hearts. She refused to be fooled by different personalities or behaviors. It was still the same man guiding them.

She leaned forward suddenly and kissed him. She pressed her lips firmly to his and pulled him close by his coat.

The Doctor was absolutely thrown into a stupor by her sudden kiss. Her lips on his, he couldn't help thinking what if this was someone else again. The last time she'd pounced on him for a snog, she had been Cassandra. But she was so upset this time and she seemed very much like Rose to him. He felt the wetness from her tears against his own cheeks. His hand landed lightly on her arm.

Rose wondered if he might try to pull away, but he was hardly protesting this kiss. Her lips lingered a moment longer on his, her hand gently sliding up and through his hair once before she pulled back.

She gazed at his face. He looked dazed and baffled.

"Well, that was-"

She stopped him. "Doctor." The tears were still falling.

He forced his eyes to focus on her face. _Why does she look so sad?_

"I've got something important to tell you." She informed him, laughing slightly through her tears.

"Rose, what's wrong?" He frowned.

"But you have to come back here one day." She slowly climbed to her feet, leaving him there kneeling on the ground, to stare up at her, confused.

"Promise me, Doctor. Promise me you'll come back here one day, to this exact place and time." She pleaded.

"I promise." He immediately agreed, watching her, his hair disheveled by her hand.

"And find me."

"What?" His eyes widened. "Rose...? Rose, what-"

"It's okay. Really it is, I promise, Doctor. I'm okay. Don't come looking for me until it's time. Everything is okay." She started to back away from him. "I'm doing this for you." She told the very confused and worried Doctor.

"You come for me." She said, pulling her hands together to point them towards him. A smile was on her face as her cheeks shimmered with her unchecked tears. "And I'll tell you what I have to say then."

The Doctor slowly rose to his feet. Something was wrong here and he wasn't grasping what it was. "Rose...?" He questioned, trusting her, but completely clueless.

Her hands dropped back down as she stared at him, memorizing every outline of his face. The confusion, the worry, even the silly way his hair was messed up. He'd taken his glasses off again, she noticed. She wanted to remember him how he was. She backed up until she felt the invisible TARDIS up against her back.

So he hadn't left yet. He was watching. He was waiting. For her. She was sure of it.

She tugged her TARDIS key out of a back pocket and quickly turned around, turning her back on the Doctor.

She slid the key into the lock, focusing her thoughts on unlocking it even though the TARDIS had changed so much. She also knew it was psychic and could sense who was who and just might recognize her key.

Rose turned the key in the lock and it clicked.

"Rose?" The Doctor behind her questioned again. "Rose, what are you doing?" He didn't sound upset, just concerned. He didn't realize what was happening.

Her heart skipped a beat. She didn't answer him. She couldn't. She pushed and the door gave way for her. She was careful not to reveal the interior to the Doctor behind her. He couldn't see she'd gotten her key out or that she had opened a door. She hurriedly vanished inside and closed it behind her.

She locked it securely behind her, turning her back on his past and looking toward his future.

She ran over to the console and the now somewhat familiar bow tie wearing Doctor. He wasn't looking at the scanner, but he definitely knew what was happening.

"Doctor, we have to leave now. Before he comes! He'll wonder why I disappeared. I'm sure he'll figure out what happened when he hears the TARDIS leave, but please, we have to hurry!" She pleaded, tugging on his arm.

He jerked it away from her and moved around the console. He started the engines up much to her relief. He moved around it, throwing them into the vortex. But Rose noticed right away that something was wrong.

"How come it isn't making the noise? That noise it makes when we land or take off from some place?"

Her entire plan had rested on the knowledge that the Tenth Doctor would immediately know and figure out what happened to her once the TARDIS noise alerted him to the fact. That way he would always know and wouldn't come in search of her and would go on with what he needed to do so that he could, in his future, come back to this point in time and find her again. That was the only way she felt okay about leaving him like this. She knew if she told him herself, he would have stopped her. But now, how would he ever know the truth?

The Doctor ignored her entirely as he moved around the console. He was scowling deeply.

"Doctor? Talk to me."

He finished placing the TARDIS into the vortex and stood back. Now he turned his full attention to her and stared at her with what felt like..._Hatred_.

"Doctor...?" Rose was suddenly scared. Had she made a wrong choice, after all?

His hands clenched into fists at his sides, he stalked toward her. She stared at him with wide eyes. Her tears were drying up, but her heart was beating like a herd of buffalo were storming through her chest.

He stopped right before her, now he was the one invading her personal space. His face was inches from hers. His eyes were dark and full of pure animosity.

Rose drew in a shuddering breath at his look.

"There is no turning back now. It's too late. You wanted to choose your fate, and so you have." He waved a finger in her face. "And you've taken many others' fates along with you." He spat the words so venomously at her, Rose wanted to cry out in terror. Not that she feared he would actually strike her, but she feared his rejection.

If the Doctor hated her now, where did that leave her? Her entire world was being shattered before her very eyes. "When everything falls apart, Rose Tyler, you'll have only yourself to blame."

With that, he turned back around and hunched over the console, his back to her. He was angry at her. So very angry that Rose was scared to move.

_What have I done?_


	6. Unraveled

**IMPORTANT: I don't normally take up your reading space by personally addressing people on here, but once in a while I decide to explain myself a bit so people can understand that I_ do_ know what I'm doing. If anyone feels I haven't addressed a significant plot point/have created a plot hole/etc, after a couple of chapters, then, yes, do_ please feel free to ask about it_! I'm human and make mistakes and I would hate to miss something important. However, I also feel I've got a decent grasp on things and I hope I address that here for those of you who have concerns.  
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***shadowneko003 - Thanks for reviewing! If you go back and check, you will see that multiple times in previous chapters I laid the groundwork for readers to pick up on the fact that the Eleventh Doctor often uses anger and coldness in place of his fear/anxiety/worry/pain. Of course he doesn't hate her. He could never truly hate or be angry with Rose, you're right. He is angry with himself and he is worried for her and the rest of the Universe.**

***romanticangel92 - Thank you for the review! Rose isn't seeing it as a paradox since the Doctor hasn't said it's a fixed point in time, and since it is her future, not her past, that she is changing, she doesn't see it the same way as what happened with her dad. She is really smart, but she doesn't have as much knowledge/experience as the Doctor has in such matters.**

***LilienRose - Thank you for your trust in me! :) I can't tell you how the story will end, as that would spoil it. But I can tell you, I don't intend to disappoint. **

***AkumakoRonso - Thanks for your review! About Bad Wolf - Rose becoming the Bad Wolf in this story is unlikely, but anything is possible! **

***JollyRoger1 - Thank you very much for your review and encouragement! **

***Whiskey10882 - Aww, thanks! ^_^ I'm amazed myself, I usually take forever to update! I hope you continue to enjoy this story.**

**Thank you for all of the support and encouragement. I truly appreciate everyone's reviews!**

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><p>Unraveled<p>

Rose sat on the floor between chairs, her legs splayed out in front of her. She looked as if she wished she could disappear between those very chairs and hide away from the hostility she was feeling directed at her from the Doctor. Had she made a terrible mistake?

She knew she was taking a chance on this. Why was he so angry with her? She was too scared and upset to move from her spot wedged between the chairs. She just stared out at the Doctor as he moved around the console.

The silence was heavy.

What would the Doctor do with her? Would he ever forgive her? She couldn't even cry for all the anxiety she was having.

The Doctor could remember the last time he'd hurt Rose. It had been a far worse a disaster because he'd dumped her off in an alternative Universe with his human double and basically disregarded her feelings completely on the matter. It was what he always eventually had to do in one way or another. He always had to say goodbye.

The current situation was forcing him to reflect.

She was important to him. He couldn't allow anything bad to happen to her, but yet it was. It had already. He knew the things he dare not say now. That he had left her in that other world for selfish reasons. Because he wanted to go off and pretend she would be safe and happy and okay with an extended version of himself in human form. It was easy to leave thinking she would be well cared for by the human Doctor. And she would be. That he was certain of. He didn't think it was what she really wanted, but he hadn't given her an opportunity to voice that. He never could.

She was intelligent and had a tender heart. He was well aware that she knew he was giving her a sort of 'consolation' prize when he offered up the human version of himself before leaving. Most weren't lucky enough to even get that, he reasoned. He couldn't get around the undeniable. He had done the thing he earnestly promised her he would _not_ do. He had left Rose behind.

He glanced up and caught her reflection in a piece of glass on the console. His hearts immediately started pumping quicker.

The fragile image of Rose cowering in the small corner between the TARDIS chairs as if to escape his presence was enough to send the Time Lord into another cycle of self loathing that would have had a more tragic figure heading for the nearest cliff to dive off of.

His eyebrows drew together. His lips pressed together. It came off a lot like a scowl. He despised what this was doing to her and he couldn't believe he had allowed this to happen.

Things would only get worse from here. He would have to prepare her.

He'd tried so desperately to spare her from what was to come, that he hadn't taken the time to handle things properly. Now it was all landing squarely back on his shoulders. The weight of his actions.

There she was, needing his reassurances. Needing him to tell her he hadn't meant a word of it. But he couldn't. He needed her to be strong right now and that wouldn't happen if he broke down and softened too much on her.

He turned slowly and stepped over to her. He watched her draw in a deep, shaky breath and fold her legs in front of her to make room for his steps.

He lowered himself to his knees before her. He reached out wordlessly and gently pulled her leg. He stretched it out and rolled the torn leg of her pants up to her knee.

Rose watched him. Was he going to tell her how stupid she was for not leaving when he told her to? Was he going to yell and toss her out of the TARDIS again? He was so different, but he was so him. She never knew what to expect.

He pulled out the green sonic she wasn't sure she liked. Blue was prettier, she decided.

He pointed it at her still bleeding leg and ran it up and down the length of the deep abrasion. Slowly as he did so, she felt a tickling sensation in her leg. It was tickling and itchy. She looked down, and to her amazement, saw the skin repairing itself under the warmth of the green light.

"But how does it do that? It's never done it before."

"The sonic has a psychic interface. A point and think feature, as Rory says. I didn't use it often in my last incarnation so you probably didn't realize." He explained. As he said this, he knew he was changing things all the more. She wasn't meant to ever know that. It wasn't a fact he had ever shared with her.

Rose watched her skin healing and wondered at it. It meant the Doctor was trying to heal her and wanting to. Otherwise such a feature couldn't work. Surely that had to mean he didn't completely hate her for what she had done?

He took out a clean cloth and gingerly wiped the remaining blood from the now healed wound. There wasn't even a scar. The scar tissue was fresh enough to fully heal and the wound had been deep, but not too deep for the sonic to be able to repair the damage.

"I shouldn't have...Pushed you so hard." It sounded as if the words were hard for him to even admit. As though merely saying them, was painful for him. Rose was grateful for them just the same.

"No, you shouldn't have!" She agreed, not letting him off the hook quite so fast. "You could have really hurt me, Doctor."

"Yes, I know I could have." Was all he replied and she couldn't be sure how he felt about that, but he didn't look terribly happy with himself as he studied her leg.

"You didn't leave."

He didn't reply to that so she went on.

"You could have. But you stayed. You wanted me to come with you and now you're trying to punish me for it." She accused.

"No, it's not like that. I was watching to make sure you did what you were supposed to do and got back to him safely. I didn't think you could get back in. I locked the door. And how does your key even work? The locks have been changed!"

It was her turn not to answer. She didn't have an answer to that. She wasn't sure why her key had worked, but it had. The Doctor knew the TARDIS had a mind of her own, so he really did have a good idea about how Rose managed to get her key to work, but he kept that to himself.

Suddenly he was reaching out and taking hold of her wrists. He turned them over in his hands and tugged them toward himself as he leaned forward, his eyes inches from hers. "Rose." He spoke her name with a quiet gentleness that she wasn't used to from this new Doctor.

That had most definitely caught her full attention. She stared back.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"I need you to be brave for me now. Can you do that?"

Rose licked her lips nervously. "Yes, of course I can. What is it Doctor? What's wrong?"

What was he getting at here? Why was he being so nice? His bipolar behavior was throwing Rose off. Did he even realize how everything he did affected her?

"Things are changing."

He kept saying that, thought Rose. She wished he would explain what he meant by that though.

"You've got to understand that as my last incarnation changes what he does, it changes what happens to us now. It changes everything."

He kept a firm, but careful hold of her wrists. He could feel it happening. The changing.

There wasn't much time now.

"But I told him that everything was okay and that he could come find me again like you did. Everything should work out."

"_Should_. But things don't always work out how we plan them." He pointed out. "He's scared for you. He doesn't understand what's happened to you. I remember it, Rose. I remember you."

She felt dread spilling over her in the form of cold waves over her skin. "What..." She struggled to make sense of this. "What do you mean you remember me?"

"I remember being him." He was gazing at her steadily. She met his gaze with a confused one of her own. "I remember watching you leave. But I didn't know. And he doesn't know. To him, it looks as if you were somehow sacrificing yourself for him. To him, he thinks you've given yourself over to some alien force in order to save him from something and he isn't going to let that go. I can see it. What was and what now is. The time line is beginning to splinter and they can't both survive."

"But if you had just let the TARDIS make its normal sounds..."

"He would have known you came along with another version of him and he would have known how dangerous that was and he would be coming for you which would create a paradox that might not ever be sorted because this isn't about _his_ choices."

She paled and tried not to look as terrified as she felt.

"Rose, he thinks you're in a lot of trouble and that he needs to rescue you. He isn't going on with his journeys as he should, without finding out why and how you disappeared into thin air before his very eyes."

She swallowed down the crest of fear as it rose even more rapidly within her. "I didn't know this would happen..."

"I know you didn't." He was speaking even softer than before. He sounded apologetic.

His eyes remained locked on hers as he came even closer.

"You need to hold on to what is really in your heart. Follow it. Because everything else depends on it. It's all up to you now, Rose."

"What is?"

The corners of his lips softly curled upwards. "I believe in you. Be brave. Be strong."

He leaned in, his lips brushing across her forehead. "I'm sorry." He whispered before releasing her wrists and standing up. He quickly turned around and went back to the console.

She stayed put, her wrists laying upwards in her lap. Her eyes remained glued to his back as he strolled around his console. She slowly lowered them to her fully healed leg. She tugged her pant's leg back down and got up off the floor.

If the Doctor needed her to be brave and strong, then she would be.

She stepped over to the console. "So, what happens now?" She peered around at him.

He held up a finger and opened his mouth to reply, but just then Rory hurried back into the room, looking anxious.

"Doctor! Doctor, what's happening?"

"Rory?" He questioned calmly, turning to the Roman.

"They...Everyone is disappearing. They're just...Vanishing!"

The Doctor didn't reply. He turned back to the console and adjusted a dial.

"Doctor?" Rory walked over to him. "What about Amy? Is she-"

Rory had stopped talking in mid-sentence. Rose moved around the console to see why. He wasn't there. She looked all around the console room, but couldn't spot him, even under it. "Where did he go?"

The Doctor stepped back and looked at her.

The self-effacing look on his face made her cringe. How that man managed to look both solemn and smile at the same time, was beyond her.

"He's gone."

"Where?"

"He was never here to begin with, Rose."

"But he was! I saw him. He was here!"

"And now he wasn't here. Things work differently when you're a time traveler. We remember him because we remember before time shifted. But it's shifting now. It's splintering itself as events that _were_, no longer _are_. You see, we've changed history, and in doing so, we've also changed our futures." He wasn't completely blaming her, she noticed. But she knew she was responsible for it.

"He's not dead though?"

"I have no idea where Rory Pond is. Or if he is even Rory Pond, or ever was. I've never met him."

"But you did! I did. I remember...Are you saying I only remember him because we're time travelers?"

He nodded.

She moved over to him, her eyes full of questions needing answers.

"If things have changed, that doesn't mean it's bad, does it? He's probably at home?" She asked hopefully.

His rueful smile widened just slightly. That didn't make her feel any better about things. Surely what she had done, only meant he never picked up that Rory guy. He was probably safely at home having a normal life and never having met the Doctor._ Right?_

"We could always go see? Go to wherever he lives and see if he's okay? Just to make sure." She sounded worried.

The Doctor could tell she was feeling guilty. He would have loved to take the time to comfort her, but time was the one thing he was lacking now that things were changing so quickly.

"No, we can't."

"Yes we can! Why can't we? You've got the TARDIS. You can just take us to wherever he is so we can make sure everything worked out okay."

"We really can't." He sighed softly. "I can't do that."

"But why not?" She demanded, staring him down as best she could. Why did he have to be so contrary?

"Rose." He reached out again, taking hold of her hand and giving it a delicate squeeze.

"Find me." He quietly requested. "I believe in you."

"What do mean, Doctor? You're right here!" She couldn't understand what he wanted from her.

"Look." His eyes flew off hers and over her shoulder before landing back on hers again. "Be brave now."

She turned slowly to see what it was he was looking at and talking about.

The console was missing. The now familiar glow was gone. They were no longer inside the TARDIS.

She was inside a flat. Her hand went cold so she assumed the Doctor had let go of it.

What was more shocking, she recognized this flat. It was her flat! Her mum's, actually. "How did we get here? Where's the TARDIS?"

She turned around. The Doctor was gone.

"Doctor?" She hurried toward the door and flung it open. "_Doctor_?" He was nowhere to be seen.

She ran into her mother's room. "Mum, the Doctor's gone!" She stopped and stared.

Her mother's room was bare. Not just that her mother wasn't there, but her mother's things. They were gone. The room held a bare bed with no sheets, and the walls were covered with dust. When she took a moment and peered round at the other rooms, she took in the fact that all of the rooms were pretty bare. What sparse furniture that was around, was covered in sheets to keep the dust off. The lights were all off and the only reason she could see anything was the windows were open with sunlight shining through.

"Mum? Doctor? Where is everyone? What's happened here?" She tried not to let her worry overcome her actions. She went into her own room and saw that nothing was there. Not even her clothes! Where had everything been taken? Why was it so dusty as if no one had been here in ages?

She pulled out her mobile and dialed her mother's phone. She got a terrible feeling as the automated system told her that the number she was calling was no longer in service.

She tucked it back into her pocket and hurried out of the flat. She ran downstairs and out of the building, back to where she had first entered the Doctor's TARDIS. She felt around, in a frenzy to locate the invisible TARDIS, but to no avail. It just wasn't here anymore.

Rose ran back the other way, ignoring the people on the streets as she ran back toward the park. The Tenth Doctor's TARDIS was not there either.

Sweating and out of breath now, she ran all the way back to the flats and to Mickey's place. She pounded desperately on the door.

"Please be home, please be home, please be home!" She chanted.

The door swung open and she was about to fling herself at him, but it wasn't Mickey.

An elderly man stood at the door.

"Can I help you?" He asked.

"Where's Mickey? Mickey Smith? He lives here..." She asked, uncertainly.

"Mickey Smith?" The man scratched his beard. "He moved out a couple years back."

"What?"

"Dunno where he moved to, but this is my place now. Good luck to you." He closed the door, leaving a stunned Rose to stare after him.

Rose figured Mickey had probably been implicated again in her disappearance and that was why he wasn't here now.

She started walking. Wandering, really. She didn't know what to do.

Rose was scared. And alone. This wasn't supposed to happen! What was even happening?

She noticed that things weren't looking completely familiar to her. Streets were, but some shops weren't. A few looked very new, and one that she had remembered as being quite new before, looked a bit older and more settled with more appliances in the windows than she had seen just earlier that same day as she had walked by with the Doctor, the Tenth Doctor.

She stopped in front of a newspaper stand. The date immediately struck out at her. Not so much the month or day, but the year. 2011. "But it's only 2006!" She exclaimed, earning her a few interesting looks from passersby.

She looked around warily and backed away.

Things had most definitely changed. She didn't understand it at all. How had she ended up in the wrong time? Where was her mum? Where was the Doctor?

She had no mother to help assure her. She had no boyfriend to support her through this. She had no Doctor to tell her what should be done next. Not even a TARDIS to try to fall back on for assistance.

She couldn't let herself stop long enough to get worried.

She ran on to the flat of an old friend of her mother's, Debbie. She knocked on the woman's door with a shaky fist.

Moments, what felt like ages to Rose, passed before the dark haired woman answered. She had her hair pulled up in curlers as she held the door opened and stared at her.

"Hello, Debbie, have you seen my mum?"

Debbie's hand flew up to her chest where her heart was and she gasped. "R-Rose? How...?"

Rose blinked. "What is it? Have I been gone long again?"

"_Long_? Rose, you've went missing since years back!"

"_Years_?" Rose was in shock. More so even than the woman before her.

"We all thought you were dead!"

"Well, I'm not. I was..." How could she possibly explain? She decided not to even try. "Just-Where's my mum? She's not back at the flat."

The woman's tired eyes fell. She tugged her robe around herself more firmly.

"She...Waited for you. Some friend of yours, some doctor, kept coming round telling her he'd find you, but he never did. Then he stopped coming round all together. She...It was too much for her, I'm afraid. After four years of waiting, she got sick. I think heartbreak is what did it." She said disapprovingly to Rose.

"I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, Rose, but...Your mother is dead."

"Dead?" Rose stared at her, her pupils growing and her stomach churning. "But she can't be dead! She's my mum!"

"I'm sorry dear, but she's gone. She died last year."

It was all too much.

The tears were spilling before she could even fully comprehend what she'd just been told. Her mother's face flashed before her eyes.

She spun around and ran blindly.

The Doctor had told her that she would have to be brave.

She wasn't so sure she could be as brave as she would have to be to survive this.


	7. Survival

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**I hope you continue to enjoy this story as much as I am.**

**I'll address questions here, but please know I appreciate each and every one of your reviews!**

**LilienRose & Sasusc - I love Ten and Eleven, but as this is supposed to be a Rose and Eleven story, I've decided to mainly stick with Eleven, even though Ten obviously makes some serious appearances. **

**Mary Kathryn - I'm very flattered that you like this story so much and feel inspired to do fan art based off it! Yes, please feel free to go ahead with the art, and share when you're ready! **

**uzumaki_misaki - Not even the Doctor can know the mind of the TARDIS! However, she has her reasons for the things she does, as we all well know. ;)**

**Please review. Thanks!  
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><p>"Miss?" An older gentleman tapped on her shoulder. The girl was hunched over near a pile of burning tires. She was trying to keep warm along with several other homeless people.<p>

Rose stared with blank eyes as the burning flames licked at the night sky. She didn't acknowledge the man.

"Excuse me, Miss?" He persisted, tapping her shoulder again.

Slowly, she dragged her eyes from the flames and over her shoulder to the eyes of the stranger.

"Do you need anything?" He was a nicely dressed man with gray hair and wearing an expensive suit. He looked concerned. He must have just stepped out of one of those fancy restaurants that were nearby. Another of those people who believed he might be able to help the poor with handouts. He was ready with a wallet and an offer of sharing with her the nearest places she could get a good meal. His handouts might have been helpful to some, but they couldn't help her.

"Thanks, mate. But you can't help me. Everything I need is gone." She climbed to her feet and moved past him without looking back.

Rose felt dead inside.

Everything she knew, everything she believed in, was a lie. The Doctor wouldn't always be there for her. Her mum wouldn't either. She had nobody. She was a self-reliant girl, but she was only able to continue on as she did because she believed she could help those she loved. But how could she help them now?

She spent the past two months living on the streets. Her mother's friend had offered to give her a place to sleep and help her find work, but she refused it. Others had offered their support too, but she refused them as well. Getting a job and a bed wouldn't fix anything. As helpful as some people were, they couldn't bring her mother back. They couldn't bring the Doctor back to her. They couldn't undue the choices she had made.

Nothing mattered anymore.

Shivering, she drew her coat further around her body. It easily tucked her deeply inside. She'd lost a significant amount of weight over the past couple of months. She could have gotten free hot meals, but she was rarely hungry. She ate just enough to keep going. She didn't even want to do that much, but pure instinct made her do so. Before she'd changed everything, she thought she would only sacrifice herself if it meant she could bring someone she loved back, or save them somehow. But now, merely surviving was a chore.

Death was feeling far less like a sacrifice and more like a mercy.

She walked past others on the streets who were suffering far more than she was, or such was her belief. She couldn't help but think they all had it far worse than she. Some were very ill, others were incapable of looking after themselves at all. She couldn't tell how distorted her own mind was now, nor how weak her own body had become.

She continued on in the dark, moving past the safety of the streetlamps and onto back alleyways. Onwards she walked, having no destination in mind. She had no place to go.

Rose's tears had long since dried up. She'd spent weeks crying. Crying for her mother. Crying for her Doctor. Crying for what little there was to salvage of her life. Now, she was mostly just numb.

Was this all life had to offer her now? Just a chance to survive?

The words of the Doctor were lost on her. Nothing he said could bring him back to her. Nothing she did could make her mother breathe once more. Nothing anyone ever did could bite back the guilt that had meticulously been eating away at her since this happened.

She'd gone over it all in her mind so many times it became a silent mantra in the back of her brain. The choices she made. She abandoned the Doctor. She took away his future. He tried to tell her not to. He'd warned her. He'd told her to return to her own time line. She had refused and in doing so, and in her mind, she had wrecked everything for him, for her, and for others, possibly all of existence in one way or another.

It had taken her this long just to come to terms with the loss of everything she knew. No more did she have a soft place to fall.

She betrayed the Doctor. He betrayed her. He could have stopped her, she reasoned. He knew far better than she, the consequences of something this astronomical, yet he'd failed to take reasonable efforts in forcing her to yield to all the red flashing signs that screamed out at her to turn back and run back to the Doctor she had left in the park that cool, crisp afternoon.

But Rose couldn't completely blame him. She was a stubborn girl, and she accepted that. The problem was, he believed in her. Too much, perhaps. Far more than she believed in herself. She was letting him down.

She didn't know what to do.

He told her to follow her heart. Her heart had been aching too painfully for her to hear beyond it's cry for reprieve. How could she know what it wanted when she was now so numb to it she often forgot it was still beating?

Rose's arms were wrapped tightly around her chest as she trudged forward aimlessly. Overhead, she heart the faint rumble of thunder.

She found a small crawl space under a set of stairs leading up the back side of a building in an alley. She crawled under and pulled a piece of cardboard between the grooves in the steps above her head as a makeshift shelter before the skies opened up with with the flood of tears she, herself, no longer shed.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them to herself.

The rain quickly soaked through the flimsy cardboard and drenched her. She pulled up the hood of her coat, but it was hardly much protection from the elements. It wasn't the first storm she'd weathered and she figured it was far from the last. She was shivering and soaking wet. She didn't care.

She thought over the past couple of months. The months that stretched on longer than any year she'd ever lived, could have.

She was aware of small groups. Groups that had formed to talk about the mysterious Doctor. He had been seen from time to time over the last few years. She tried investigating a couple of the groups. Most were full of people who had brief encounters with the Doctor or knew people who had.

Rose realized quickly that the groups were as much support groups as they were fan clubs. These were people who _needed_ to talk about their brilliant and troubling experiences.

She met a woman named Donna Noble who had quite a tale to tell. She said the Doctor kidnapped her on her wedding night. Rose spent a couple of hours with the woman, hearing her story. The Doctor, Donna told Rose, had been completely annoyed at Donna's appearance in his TARDIS. He hadn't been particularly kind to her. He'd ignored her questions, left her terrified as he dragged her along for an adventure she would have happily done without. He dumped her outside of the Thames after saving her. He hadn't even attempted to ease her heartbreak at losing her fiance, and at the betrayal she'd suffered. The Doctor simply ignored her pain and went through the motions of saving the world from the Racnoss. That wasn't the Doctor she knew. He could never ignore someone hurting like that.

When Rose pointed out that, that didn't sound like the Doctor at all, that he would have cared, Donna just shrugged and said that she was just a temp and it wasn't important anyway, but Rose thought it was very important.

That was just one of many similar stories. The Doctor swooped in or was unceremoniously dropped into situations where he went ahead and saved people, but then hurried on his way. He didn't stop, didn't pause for a moment to even get to know a single person he had met from what she could tell. That definitely wasn't like him.

When asked if he ever spoke of someone named Rose, Donna got a frightened look and said something about the Doctor having a violent tantrum of sorts when she asked him about a bag of women's clothes he had. But when pressed, Donna wouldn't say anything more on it. The terror and confusion in her eyes was enough to tell Rose that Donna, and many others like her, had been traumatized by their encounters with the Doctor.

Could this really be _her_ beloved Doctor about whom they spoke such terrible things?

Someone else mentioned the name Rose should never be spoken around the Doctor because it drove him mad. Rose tried to find out more about this, but anyone who seemed to know much about it also appeared too frightened to speak on the matter. None of these people had seen the Doctor in at least a couple of years.

After that, Rose had grown more despondent than ever. The Doctor she knew and loved was changed. He was out there somewhere, lost and alone and needed her, but she didn't think she could help him. How could she? She could barely manage herself. She didn't know if she could save him from himself. She couldn't even seem to save herself.

Perhaps that was when she allowed the numbness to overtake her. When she realized there was nothing more she could do. When grief overtook all else and hopelessness reigned in her heart.

Her lips were turning blue and her fingertips were tingling in the cold and rain. She had seen a woman die out in weather like this a couple of weeks back. She thought about laying down and curling up on her side. Maybe if she just went to sleep, she wouldn't ever have to wake again. The idea was tempting. She looked down at the puddle of rainwater she was sitting in. It would be so easy to give up. To give in.

She had tried finding Mickey. A few of his old friends told her that he was killed in a shipwreck while searching overseas for her. Just another brick in the layer of guilt she was abusing herself with.

She closed her eyes as a painful tremor ran through her. She cleared her mind and thought about the comfort of an eternal sleep. The solace of resting her head and no longer feeling the pain. The thought continued to appeal to her.

Every time she heard about some mysterious happening, the thought that the Doctor might not have been there or might have been there _wrong_, caused her to completely blame herself. Things like an entire hospital vanishing and turning up later only to find nearly everyone dead. A survivor said they'd been taken by aliens and to the moon. Most people dismissed his tales as hallucinations, but Rose believed every word. Whenever she heard about an invasion of Daleks or Cybermen or anything unexplainable that didn't seem well dealt with, she felt it dig deeper into her already broken heart until she was sure it was blackened and nearly dead.

Even the things that the Doctor never would have been there for in the first place, she believed she was fully at fault for. Every last one of them.

Lightening streaked above her and thunder crashed loudly, bringing her back to the moment.

Her hand reached out and touched the gravel of the hard ground beside her. She no longer noticed the rain still beating down upon her in spite of the storm's noise.

She had been out in the freezing storm a couple of hours now, settled under the metal stairs. It felt like only minutes.

All it would take was a nap. A nap and she wouldn't have to think anymore. She wouldn't have to feel anymore. Everything would be okay.

Rose ran her fingers across the rocky ground. While it scraped against her delicate skin, she continued to give in to these most dangerous thoughts.

It wasn't really the coward's way, was it? Purposefully starving to death or jumping off a building would be, but simply laying down to sleep, could that really count? She hardly had the fight left to argue with herself over it.

Her core body temperature was dropping dangerously low due to prolonged exposure and lack of nutrition, along with exhaustion. The drop was causing her to shiver uncontrollably now.

Her heart was slower than normal.

She felt nothing.

The more she called up images of the joys of being swept away in the nothingness of death, the easier it was to give in to them.

She began to lean toward the ground.

There was no reason worth going on for anymore.

She felt the cold puddle splash against her cheek as she laid her head down. Her ear and cheek became submerged, her nose just barely out of the puddle as she rested on the cold, hard, wet ground.

_Just a nap. Maybe I'll dream of him. _

She closed her eyes.

An image of the TARDIS crept into her mind. Where had that come from? The beautiful sounds of the TARDIS crashed into her ears. She smiled. It was a nice dream. To think she could hear him so close and yet knowing he was so very impossibly far away.

She tried to ignore it, but the sounds grew louder and louder until they drew her eyes open. She blinked at the fuzzy lights of far away streetlamps through the rain. It couldn't be, could it?

But it had to be.

The sound jolted her out of her stupor.

Then it stopped. But thoughts were now surging through her mind.

He was still out there. It wasn't just a dream. That was the TARDIS she'd heard. She would recognize that sound anywhere. He had to be close!

He was still wondering where she was, she remembered. She might never find him in her current state, but what if she could? What if knowing what had become of her was all he needed to let go of his own pain and become the hero she knew him to be? To become the man so many needed him to be?

She struggled and pushed with both hands on the ground, heaving herself upright again. It was too late for her. She'd lost everything, but if she could give him back _anything_, she had to stay alive. If she could live long enough to tell him she was sorry, it would be enough and she could let go finally and peacefully.

She had to find him. He was lost, alone, angry, scared, hurting. All because of her. She had to tell him how sorry she was. She had to tell him it wasn't his fault!

Rose ignored her numb and trembling limbs. She forced herself up onto her feet.

She grabbed at a piece of the under railing of the stairs to steady herself. She continued as tremors shook her so hard she had trouble staying upright.

"I-I-I'm coming Doctor." Her voice came out so meekly that no one could have heard her, least of all the Doctor. But she meant it.

She took several breaths and pushed herself away from the railing. She stumbled forward nearly landing on her face. She caught herself on the side of a rubbish bin. She clung to it. Her knees were weak, her legs didn't want to stay up. Her hands couldn't keep their hold.

Determined, Rose forced her legs to take small steps. It was all she could manage now. Through the dark and rain she swayed, grabbing onto walls and bins and cars she passed when she needed something to keep her from falling over.

_I have to save him!_

Every step was a fight. Each taking more effort than the last.

_He needs me!_

Her thoughts thrust her feet forward.

She went toward the direction of the sound she had heard only moments before. What if he left before she could get to him? Then she was sure she would have to go on long enough to track him down. She couldn't give up on him, not now. Now was the time to _fight_ for him.

Rose stopped at a car, clutching onto the side. That was when she saw it.

The TARDIS.

It stood on a street corner as bold as it ever could have been. She could practically _feel_ it calling to her.

She knew right away the TARDIS had to belong to the new Doctor she had met. It was a brighter blue than the TARDIS she knew so well, and it had small, round sticker on the door. This wasn't the Doctor she was expecting to find.

Had he died anyway? Had all of this come to pass only to have him die and end up alone all over again anyway?

Throwing her back against the car, she tried to regain some strength. She decided it didn't matter if he had died. It didn't matter if he had changed a dozen more times. He was alive, he was still the Doctor, and he needed her.

She glared at the blue box as the wind forced the rain to cascade sideways against her. She lifted herself up and pushed off the car, flinging herself with all her might toward the TARDIS.

Rose fell before the doors of the box she so desperately needed to get inside. She tried once, twice, three times to climb back to her feet, but failed. Each time her trembling legs collapsed beneath her.

Furiously, she dug at the ground with her fists, crawling her way to the police box.

She had already done so much wrong, she just couldn't get this wrong too. She would _not_ fail him.

Only when her head lightly bumped against the wooden door did she stop.

Rose reached up, her hand shaking so bad she could barely grasp for the door handle._ Please be unlocked, please be unlocked, please be unlocked! _Was her silent chant while she reached up for it.

Feeling a firm grip on the cool metal door handle, her strength and resolve was renewed. She dragged her body up off the ground and used the handle for support. When she was sure her feet would continue to support her, she shoved the door open, relieved to find it opening without resistance.

Rose staggered in.

She kept a hold of the door to keep herself upright. She looked up.

Her vision was murky at best. She thought she could make out at least two figures, but both were so blurred before her that she couldn't pick them out. Surely one of them had to be the only person she was here for.

She had come to help him. To explain. To tell him things weren't his fault. To ask for forgiveness.

But as she stood there on the edge of a darkness so deep it threatened to swallow her whole, her body failed her.

The world spun out of control as it dropped out from under her.

She couldn't let it have her. Not yet.

"D-D-Doc...Doctor, I'm s-sorry!" She sputtered at the figures that were swimming before her vision.

She could hear a voice, panicked and full of questions, but she hadn't the strength to comprehend what it was asking.

Rose felt the darkness finally capture her.

The last thing she was aware of was that the floor came rushing up to greet her.


	8. Pain and Perceptions

**Thanks for the lovely and wonderful reviews! :)**

**Please make my day and review!**

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><p>A warm thumb stroked across her pale, cool fingers. Only moments before her entire hand had been a startling bluish purple color. Frostbite had nearly claimed her fingertips. Her hand rested in the palm of his, his thumb making it's way across the cold, dry skin in a deliberate warming pattern.<p>

"Who is she?" A dark haired young woman spoke up from where she was leaning against the back of the railing surrounding the console. Alexa was her name. She noted that the Doctor had scarcely taken his eyes off of the blonde since she'd stumbled through the TARDIS door a half hour earlier.

The Doctor neglected the question as he mulled over the last thirty eight minutes. He knew the exact number because every second of it was permanently chiseled into his mind.

_"A whole planet of miniature giraffes?" Alexa's skepticism shown through as she eyed him. "Is that it?"_

_"That isn't all that's there, but isn't that enough?" He asked lightly._

_"I suppose so." She agreed, folding her arms. "But are there any people there?"_

_A knowing, smug look slid into place on his face. "So you can exploit them?"_

_She smirked. "Is there any other reason to bother with people, really?" She used them like tissue paper, soaking up whatever she could from them before disposing of them. She was hardly what one would consider a caring and compassionate being. Fact in point, this was entirely the reason the Doctor had her along. For one, he didn't need to worry about growing too attached to her, for another reason, he was hoping to show her enough of the universe to open her heart up a bit more to others. So far, he hadn't had much luck in that department.  
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_He was about to answer when the TARDIS door flew open and someone stumbled in. Through the blistering winds, the Doctor wondered with mild surprise at how they managed to even get to his TARDIS. That storm was very strong and not letting up any time soon. _

_Both he and Alexa turned toward the door. _

_He drew in a sharp breath and held it. The blonde haired woman who stood unsteadily clutching the TARDIS door, was all too familiar to him. _

_His hands balled up, his fingernails digging into his palms. _

Rose? She's alive? After all of this time, how is that even possible?

_His attentive eyes swiftly scanned over her frail figure. Her skin had never been so pale, her features gaunt, her lips blue and trembling as she looked like she was struggling to form words through them. Her eyes were unfocused, rolling around in a desperate attempt to find something with any clarity. The hands that clung to the door in a futile effort to keep her upright, were a deep blue-purple, the fingertips particularly darkening._

_In that moment, the Doctor didn't possess the ability to immediately react. He was too shocked to even continue breathing just yet. His pulses raced as he surveyed the damage to the young girl he cared so much for. _

_"D-D-Doc...Doctor, I'm s-sorry!" Rose's quivering voice very nearly brought the ancient Time Lord to his knees. To hear her in such agony was enough to finally get him breathing and propel him toward her._

_"Rose? What's happened to you? How did you get here? Where have you been?" He threw question upon question at the girl. But it was too late for all that. Even before he'd fully gotten her name out, he saw her eyes rolling back and her body slumping to the TARDIS floor._

_Alexa watched, intrigued and annoyed at the Doctor's reaction. "Doctor, what are you doing? Just make sure she's alive, then scoot her out the door so we can leave already!" She complained._

_Ignoring Alexa, the Doctor tossed himself at the floor and half-slid the rest of the distance to Rose. His hand reached out seeking her pulse. It was there. Weak, but there. He kicked the TARDIS door shut to block out the cold rain that was still battering her fragile body. _

_He grabbed her hands in his and rubbed them vigorously together then pulled them up to his mouth, blowing warm air onto them to stave off the frostbite that was threatening to claim her delicate fingers. _

_"Alexa, hit the orange switch. Do it. Now!" He yelled, making the dark haired beauty roll her eyes. She sighed and flipped the switch. She really didn't see what all the fuss was about. People suffered daily, and the Doctor didn't always intervene. She supposed they didn't all stumble into the TARDIS though. _

_After she flipped the switch, the temperature in the console room began to get unbearably hot to her and she frowned. This wasn't fun at all._

_The Doctor grabbed at Rose's shoes and pulled them off, then her socks. Next came her jacket, and then he started pulling off her shirt._

_Alexa laughed. "Doctor, if you wanna take a peek at her goods, that's alright by me, but don't you think you should try that on someone a little less close to death?" Her laughter died in her throat at the brief and sudden menacing glare he slung in her direction._

_"Get her some warm blankets. Up the stairs to the left, left, right, and circle round again." He demanded. "Do it, Alexa, no arguments!" _

_He was in a mood, Alexa noted. Not wanting to fight with him knowing what he was capable of, she trudged upstairs to fetch the items he requested. _

_"All this trouble for some blonde chick!" She muttered as she went up. _

_He went back to pulling Rose out of her clothing. The cold had soaked through them so thoroughly, he feared further damage and needed to get her out of the wet, freezing clothes. Off came her top, then her pants as he looked her over, not to 'take a peek' as Alexa had alluded to. He pulled out his sonic and scanned her with it to double check._

_How had this happened to her? From the looks of her, his mind conjured up all sorts of images. Her being locked away in a cage, hardly fed, barely kept alive. It would certainly explain her current condition. If someone actually hurt her like this, the Doctor wanted a chat with them. A chat that might very well end up with him hurtling them toward the nearest hungry beast.  
><em>

_He was stripping off her underwear as Alexa came back down and threw the blankets at him. He easily caught them and wrapped them around the thin, unconscious form that lay on the floor. He gathered her up into his arms and stood. _

_Alexa watched him with interest. She'd never actually seen him show this much concern over anyone before. _

_He carried her up toward the console. "Alexa, get that spare blanket, lay it out like a bed over here." He commanded. Alexa obeyed, but she was getting just about fed up with him ordering her around like this. _

_He clutched Rose to his chest as Alexa laid the blanket out and stood back. The Doctor gently settled Rose down on top of the make-shift bed, pulling off his spare overcoat to bundle up and slip under her head as a pillow. He made sure the other blanket was firmly covering her and sank down beside her, staring at her with a look Alexa couldn't understand._

_The color in Rose's hands was starting to return. Her lips were still a worrying blue. He bent over her and pressed his lips to hers. It looked like a kiss to Alexa, but to the Doctor it just seemed like the most logical solution to warming Rose's lips. _

_Arching an eyebrow, Alexa leaned back against the console, arms folded, watching this display. She could hardly believe the Doctor she knew was caressing this blonde's lips with his own! Since when did he ever show the slightest bit of romantic interest in anyone? If going out and nearly freezing to death was the only way to get a willing kiss from him, Alexa wouldn't go through the trouble of all that.  
><em>

_Only when Rose's lips began to turn pink again, did the Doctor pull back and sit up. _

_As many questions as Alexa had, the Doctor had five times as many. He was contemplating them as he took Rose's hand in his and did his best to warm it. It was still far too cold to the touch. _

"Well?" Alexa prodded, dragging the Doctor out of his thoughts.

He glanced up at her. What could he say? "She's Rose."

"Yeah, got that. I mean what is she to _you_? You're all over her. Got a thing for this girl, Doc?"

The Doctor's attention was back on Rose, his thumb still stroking across her slowly warming fingers. He was feeling only slightly relieved that the color had returned to them and her pulse had stabilized.

"Alexa, do you remember when I told you there was once a day when everything fell apart?" He asked her evenly.

Alexa shook her bangs from her eyes. "You're always such a drama queen, can't you just spill it already?" She huffed.

He took his eyes from Rose long enough to give Alexa a pitying look. She really didn't care for it. "She's the reason you exist at all, Alexa." With that he turned back to Rose.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She demanded.

"You would have died if I hadn't been there." He pointed out, not looking back up.

"So what?"

"So everything." He murmured. "I wasn't meant to be there. You were meant to die."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Alex almost sounded scared, but also slightly angry.

"Not at all. It's only a fact. You should be grateful to her. She's given up a lot for you and others like you."

The Doctor knew there was no way he would have ever found Alexa and saved her from the Cybermen had Rose not disappeared. He would never have even been anywhere near Canada, where Alexa was when he found her. Although he couldn't know what the alternate time line truly held and would have been, he could see enough of time and space to know that Alexa was supposed to be dead.

The Doctor gently lifted Rose's eyelids to check her pupils before lowering them again. He tucked her hand under the blanket and ran his fingers gingerly through her damp hair.

Alexa decided she hated this side of the Doctor. She'd never seen it before, and she didn't like it. She couldn't stand this tender, quiet man who acted with thought and reason! What happened to the wild man who didn't pause, who made entire species tremble? Here he was, catering to some sickly street girl.

Admittedly, she was jealous. Even when she'd been injured, the most she ever got from the Doctor was a warning to be more careful. And here he was fawning all over this Rose girl! He'd even kissed her! What was up with that?

She chose to do something about this troubling turn of events. "Doctor?" She asked, taking on a meager tone. She stood up and let her hands drop to her hips.

Looking up at the sudden change in Alexa's tone, the Doctor gave her a questioning look.

"I need to see you about something important." She beckoned him over with a finger.

He looked back down at Rose sprawled out helplessly before him. He carefully disentangled his fingers from her hair and hopped up. It was rare that Alexa spoke so softly so he figured something must be wrong.

He walked over to her next to the console. "What is it?" He asked, tilting his head at her.

"Well, Doctor..." She slid a hand onto his shoulder. He just waited. "I _am_ grateful to you for saving my life. You're amazing, you know."

His brow furrowed. What was this about?

She pulled him around so he was facing her and away from Rose. She noticed the blonde on the floor. Her head moved slightly. She was waking up.

Alexa knew she would have to move quickly. If it was affection the Doctor wanted, she could give him that. "Do you ever think about who your dream girl really is?"

Rose was aware of voices. She focused in on them while she tried to remember what had happened. She forced her eyes opened, blinking a few times. She turned her head to the sounds of people. She felt so exhausted, but warm!

The Doctor blinked at Alexa. "My dream girl?" He asked mildly, confused.

"Yeah." Alexa giggled and leaned in, aggressively kissing him before he could protest. She was pushing him into the console.

_His dream girl?_ Rose spotted the Doctor wearing a tuxedo and top hat. He was currently lip-locked with a dark haired girl she didn't recognize. The woman had her hand on his shoulder, the other on his hip. They looked...Intimate.

She'd pulled herself back from the edge of death for him. And here he was, very much so enjoying the company of someone else, perfectly happy from the looks of things, and ignoring her even though she knew she must have been in bad shape.

This entire time, she thought he needed her. She thought he was alone, upset, hurting, wanting her back in his life. But clearly, he didn't need her at all. He was perfectly fine no matter what happened to him. She felt stupid. For some reason she'd always thought she meant more to him than that. She was nothing more than just another passing friend he could easily forget about.

That was why she was laying on a cold floor while he was kissing some girl and completely ignoring that she was even alive. Hadn't he been even a little worried about her all of these years? She supposed too much time had passed. He'd moved on and forgotten her. He no longer cared.

Tears sprung to her eyes. She sat up, feeling woozy. The blanket fell down to her waist and the cooler air hit her chest. She shivered and realized she was naked. She flushed and grabbed shakily at the blanket to keep it up around herself while she climbed to her feet.

The two were so close and kissing. She felt like she was intruding on his life. He didn't need her. He didn't want her. She was just in the way here.

She felt the intense need to get away. To run.

Still a bit off balance, weak, and not feeling very well, she stumbled for the door.

Hearing the soft footfalls of her bare feet on the TARDIS floor, the Doctor pulled out of the kiss and looked over.

"Rose..." He'd been alert for any sounds from Rose and thrown off by Alexa's kiss, but he didn't miss that Rose was moving, and at a fairly fast pace considering her weakened condition.

Mortified at seeing her heading for the door, he ran after her, leaving Alexa's arms empty and her lips cold.

She frowned in a pout. Up to this point in their travels, she'd been his only companion, but now it seemed she had some competition.

Hearing the Doctor's voice calling out to her, speaking her name, was too much for Rose. She made her legs move faster. They could barely carry her the distance to the door, but she made it on sheer will power.

She jerked it open and tumbled out into the dark, cold storm once more.


	9. Cold Comfort

**A very special thanks to AlternativeParadise for creating a brilliant piece of fan art inspired by this fan fiction. You can view the art and others of her creation by going to the link in my profile page, or in her profile page.**

**I'm sorry for the _super_ long wait between chapters. Sometimes I do that. But I always finish what I start! **

**Thank you all for the wonderful and awe-inspiring reviews! You really make my days! You have no idea!**

**I can't quite recall, but I think someone was confused about a couple of things. For Rose the story is taking place in season 2, just before Tooth and Claw. She may seem off-character from herself because she is going through alternative experiences. The Doctor who started out as the Tenth in this story, is the current Eleventh, and has had different experiences to the original Eleventh even though his current time line is current to the original Eleventh's in the story, so that is why he may seem off-character as well. For him, years have passed since Rose vanished. For Rose, it's only been months since she made her choice and changed everything. It's only now that their time lines have finally met up. **

**Yes, Alexa is meant to be like that! :P**

**Please Review! **

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><p>Rose had never gotten a deliberate answer from the Doctor on their particular relationship, but she always assumed she meant <em>something<em> to him.

She needed to get away from them. From the Doctor and his 'dream girl'.

It wasn't just that she found him in the arms of another, although that did sting, but it was his complete lack of needing her that had her hobbling through the streets as quickly as her exhausted legs would take her.

Did he not notice that things were not as they should be? Perhaps he just thought that this was the way things were meant to be. He couldn't know she'd disrupted his future so effectively.

Now she feared telling him.

He already cared a great deal for someone else, apparently, so what would stop him from hating her completely if she were to confess what she'd done?

Filled with multiple conflicting feelings, Rose was too worn out to know what to do. In ordinary circumstances, she would have stayed, confronted the pair of them, and had a few words for each of them if she didn't like their answers. But her body and mind were in desperate need of rest and nourishment. She wasn't thinking completely right, and therefore, she was not able to react in her normally strong and determined fashion.

Breaking into a quiet sob, Rose ignored the sting of the scrapes she was creating on the bottom of her feet as she tried running from the TARDIS. She hadn't made it very far so far as she could tell, but that didn't stop her trying.

The nightmare she pictured in her mind included the Doctor reminding her that it was her own fault that her mother was dead. That it was her own fault she was no longer in his life. That it was her own fault he was in love with some girl she'd never laid eyes on before. She could see him throwing her out of the TARDIS again, only this time for good, and leaving her on the streets alone. Why give him that opportunity? Running away hurt less than rejection. This way she could always imagine that he wouldn't. But if she stayed and got ejected from his life, she could never deny it happened.

Since first seeing the TARDIS in the storm, her desire to live had a small spark of hope. That she could live to give him hope and comfort and help him change his future, were the only things she could really see holding onto. But those were shattered with a kiss. A kiss between him and a girl Rose thought was very beautiful.

It _hurt_. He loved someone. And that someone was someone _else_. It hurt worse than that though. As if that wasn't enough. He had gone on with his life, his existence, and his happiness, all while believing she was hurt, dead, or otherwise in trouble. He hadn't been wounded by her absence the way she was sure he would be. He didn't look the slightest bit bruised by her turmoil. He was even wearing an outfit that she thought might be his very own wedding tuxedo! Had he married that dark haired girl? Why else would he be dressed up so sharply like that and not simply wearing his custom bow tie and tweed?

Thinking on it, Rose felt guilty for her thoughts and feelings. She was mad with herself. She knew she was feeling jealousy, envy, and felt selfish for feeling such things. She really was relieved that he was okay. Had she found him devastated and a mess, she would have only felt more guilt for having hurt him so terribly. He was a wonderful man and deserved happiness. And while on a logical level, she truly believed this and in her heart she was happy and relieved he was safe and okay, it didn't ease the bite of seeing him enraptured by some mysterious girl and going on as though she never existed.

Thunder roared above, lightening streaking an otherwise black sky. Only a couple of nearby dim street lamps cast lights and shadows about the area.

Rose wished she hadn't ever climbed out from under that staircase.

"I should've just died!" She lamented, still hobbling away.

"Never!" A nearby voice replied, startling her. With the wind throwing the rain at her like sharp needles against her numb skin, she couldn't tell from which direction the voice came.

Suddenly, warm arms were wrapping around her from behind, pulling her backwards. She felt his chest to her back as he fell back, breaking her fall with his own. He landed with her in his lap, his top hat falling to the wet ground and rolling back and forth in the wind. She tried to push away, but he wouldn't let go of her.

"Rose," The Doctor leaned forward, his chin hovering above her shoulder. "You've got to _stop_ this!" He had been given a whole minute and a half to ponder out why exactly it was that Rose was trying to get away from him. He was now confident he knew what the problem was.

She struggled to break free, not answering him. He moved his legs around and over hers, further hampering her chances of escape.

"Rose! It's me. I'm the Doctor! I know I look differently, but remember, I do that sometimes!" He was out of breath in their tussle as he tried to hang onto her. "I changed, but I'm still me, I promise!"

She knew that already, but he couldn't remember that. Although he looked identical to the bow tie wearing version of him she had met, this was_ her _Doctor. This was the Doctor she had abandoned. This was the Doctor she had left in order to be in his future. Somehow, he'd died anyway and became the man he was meant to be, yet not quite. He wasn't with that Rory guy or with that Amy he'd mentioned, unless that dark haired girl _was_ Amy. If she was, she was definitely kissing the wrong man!

Maybe that was what was wrong! Rose grasped for the slight chance that if that were the case, then maybe things were going along as they were meant to, but not quite and that if she told the Doctor the truth, everything would be fixed and Amy would go be with Rory.

She stopped struggling. The Doctor sighed in relief, loosening his grip on her. She wasn't interested in discussing his face changes. She had only one thing to ask him now.

"Was that Amy?"

She turned her head and caught the crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes as he tried to fathom what she could possibly be talking about.

"Whose Amy?" He finally asked.

That was all Rose needed to hear. So the dark haired girl wasn't Amy. She definitely wasn't Rory or that blue man, so_ everything _had completely changed. Yet, the Doctor didn't look upset. He didn't look scarred or damaged. He was still trying to help people. He was still traveling.

Why had she been so stupid as to think his entire world would crumble if she weren't in it?

He'd gone on about changes, but perhaps he only meant changes to her own life that mattered.

"I know who you are, Doctor." Rose's entire body was limp against him, apart from the non-stop tremor that ran through her at the chill. The Doctor's arms remained around her and the blanket. He was unwilling to let go completely for fear she might take off on him again.

"Then why did you run away from me in the TARDIS?" His question was reasonable enough, but it was hardly something that Rose felt she could explain properly. How could she tell him the truth? Of the tremendous effort it took her to find him? Of all the pain she was in? Of awakening to him and that woman kissing as if they were the only two people in the world and as if Rose hadn't just tumbled back into his life? It was all completely her fault. There was no way she could ever say any of this to him for that reason, if no other.

"I..." A more violent tremor ran through her and the Doctor's arms locked more securely around her, hugging her against him to ward off the cold from her as best he could. The wind blew her hair across his face and he drew his head forward, settling it against the side of her face. In any other circumstance, were they to be spotted, it looked like he was trying to cuddle with her. He was trying to keep her as warm as possible. There was no way he would let her go. Not after he only just got her back! He needed to make sure she was safe and well. He needed to find out what had happened to her. He needed to...He needed _her_.

Rose felt the arms tightening around her stomach and upper arms. She clutched at the blanket around her with one shaking hand. The other, she brought up and rested it on one of the soft, warm arms that embraced her. His skin felt so warm compared to hers and the ice cold wind, rain and the mixture of sleet that now cut into her numbed skin like small blades. The pain was a welcome reminder that she was still living and breathing.

When near-toasty soft skin pressed itself against her cheek, she closed her eyes. His skin was actually cold, he was cold, but to her freezing body, he felt like a fire in the middle of a terrible blizzard. The calm eye of a storm that she could hide herself within. This moment was one Rose intensely wished she could freeze time for. To stay with him here, even with the biting cold swallowing them.

But time wasn't frozen and the illusion of the moment wasn't lost on her. She knew he wasn't holding her because he loved her or wanted her or even that he particularly liked being around her anymore. He did it because it was in his nature to help people and he felt obligated. This, she was positive of. She didn't want to move. She didn't want to break the fantasy of this feeling of being in his arms.

But she reminded herself why she stayed alive. To tell him the truth. He deserved the truth.

She reluctantly pried her eyes open.

"Doctor, I have to tell you something." He felt her meekly push on his arms. There was no way she could physically remove him from around her if he didn't wish to be removed, even if she hadn't been in such a frail condition.

"Please..." The quiet pleading in her voice appeared to do the trick. The Doctor released his hold on her. His ankles moved from hers and his arms loosened enough for her to move out of them.

With some serious effort, she pushed herself off of him and tugged the blanket carefully so as to keep herself covered. Now more so from the cold than from any modesty on her part. She turned slowly to face him, on her knees now before him. He still sat there, a troubled look on his face. A look she knew all too well. She was worrying him. That was the last thing he needed, she thought. All she managed to do was cause him trouble anymore.

The rain mixed with the tears on her face, making them indistinguishable save for the puffiness of her eyes. But that didn't concern the Doctor nearly as much as the fact her lips were turning blue again and she was shaking once more. She needed to get in out of this cold.

"Tell me later, we've got to you back to the TARDIS now." He climbed to his feet and held his hand out to her. She looked from his hand to his face. His eyes were on hers. She slowly took the offered hand and let him help her up. He kept a hold of her arm and hand, intending to help her, but she pulled back and away, breaking free of his grasp.

"Doctor, you've got to listen to me." She clung to the blanket, her trembling becoming non-stop again as she faced him. She was determined to tell him the truth. To tell him how she'd destroyed his future. And hers. And probably millions of other peoples'.

His eyes trailed over her. "_Am_ listening, also seeing." He reached out and grabbed her hand again, holding it up for her to see. In the next flash of lightning, it outlined the bluish fingertips that didn't look healthy at all.

"Back to the TARDIS first." He insisted.

She tugged her hand away and attempted a glare that looked more like a pained look. This was hard enough without him putting excess pressure on her! She didn't much care that her hands were freezing and blue and numb. She was about to tell him something that would make him hate her forever!

"I don't want to interrupt you and your...Friend." She threw the words out there a bit more harshly than she had meant to.

"Friend? Do you mean Alexa? You're not interrupting anything, don't be ridiculous, Rose." He again reached out to take her hand.

She stepped back. "I did. I woke up while the two of you were..._Busy_." She was better able to not have it come out as an accusation this time.

The Doctor blinked at this. "What? Oh you mean the kissing!" He exclaimed. "That. Well, yes, she kissed me." At the look Rose gave him, he went on. "I did kiss her back. That is how that works, I think." He stated, looking slightly away as he thought about it. Wasn't that the custom of humans? To accept their kisses because it would be considered impolite to completely reject them? He wasn't all together certain about every of Earth and human customs, but he'd been certain about this one. Had he gotten it wrong? If he had, he hadn't gotten any complaints so far.

Rose took his far away look to mean he was daydreaming about that kiss, which only upset her all the more.

"Fine. Let's go." Rose turned away from him and started stalking off in the wrong direction, disoriented, aching, scared, and completely overwhelmed.

"Tyler!" His voice rose sharply. "_Stop right there_!" She stopped at his abrupt, authoritative tone, but didn't turn around.

The Doctor calmed, seeing that she had halted. She stood there, he could see her trembling violently. A few more minutes out here and hypothermia would claim her. Why was she_ trying _to get herself killed?

When he reached her, he didn't give her time to protest. He took hold of her and pulled her tightly against him, using his body heat to try to keep her warm. He wouldn't be letting go this time. Not until they were back on the TARDIS. He kept an arm wrapped around her as he started moving. It would have taken an army to pry it loose, and even then, they'd probably need backup.

The main problem, he could see, was that she was deprived of much primal materials humans needed in order to survive. Food, shelter and rest being the top things she was lacking. Her emotional state, however, was extremely troubling to the Doctor. It would have to be dealt with. Her body was in a frail state, but her mind was equally fragile now.

He needed to know what had happened to her. She looked older, but not _years_ older. So how was that possible? Where had she gone and why had she insisted on going in the first place? He had gone over it so many times over the years, that he was no longer certain of anything. His best guess was that one of his enemies or an unknown alien race had forced her into it. Maybe they had threatened her. Maybe she was afraid they would hurt him and sacrificed herself for him. He felt sick every time he thought of that.

How sad she'd been, the tears falling, when he watched her leave that day. If only he could have known she would vanish into thin air, literally. He would have stopped her. He would have done everything in his power to protect her from whatever had happened to her. But it was too late. All he could do now was try to help her cope with the aftermath.

"Come with me." He spoke softly, but firmly. He pulled her gently along with him as he turned and headed in the other direction. At the moment, all he wanted was to get her back to the warmth and safety of the TARDIS.

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><p><em><strong>Next Chapter: Alexa turns the heat up in more ways than one, a still very ill Rose sees some things she wishes she could un-see, and the Doctor makes a very bad decision. <strong>_


	10. Heating Up

**Thanks to you wonderful supporters for all of your encouraging reviews! Also your patience with my chronic procrastination. They should declare it a disorder! I haven't forgotten my stories or that people are waiting. I never do.**

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><p>Back in the TARDIS, Alexa had kicked Rose's wet clothes into a pile in a corner and rolled up the blankets, throwing them off to the side. It was boiling hot inside the TARDIS. She tried to adjust the temperature but every time she pushed the orange button, it only seemed to increase it.<p>

The longer the Doctor took, the more frustrated she became. Did he not realize she could give him anything that blonde could? He wanted adventure, she'd proven she could handle any situation he threw at her. She was stronger than that weak, pathetic creature he'd run after! He wanted kisses, she was well equipped to give them. She knew he was a bit of a goody-goody, but that didn't matter too much. She was willing to put up with that since he had his very own time and space machine. No other man she ever met could boast anything quite so elaborate!

Rose had already appeared to have won the Doctor over without even trying. She'd earned it long before Alexa came along. The fear that the Doctor would quickly abandon her as many others had, just to be with Rose, was growing by dangerous leaps and bounds.

Alexa knew she couldn't compete in the goody-goody department, which she feared that Rose could. She couldn't win him over with a shared history or playing the damsel in distress. Although, if she could have, she would have. What she did have, was sex. It had rarely let her down in the past. It was the one thing she'd found men fell for quite easily.

Alexa was once a victim. That is how predators are made. Not all victims become predators, of course. But with the possible exception of head injuries and degenerative brain diseases, all predators were once victims. This does not make them any less accountable for their actions once they cross that line, become adults, and refuse to change their behaviors. Accountability escaped Alexa's reasoning entirely.

She refused changes. She crossed a line and stepped over into being a user instead of being used. That is a line that stamped a coldness into her heart that even someone as caring as the Doctor was unlikely to be able to penetrate.

Alexa preferred using others and getting what she wanted, whatever it took. Rather than learn better ways of coping and living, she kept on with the ones she was comfortable with. Sex being fairly close to the top of those things.

She unbuttoned the top few buttons on her cherry red blouse to show off some cleavage for when he returned. She'd never thought to approach him from a sexual angle simply because he hadn't struck her as the sort to be interested. The first time they'd met, he had poked her nose and patted her head like she was a four year old. So she'd assumed he was a hands off kind of guy. Until he had his hands and other parts of himself all over that blonde!

That meant all bets were off.

She rifled through her things up in the wardrobe and pulled on a mini-skirt, ditching the jeans. She put on a dark pair of heels, leaving the sneakers off. The blouse was good as it was now that she'd unbuttoned it. She pulled her hair down from a ponytail and brushed it out, making it look softer.

She was ready for him now.

She could tell he hadn't been into the kiss, but he hadn't exactly _not_ kissed her back, so that had to mean something, didn't it?

Alexa heard noises and quickly rushed back down, placing herself against the railing once more. Only this time she leaned back, tossing her hair back as well, and stuck her lips out in what she hoped was a naturally seductive looking pout.

The Doctor lead Rose back inside, quickly closing the door behind them. He grabbed one of the blankets and allowed her some privacy behind it so she could drop out of the wet blanket and pull the nice, clean, dry one around herself.

Rose sank down onto the floor again, exhausted. She spied Alexa and her very hot look, and tried not to burst into fresh tears. She really didn't want to be here, watching them get it on. Too much had happened. Sure, she would have been jealous in the past as well, but she would have handled it better than this. She'd lost too much now.

The Doctor used his sonic once more to look her over, reading the results with a frown. The heat would warm her up fast enough, but there were other health issues to address here.

"Rose, when was the last time you ate anything?" He asked, watching her.

"Don't know. Earlier." She mumbled tiredly, rubbing her head.

"By earlier, you mean two or more days earlier, don't you." He wasn't really asking her. He could tell. It had been far too long and far too little. He glanced over at Alexa.

_So, he finally bothers to notice I'm still alive over here!_ She thought resentfully.

She gave him her best, sexy smile. The temperature in the room was so high, her cheeks and chest were flushed, and glistening slightly, which only added to the sexy image she was trying to portray.

"Alexa, can you run out to the nearest open shop and get her some food?" If the Doctor noticed she'd changed clothes or her current attempt at seduction, he didn't acknowledge either. He grabbed an old toolbox and pulled some money from it. He then stepped over to her to hand her a handful of cash. Far too much for a few groceries. Not that she'd bother to return any of it.

The smile slipped. "What am I, your maid or something?" Sex appeal, she may have had, but charm was something she lacked immensely.

"No, of course not! You're Alexa. And you're going to run and fetch her something to eat because we don't let people die of starvation in the TARDIS." He informed her.

They were close now, heads leaning toward one another. They were close enough to Rose so that she could see them, but far enough away so that she couldn't hear what they were saying to one another. She could just imagine the conversation would only make her feel worse.

The Doctor flapped the sides of his jackets up, allowing a bit of air underneath. It was rather hot in here. She hadn't turned down the temperature on the controls, he realized. He decided not to touch them until Rose was well warmed up.

Alexa casually leaned forward, revealing her bra as she slipped the bills into it. "No pockets. Do you think this is a safe enough place to hide money, Doctor?" She asked, practically pushing her breasts at him.

She couldn't have been more obvious were she to strip herself naked and declare herself his for the taking.

Rose tried not to stare. Why was he looking at that girl, Alexa's, chest? She couldn't see that she'd tucked money in there. All she could see were the Doctor's eyes dipping down with a look of interest on his face.

His eyebrows rose as he eyed where she tucked the money. "Uh...That's..." He stammered. "Well, certainly a place I wouldn't think to look for it." He concluded, pulling his eyes up to hers. He smiled politely.

Rose thought his smile looked strained, as if he were trying to not drool over her. It was painful to watch. As was the way he wiped sweat from his brow. Rose's core body temperature was still slightly low and she couldn't tell that the temperature inside the TARDIS was far too high. She thought the pair of them were just both getting quite worked up.

He was looking at that dark haired girl and Rose hated that she couldn't tell what he was thinking. She never could.

"Now, be sure to get her something filling. Something with plenty of protein. Also, she likes chips." He added the last part softly.

Alexa tried not to frown. A frown wouldn't be sexy at all.

"Fine, Doctor." She plastered on a wide smile. "If you don't mind my going out in that storm and getting soaking wet, possibly freezing to death too, and maybe even falling and breaking my neck." She pointed to her heels. "Then I'll go get her some food." She agreed with a nod.

He glanced down at her heels, his eyes skimming over her to appraise her current outerwear. "Why are you even dressed like that?" He questioned. There was something he was missing about Alexa, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

_Why is he looking her up and down like that? He must like what he's seeing..._ Rose self consciously tugged the blanket tighter around herself. The way the Doctor's eyes had trailed over the girl's body made her feel sick.

"A girl is entitled to wear whatever suits the occasion, isn't she?"

"What occasion would that be?"

"Do I have to have a special reason? Can't I just dress how I want to dress?"

The Doctor certainly wasn't about to argue fashion with her. "You could always throw a coat on over that?" He suggested.

Sticking her bottom lip out further, her eyes opened wider, almost doe-eyed. "But I don't know this place and might get lost trying to find a shop. What if I lose my way and end up out there, alone, with just a coat to keep me warm for hours while you try to find me?" The Doctor didn't look as if he was too concerned about that. She'd shown herself to be tough, rough even, and capable of handling some very pressurized situations in the past. She couldn't pull off little miss dainty and afraid now. He wasn't buying it.

Alexa decided to switch tactics. "If I can't find a shop fast enough, she might pass out or something from lack of food."

The Doctor's eyes clouded, then cleared as he mulled that one over and made a decision in the same instant. "Okay, I'll just have to get the food myself. But you need to stay here and look after her while I'm gone." He wagged a finger in her face. "Promise me." He demanded. "You'll be nice." He didn't feel very positive about leaving Rose alone with Alexa. It was the main reason he'd planned on sending Alexa out for food and not go himself. But he was too preoccupied with Rose to really give much worry about Alexa. And right now, Rose needed food.

"She's a friend of yours, so I'll be nice, Doctor." Alexa promised, batting her eyes at him. Already she was imagining all the ways she could quietly destroy the competition while he was gone.

He paused, leaning in even closer.

Is he going to kiss her? Rose tensed up, at least her trembling had lessened to a degree, and the pink was coming back to her skin. But watching this was far worse than facing a slow death. It was a sort of death in it's own right.

He peered deeply into Alexa's eyes. She smiled brighter as she batted her eyelashes heavily at him.

"Is something the matter with your eyes?" He asked, gazing in one eye than the other.

Her smile dimmed. "No, they're fine." She sighed. _What's it going to take to get him to notice me!_

He nodded dismissively, then dug around in his toolbox for more money to buy some food for Rose. He didn't want to ask Alexa for the money he'd given to her, for fear she would go rooting around in her bra right in front of him again. While he was no stranger to the female anatomy, he'd been getting an uncomfortable feeling from Alexa ever since Rose tumbled into the TARDIS.

"Okay. I'll be back soon." He smiled again and stepped over to Rose who was watching them with a blank expression.

He bent down in front of her. "I'll be right back. Just going out for a bit of food. Don't listen to a thing she says." He gestured toward Alexa. But he said it in such a way that Rose wasn't sure if he was joking or not. He reached out and affectionately slid a hand down the side of her head and cheek, as though reassuring himself that she was safe, here, and real. He stood up and headed out.

The TARDIS door slid shut behind him, leaving Alex and Rose alone together.

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><p><strong>This is a shorter chapter than I would have liked. I was going to make it longer and include some of the things I have for the next chapter, but I didn't have a good cut off point to segue into another chapter from any other spot. <strong>

**Up Next: Well, you'll just have to wait and see this time. ;)**


	11. Retribution

**Thank you very much, all of you, for the encouragement, thoughts, and ideas. I much appreciate them all. They even help get me excited about writing upcoming chapters! I also am sorry for the long wait, as always! Chronic lateness is my middle name. Or should be. Hopefully, I've somewhat made it up to you by creating a longer chapter here, and one with some interesting happenings. **

**As for why I brought Alexa in. The simple answer is that I wanted to. I wanted an antagonist to stir things up in an already dramatic moment and cause both Rose and the Doctor to have to think and feel outside of their comfort zones. It made it easier to explore (okay, exploit) this angle. If I had made it _all_ a completely happy, fluffy, lovey-dovey reunion with nothing upsetting at all, this would have been a fluff story, not an angst-based one.**

**Again, thanks for the feedback! **

**Please be kind and review. :)**

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><p>Alexa turned her too bright smile on Rose. "He was kidding." <em>He really wasn't.<em> "He likes to joke like that." She laughed. Rose looked skeptical.

"So, how do you know the Doctor?" Alexa asked, knowing nothing about her other than her name and the fact that the Doctor was fascinated by whoever she was.

"He never mentioned me?" Rose asked quietly.

"No. Never." Alexa said honestly. She enjoyed the way Rose didn't seem to like that at all.

"I'm Rose. Rose Tyler. I...Used to travel with the Doctor. Like you do now?" She looked up at her.

"Yeah. I'm Alexa." She wasn't very big on making nice with people, and Rose was no exception. But she could be semi-polite when it called for it.

"You and the Doctor...You seem..." Rose struggled to find the right word. "Close." She said, shifting her position slightly.

There it was. An opening. Alexa could see Rose was uncomfortable with the idea of her being close to the Doctor, so she played right into that weakness.

"You're right about that! He and I are as close as two people can get. We share _everything_. Oh, the things we've done!" She was smiling and looking away as if recalling the most thrilling of memories.

"He did seem...Very...Happy to be near you." Rose said softly.

"You think so?" Another bright smile from Alexa. "He does have trouble keeping his hands to himself when he's around me." She lied. It wasn't like the Doctor was here to stop her and she doubted this Rose girl would have the nerve to mention any of this to him.

Rose looked down. "Yeah..." Why was it when she was traveling with him, she felt he didn't look at her twice that way, yet here he was with Alexa, looking and touching and kissing? She tried not to think about it.

Even if Alexa was somehow the Doctor's love, it didn't mean he didn't care about her. He had come after her, hadn't he? She consoled herself with that.

He could just as easily have left her out in the cold to die. But he didn't. Though it wasn't in his nature to leave anybody to die like that. When she told him what she'd done, what would he think? She was terrified that he would truly hate her.

She would live with him loving someone else. It looked like she would have to. But she couldn't live with him hating her.

"You live around here?" Alexa asked. She was checking out her own nails to see their condition. They were polished with gloss and looked manicured.

How anyone could keep up with the Doctor and still have time for that sort of frivolous care taking was a mystery to Rose. No companion who pulled her own weight would ever keep nails and makeup looking _that_ put together and still be able to run with the Doctor.

Seeing such perfectly groomed fingernails on the other girl, Rose tugged her hand free of the blanket and tucked it out of view beneath it. Her own fingernails were chewed down to the quick. They were ragged and dull. Her hair was a mess. She was far too thin, and she didn't even have any decent clothes now.

"Yeah, just outside here." She spoke in a defeated voice.

"You should get on home soon then, your family is probably missing you. Or is there some place we can drop you before we leave?" Alexa asked bluntly.

Rose frowned. "No. I can go on my own." She confirmed resolutely. "I'm only here to tell the Doctor something and because he insisted I stay."

Alexa's smile was back. "He's such a softie for the poor and sickly. You look like you've seen better days."

For the first time, Rose noticed something. Alexa was pretty damned rude.

As terrible as Rose felt both physically and emotionally, Alexa's words sparked something in her.

"Yeah, well, I'm not poor and I'm not sickly. I'm just having a hard time is all, but I'll pull out of it." She defended herself, surprised at her own strength considering everything.

It was one thing if this girl had a relationship with the Doctor, it was quite another if she was going to be insulting.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it." Alexa quickly back tracked as she slowly circled around Rose, looking literally down at her. "It's just traveling with the Doctor has opened my eyes to things. I've seen people worse off than you, but," She sighed, as though it was painful for her to say such things. "And I'm not telling you this to be mean, but only to let you know...You look pretty bad, Rose. Like a walking corpse."

Rose felt a flash of heat across her face. "Excuse me?" She was about to go off on her. She was feeling something she hadn't felt in a long time. She was angry. She stared up at the girl who kept slowly circling her like some kind of vulture.

Alexa smiled condescendingly, but meant for it to look sympathetic. She failed. "Really, I can see why the Doctor is so concerned. He did mention something about you looking just horrendous." Lies were always fun to Alexa. She'd heard the Doctor lie before so she felt justified.

Rose paused. "He did?"

"Well, I'm sure he didn't mean for you to hear about it, but this is just between us girls. You know how men are. They can be shallow about appearances. So when someone looks particularly...Unhealthy, they're not very appealing to them."

She stopped in front of Rose, still staring down at her. "After we last kissed, he mentioned a few things. He said he was disgusted. He kind of wanted you to leave the second you're not near death, but like I said, he's a softie. He did say, and I'm being kind here, but you, um, probably should get a good soak in a bath."

Narrowing her eyes, Rose glared up at her. She was going too far. No matter what else happened, Rose knew the Doctor too well to believe he would ever say such awful things like that about her behind her back. If anything, he was more likely to tell her right to her face that he was disgusted and that she smelled. Which she didn't!

"The Doctor wouldn't talk like that. You're lying." She accused thinly.

Alexa shrugged, all pretenses vanishing. She knew mentioning that kiss would get to Rose, but hadn't expected her to be anything but a pathetic weakling who broke when she bluntly told her such mean things about herself. She was very surprised to find the blonde she thought was such a weakling, might be stronger than she first suspected. She was annoyed that she hadn't been able to manipulate Rose as easily as she thought she could, and this threw her off.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Alexa snapped. "I'm only trying to help you. The Doctor did ask me to look after you while he stepped out. But if you're not into bathing, I can see why he abandoned you. Maybe if we dumped you into a septic tank you'd smell a little nicer." She spat the words out viciously.

That did it.

"Oh yeah?" Rose reached out and grabbed the circling Alexa by an ankle. She pulled with all her weight behind it.

Caught off guard, Alexa fell backwards, landing hard.

"Ow!"

"Right well deserved 'ow' too!" Rose muttered, getting even more of her fire back.

This Alexa wasn't all that she seemed. She may have been beautiful on the outside, but inside she was disgustingly ugly.

Alexa crawled forward on her hands and knees and reached out as if to slap Rose. It took some energy, but Rose grabbed her wrist mid-slap and twisted it backwards making Alexa cringe. Rose's own hands were shaking with the effort. But she had survived wars and invasions and losing all that she loved. She wasn't about to let a girl like this get the better of her. "You try it, and it'll be the last one you ever get in." Rose threatened.

Alexa yanked her arm away and rocked back. She wasn't the physical fighter sort of person unless there was a weapon handy. She was great with knives and guns, but the Doctor hadn't let her keep anything like that on the TARDIS.

She got up and started to work on fixing her outfit and putting her hair back into place.

"You're an animal!" She muttered to Rose. "No wonder he left you in the first place."

"He didn't leave me!" Rose exclaimed. She shakily climbed to her feet. The blanket stayed wrapped around her.

"No? Could have fooled me. He's been perfectly happy without you around." Alexa took particular pleasure in the painful look that crossed Rose's face at her words.

Rose didn't know what to say to that. She just stood there feeling stronger from the anger, but weaker from the truth of things.

The Doctor really didn't seem to need her. He was happy here without her. His life wasn't in ruins without her. Sure, she'd heard that there were changes he had gone through, but he didn't seem any worse for it. He was the same old Doctor.

Alexa made Rose think about Adam. The guy hadn't been unkind, but he'd been deceitful and selfish. The Doctor wanted nothing to do with him from the start. He had instincts about such people.

Surely the Doctor's instincts hadn't failed him on this particular girl. It was blatantly obvious that she was rude, mean, and probably a lot of other things the Doctor would not want to be associated with. So, why was she here? Why hadn't the Doctor seen her for who she truly was and kicked her out of the TARDIS like he had done with Adam?

He'd even made Mickey prove himself worthy before inviting him along in the TARDIS. Rose couldn't imagine Alexa being capable of convincing the Doctor she was worthy of anything as incredible as traveling through time and space with him in the TARDIS.

Had she misjudged the Doctor's lack of changes after all? Was he missing essential elements of himself that weren't automatically obvious? Had he lost his ability to tell decent people from low ones like this Alexa?

Normally, Rose would try to be more compassionate, even if she was jealous. But she was protective of the Doctor even if he wasn't hers anymore. She couldn't see letting this girl take advantage of his kindness.

"The Doctor isn't going to let you stay." Rose finally spoke up, her voice unusually calm.

Alexa laughed and smiled as she continued to fuss with her clothing. "Excuse me, but _you're_ the intruder. He and I have been fine until you fell through the door. You're just a charity case. Once he's sure you won't keel over dead, he'll dump you right out that door and we'll be off again."

Rose cracked a smile. Alexa's own smile wavered. Seeing that smile on Rose's face unsettled her. She swallowed around a lump in her throat.

"Doesn't matter if I stay or go." Rose informed her. "You're still going."

She walked over to Alexa and stood before her, staring her down. Rose was trembling from weakened muscles, but she stood her ground. "You can be rude all you like. You can dress as attention-seeking as you like. You can kiss the Doctor, distract him, do what you want. Doesn't matter. Because in the end, he'll never let you stay." _I'll see to that_, Rose thought.

Even if the Doctor were somehow blinded to Alexa's manipulative nature, Rose would wake him up to it. Even if he hated her, she wouldn't leave without making sure someone like this girl couldn't use him. "Sooner or later, he leaves everybody. But you," She pointed directly at her. "He's going to leave sooner."

Alexa looked scared for a fraction of a second. Then her eyes narrowed. "Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?"

Rose shrugged. "It's just what's going to happen."

Alexa looked at this weak creature before her. Even though fighting without a weapon was hardly her style, she couldn't see someone in her condition really winning. Besides, the blonde had dared stand up to her which she found threatening. Her hand was suddenly striking roughly across Rose's cheek. It left a red streak as well as a cut from her sharp fingernails down the side.

Rose staggered back a pace, catching herself on a wall. Her knees were barely keeping her upright, but after all she had already lost, Alexa had picked the wrong girl on the wrong day to mess with. Watching her standing there all self-satisfied only made her angrier. _Stronger_.

She'd warned her.

She caught her breath and pushed herself off the wall, using it to throw herself at the other girl. She grabbed onto her and both tumbled to the floor, Rose atop of Alexa.

"How dare you! Get off of me!"

Alexa was in the midst of wrestling free while Rose attempted to smack her.

Rose raised a menacing hand.

"_Rose_!" The Doctor's sharp tone caused Rose to jerk. Alexa stopped all movements and chose this exact moment to lay still, looking as helpless as possible. It wasn't very convincing considering she was heavier than Rose and healthier.

Rose dragged herself off of Alexa and looked down, quickly making sure her blanket was still snuggly wrapped around her. It had loosened but luckily was still in place.

She kept her eyes glued to the floor, terrified of seeing a look of disapproval on the Time Lord's face.

"Sorry." She muttered. It seemed all the fire in her burned out in that instant.

Alexa's eyes filled with tears. "She...She attacked me! I-I offered to help her get cleaned up and changed and she said you would..." She let out a small sob for effect. "Throw me out of the TARDIS and abandon me and take her with you instead." She lay there still trying to look like some wounded creature in need of care.

The Doctor's usual swagger came into play as he moved across the floor and over to the two young ladies. He had bags in his hands. He set them down and went to kneel before Rose.

Alexa stared. "Doctor? She hurt me!" She whined.

The Doctor frowned. He reached out to Rose's downturned face and gently took her chin in his hand. He lifted her head and studied the cut across her cheek. His free hand lightly grazed across the injury. Rose flinched, but didn't pull away. The Doctor's eyes flashed with something Alexa didn't recognize, but Rose did. _Guilt_.

"You're not injured, Alexa. I know when your tears are real. Get up." He spoke coolly to her, but not as coldly as Rose would have liked.

Assuring himself that Rose was alright, the Doctor let go of her face and reached into one of the bags. He handed her some chips, fish fingers, and a protein drink he thought she could do with.

"Eat." It was more of a command than a request. Rose decided not to argue. Nor to explain exactly what had occurred between her and Alexa as he seemed well able to see the girl for what she was, after all.

Even knowing that, he still wanted her? Rose thought with a sick feeling in her heart. She ate a chip and started munching on one of the fish fingers as the Doctor got up and walked over to the console.

"Alexa, come here." He calmly spoke, both hands resting against the console.

Tears dried up as quickly as they appeared. The minute she realized they weren't working, in fact. She sighed, shot Rose an annoyed look, and got up to walk over to the Doctor.

"It's true, you know. She told me I wasn't going to be staying with you." That part was true and she looked at him, imploring him to believe. "You're going to throw me out, aren't you?" There was actual fear in her voice, although it was buried beneath her usual false pout.

The Doctor turned slowly to Alexa. The girl was a problem on more than one level.

"I'm not going to _throw_ you out." He sounded...Defeated. Rose stared up at the pair of them, listening closely.

"Really? So everything is okay?" Alexa flashed a bright smile again. The Doctor didn't return it.

"No, everything is not okay." He looked almost sad as he faced her. "I'd hoped the best for you, Alexa. Truly, I did." He didn't bother to add 'But you attacked Rose and ruined any second chances I may have been previously willing to give you.'

"Hoped?" She eyed him. What did he mean by that? "Look, I didn't do anything wrong. She attacked me first!" She protested. "You saw her, she was on top of me, holding me on the ground like some kind of animal!"

At the word animal, the Doctor reached out and took hold of Alexa by the shoulders. He dragged her over to the railing and pushed her against it. Not roughly, but firmly.

His eyes pinned her in place. His voice was low, but verging on threatening. "What did I tell you when I invited into my TARDIS?"

Rose saw that for the first time, Alexa looked genuinely scared. She wasn't used to the Doctor's aggression being directed at her. She sighed and looked off to the side, then back at him. "You said you were inviting me along, but that I shouldn't doubt that you know who and what I am. Whatever that means."

"It means, Alexa, that I've been watching you. I've seen you torment people for fun. I've watched you steal, lie, manipulate, not to help anyone, but yourself. I've seen you do this for pure amusement."

"So? Another lecture? Really, Doc, this is getting old." She tried to wiggle loose from his grip, but he wasn't having it.

Rose had polished off the chips, sipped the protein drink, and started in on the rest of the fish fingers, watching with wide eyes at the exchange happening before her. The warmth and the food was putting some color back into her cheeks and a light back into her eyes. But her pulse was racing at the Doctor having grabbed Alexa in that way. He'd never been so...Physical with people before. Not in a violent or aggressive way. Not very often anyway, unless he was backed into a corner.

She would never admit it, but it felt good to know he wasn't as enamored with Alexa as she previously thought. She silently lectured herself for having believed he would ever really fall for someone like her.

"I agree." The Doctor sounded disgusted. "You haven't changed. I know Rose, and I know you. She didn't start this, you did. Whatever else you may have done in the past, I'm willing to forgive, but not _that_." He pointed over at Rose's swollen, scratched cheek.

That Alexa dared lay a hand on Rose, infuriated him. He knew she wasn't trustworthy around things like money or telling the truth, but he hadn't expected her to resort to hurting Rose.

Sure, it was just a scratch, but Rose had clearly already been through hell. She was weak and hadn't the motivation to start anything with Alexa. Had Rose done anything to the other girl, the Doctor knew it had to have been provoked by his newest companion.

"It's just a scratch! Geez, I'm sorry, okay?" Alex's eyes rolled upwards and she tugged free finally of his grasp. He let go, but didn't move out of her space.

"Not okay. I told you to do no harm inside this ship. Not ever."

It was then that Alexa truly grasped that Rose meant more to the Doctor than she ever could have thought conceivable. He'd never been so adamant about enforcing any of his rules before now. And Alexa had done some things that were far worse than scratching someone's cheek in his presence!

She folded her arms across her chest and frowned. This was hardly fun. "You've changed." She accused. "Take me home then if you don't want me around." She dared him, in her best pouty voice.

Rose wondered what Alexa meant by saying the Doctor had changed. Changed how? He seemed like the same Doctor he ever was.

"You don't have a home." He reminded her.

"That's right, I don't. You're not going to throw a girl out into the cold." Alexa gave a small smile. "We've had a lot of fun adventures, you don't mind me that much do you?"

The Doctor didn't answer her. He looked over at Rose who was staring at him. "You okay?" He asked, not approaching her again.

She nodded and yawned.

"You need sleep."

"But I'm feeling better." Rose sat up straighter.

"From the food and warmth, yes, but your body still needs rest. Sleep."

Rose looked from him to Alexa and back. She shouldn't have doubted that he had the girl under control in one way or another. She felt an odd sense of contradicting feelings.

Confident in his abilities, yet useless herself to him. What good could she be? What more could she possibly offer him that he didn't already have? Had he ever really needed anyone? She used to think so. He'd said to be brave and find him. Hadn't she done that? What more did she possibly need to do?

"Rose." The Doctor prompted.

"It's fine, I'll go change and nap." Rose sounded nearly as defeated as the Doctor had moments ago. She struggled to her feet, clutching the blanket.

She felt stronger, but the Doctor was right. She needed rest to regain more of her strength. She moved sluggishly toward the stairs and clung to the railing to help boost herself upwards.

She glanced over her shoulder. Alexa didn't move and was just staring at the console with a frown. The Doctor, too, seemed to be staring at the console. Though he was quite alert to Rose's every move.

"When are you going to stop being so mad at me?" Alexa asked the moment Rose was out of earshot.

"I'm not angry with you. Not anymore." He sounded sad again, which only made Alexa worry.

"But you said everything isn't okay?"

"It's really not." He looked at her. "You never were meant to survive, Alexa. You shouldn't be here."

"But I _am_ here." She pointed out.

"Yes." He spoke softly now, turning back to fuss with a spinning dial. He could have done something. He thought about deliberately saving her from her fate. She wasn't a fixed point and the world wouldn't collapse into a paradox were he to do so. However, the damage she was capable of, didn't escape him. It wasn't changing. He'd been working on her for a while and he couldn't find the heart in her.

As much as it hurt, he knew what he would have to do. He had to seal her fate by allowing it to happen.

_Upstairs an exhausted Rose dragged herself into a warm shower. She'd managed to find some of her old clothes. Surprisingly, the Doctor had kept them around. She allowed herself to sink to the floor of the tub, just enjoying the feel of the hot water washing over her cold skin._

Alexa didn't know what the Doctor meant, and she didn't like it. She moved to sit back down in a chair, thinking things over.

That Rose brat had attacked her, all because she couldn't stand the competition. She considered a way to be rid of her once and for all, but everything she could think of, only lead to the Doctor's kicking her out of the TARDIS or worse in the end anyway. There was no way she could do anything to Rose right now and get away with it.

"Why is she so important to you anyway?"

The Doctor didn't look up. "What?"

"Rose. What is it about her?" Alexa sighed, sounding sad, but the Doctor knew better.

"Jealousy becomes no one, Alexa."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"No, it doesn't." The Doctor walked to Alexa and stood before her. She turned to look up at him questioningly. "But, then, I don't really owe you an explanation, do I."

Before Alexa could respond, the Doctor went on. "You know, what you said about us and fun adventures isn't true. I've never actually liked you, Alexa. You're not very nice, and you use people."

Alexa's eyes met his. "I only do what I know how to do. It's the way the world works."

"No, it's the way _your_ world works because you choose to work it that way. But it's not the way _the_ world works and it's not the way it has to be." There was a moment of silence as they stared each other down.

"Get up." He turned away from her after issuing the command.

Alexa hesitated. "Why?" She watched him stop, his back to her.

He rolled his shoulders back slowly before speaking. "I've watched you trick people out of money, jewelry, and even worse, affections." He turned a bit to glance back at her. "I've tried to show you the beauty and wonder that lay out there, but you miss it. I've laid the Universe at your feet, Alexa, and you've turned your back on it in favor of expensive shoes and hair ribbons. You're petty and refuse every offer I've given you to be better. The only reason I've allowed it is because I thought I could help you."

He turned fully now, facing her again. "But you know what? I can't. Seeing Rose again helped remind me that I need to see the bigger picture. And Alexa, you're _so_, _so_ small."

Alexa's eyes narrowed. "Hey, you're no angel, _Doctor_. Or do I need to remind you?" She accused knowingly. "And you're the one who invited me along!" She scrambled to her feet in annoyance and trekked across to stand before him with a glare. "You said we'd have adventures and fun and nothing more. You said nothing about changing me! You never even said anything like this until _she_ showed up!" She accused.

"You're right, I didn't." He started moving forward. Alexa found herself having to back up to prevent a collision. "But you've been using me."

There was no way the Doctor would be able to explain to Alexa that he'd tried to fix her and he had long since realized that wouldn't happen. But he'd not wanted to give her up for a couple of reasons, the main one being that giving her up would have meant being alone. Sure, he could have found someone else to tag along, but he didn't want to allow himself to get close to another. Not after what happened with Rose. Keeping Alexa around had made it easier to stay distant for just such a moment as this.

"I suppose, in the end, you could say I've been no better than you." He said with a cold smile.

"What do you mean?" Alexa felt herself bump into the wall next to the door.

"Well, I've been using you, too." His hand moved past her and she felt a sudden warmth across her side as the door swung inwards.

"Doctor?" Alexa sounded scared and unsure as she frowned up at him. "What are you doing?"

"It's warm and sunny out there, you see. We've moved. Just a bit, really. Enough so you won't freeze to death." He gestured toward the open door.

"But, you said you wouldn't throw me out! And…You used me?" If he wasn't mistaken, Alexa looked genuinely hurt. "How? _Why_? What's going on?"

"It was mutual. You used me, too, remember?" The Doctor stepped back. "I promised you adventures and fun and nothing more, you say? I've given you that. Adventures and fun and nothing more. It's time for you to go now."

"But-"

"Do I really _need _to throw you out?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Alexa stood stock still and stared at him. She thought she'd get to stay with him for a long time. She'd been with him a while so far. She hadn't expected this sudden turn of events. "Please, Doctor, _don't_? I don't have a home, you said so yourself! I have nowhere to go!"

"There are plenty of homeless people out there, Alexa. Besides, I don't have a home either. This isn't a home. You know how to take care of yourself. Go. Enjoy whatever time you have, because it _is_ limited."

"I...I don't-" Alexa truly regretted ever messing with Rose, and she resented that Rose ever showed up to begin with.

The Doctor spared her a dark look.

Experience had taught her that from the Doctor, looks like that could not be negotiated with.

"I thought you were my friend!" She said tearfully.

"And I thought you were mine." He retorted calmly. "Leave now. I won't ask again." He threatened.

"Wait until she finds out the truth about you!" Alexa spat the words out at him. But she couldn't let him see her being all pathetic and crying like that Rose girl. Instead, she quickly scurried out the door, slamming it heavily shut behind her.

The Doctor whirled around and went straight to the console, quickly maneuvering the TARDIS far away from the girl he couldn't save. He couldn't risk her around Rose.

He refused to feel guilty about it. Alexa had been broken long before he ever found her.

He had other things to feel guilty about though.

The Doctor was deep in thought when he heard a short scream and then a soft thump from upstairs.

"Rose?" He called loudly, rushing toward the stairs.

_There was no answer…_

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><p><strong>Up next chapter: Some hurtcomfort. Also, what secret is the Doctor hiding from Rose? **


	12. Damaging Rose

**Bear with me on the complicated bits here. Anything that is too confusing, feel free to ask me questions. **

**The first couple of italicized paragraphs are a mini-prelude of sorts. **

**Thank you for the encouraging feedback. You do help to give me incentive to push on even though I can be even slower than this, believe it or not! Yes, I'm loads behind time-wise when it comes to publishing new chapters. It's often my normal. Apparently. **

**Review please? :)**

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><p><em>The Doctor watched over the girl's fitful sleep with a formidable ache in his chest. He felt the dreadful pull of helplessness as he thought about how he had sunk to lower lows than ever before. Rose was already traumatized by whatever horrors she faced all of the time she'd been gone. She came back to the TARDIS surely expecting it was one of the safest places she could be. Now, the Doctor recognized far too late that it might have been the single most fatal place for her.<em>

_Rose was in grave danger. These particular monsters were so fierce, persistent, and unyielding, that even he was powerless against them. One false move on his part, and they might actually kill her. He could only stand by, watch, and wait while knowing full well he was the cause of it all..._

Shadows haunted Rose's sleep. Her mother, asking her in a distant voice just why she'd left her in the first place. Mickey sadly shaking his head, saying nothing. As if he knew all along it would come to this. The Doctor, in his Tenth form, reaching out to her with both hands, a panicked look on his face. The Eleventh Doctor looking on sadly. The words he spoke were familiar, but the urgency in his voice sounded more like herself than the Doctor. "Rose, Rose, you have to find me! Remember, you promised you'd find me!" His voice echoed as he disappeared, replaced with darkness enclosing around her, swallowing her up, and allowing her no escape.

She struck out. Her hands flailed in the air, reaching, grasping in a desperate attempt to sustain herself by holding on to anything solid. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Please, Doctor?! Please, come back!"

Her arms crashed into a soft, firm body leaning over her. Hands captured her wrists and steadied them. A soothing voice was speaking to her from far away. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here. You're safe now."

Rose's eyes popped open. She sat bolt upright, entangled in blankets. The Doctor, in his newest form, had to straighten up to keep her from smacking into him. He stood over her, her wrists still caught in his hands. They stared at one another.

"Rose?" His eyes swept over her appraisingly, but he said nothing more. There was something in the way he questioned her that confused her. There in the tone of his voice, as if he wasn't sure about something and wanted clarification.

Rose caught her breath, the images fading from her vision. "Doctor?"

"Yes?" He released her wrists and took a couple of steps back.

"Are you...Did I...What happened?" She touched her head, trying to recall just how she ended up in a bed. A bed on the TARDIS, from the looks of it, although the room wasn't familiar to her.

"You had a fright. I then brought you here so you could recover."

"A...A fright?" She remembered the nightmares. Prior to that, she remembered Alexa, the Doctor's new companion who left a lot to be desired. She remembered heading up to take a shower. She frowned. "I don't remember a fright? I took a shower, changed my clothes, and..."

"And...?" He prompted, his voice calm.

For some frustrating reason, the Doctor wasn't explaining anything to her. Rose frowned at him. She kicked off the blankets and swung her feet over the edge and to the floor.

She wasn't the sort to faint over anything at all, much less over something frightening. She couldn't remember ever fainting over 'a fright' in her whole life! She'd faced down monsters so terrifying they brought entire civilizations to their knees! So what the hell could have scared her bad enough to make her lose consciousness?

She lifted her eyes to his and tilted her head. She tried to read his eyes. They were soft, warm, calm, slightly somber, all the things not associated with frightening beings or events. So, whatever it had been, it hadn't been a surprise to the Doctor.

"I...I can't remember..." She admitted, leaning forward so her sock clad feet pressed into the floor. If she didn't know any better, she would have sworn she saw a quick flash of guilt evaporate as quickly as it appeared on the Doctor's face. But if it was there at all, now in it's place was a mild smile. "Doctor?" She questioned.

"You're tired, Rose. You've had a long day. Perhaps after some genuine sleep you might be better able to remember things."

"No, but, I've got something to tell you." Rose reminded him. And she wanted to know what had happened!

The Doctor gave a slight nod. "Yes, you do. I remember. But when we were in the console room before, you agreed to sleep first. You've only been asleep a short while."

Rose stared up at him. The nightmares weren't exactly appealing. She didn't want to return to them. "I'll sleep when you tell me what scared me so damn much?" She returned with a staunch stubbornness.

He sighed and rubbed both hands over his face. He slowly lowered them. Somehow he'd managed to get his tuxedo and hat fully back and into place. He didn't answer her right away.

"And where are your bow tie and tweed?"

The Doctor got a confused look at that. "My what?"

"Don't you usually wear a bow tie?" Rose questioned.

"Not recently." He looked at her oddly. "And never have in front of you..." There was another unasked question in his tone, but Rose had already figured this version of the Eleventh form of him was different than the first, or original version. So he probably hadn't gotten quite the same style and way about him as the original did.

"It doesn't matter." Rose shook it off, and found her shoes neatly side-by-side on the floor next to the bed. She started putting them on. "What happened to me, Doctor?"

"As I said, you had a fright."

"What sort of fright? Tell me!" She gave him her best,'I'm not dropping this.' look.

He met her gaze for a couple of minutes before he couldn't stand it a moment longer and dropped his eyes to the floor. "You saw something that...Didn't agree with your senses." His words came out softer and softer until Rose was nearly straining to hear them.

"Doctor...What do you have on the TARDIS that would scare me that bad?" Rose was worried about her own state of mind, but more so about the Doctor's.

"You."

"Me what?"

"I have you, Rose."

Rose finished pulling on her shoes. She left light indents in the bed as she used her hands to push herself up off of it and walk over to him. She reached over and took his hand in hers. "Doctor. Look at me."

He forced his guilt-ridden eyes back to hers.

"Of course you have me. You always have done. But what scared me so bad? Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can handle it." She felt she was handling a fragile person, and maybe she was. The Doctor was unbalanced, it seemed, from everything that had gone on.

"You. Rose, I have you. That's what frightened you."

She didn't understand. "What do you mean?" She dared the slightest of confused smiles. "Did you try to lock me up in a cage and keep me forever, or something?" She teased. Her smile slipped when she saw he wasn't smiling back.

The Doctor grasped her hand more firmly. "Come along." He commanded and turned, tugging her out of the room with him. She didn't need any prompting. She followed willingly. Curious and scared for him. Her body ached. The soles of her feet were scratched up and she felt exhausted, but far better than she had in months.

He lead her through corridors, and back around to near the bathroom she had been in before.

"Here." He stopped and pointed to a spot on the floor. "This is where it happened." He looked at her expectantly.

Rose looked at the spot, then at him. "I don't remember anything bad happening." She said, shaking her head.

"Something happened. You saw something, _did_ something. Don't think. Don't try to remember. Just _know_." He encouraged.

Rose kept hold of his hand, a frown forming across her lips. She looked down at the spot again. He was right. Trying to remember was useless. Forcing thoughts only brought her back to the shower, and then drying, and pulling on fresh clothes. Everything after that was a blank. So she stopped trying to think. She cleared her mind and allowed her instincts to take over. Before she knew what was happening, her feet were moving. She started walking down a nearby corridor, pulling the Doctor along with her.

"Something..." She struggled to grasp what it was that she had lost. "Something happened down here, yeah?" She glanced back at the Doctor who remained uncharacteristically quiet. She kept walking through various corridors until she came to a particular one. "It's...It's something down here, isn't it?" Again, no answer. She stepped forward, reassured by the Doctor's firm hand in hers. She moved towards a door and stopped several feet from it, staring at it. "There." She said, unsure what she even meant by that.

"Doctor, I think I remember this door, but why can't I remember anything else?"

He let go of her hand and stepped past her, to the door. He stared down at the locks on the door, a strange look on his face. "Memories can be a curious thing sometimes. I wouldn't worry about it."

"Doctor?" Rose's quiet concern was evident.

He turned slowly to face her. "She couldn't cope." He explained as if he were talking to himself, not her. He wasn't making any kind of sense to Rose anyway.

"She? She who, Doctor? Alexa?"

"Alexa's gone. She left." He turned back to the door. "I need to get this opened." He gave Rose a sideways glance. She didn't understand the meaning behind the look. "What you're asking about, is in this room. I'm going to open it, okay?"

It had a series of combination locks on it, the likes of which Rose had never seen in the TARDIS before. He never locked rooms up in this manner.

Rose nodded mutely.

The Doctor hesitated, his eyes on her a moment longer. Slowly his attention moved back to the locks. He started turning dials and pressing buttons with a complex code that he and the TARDIS must have only known. It took several minutes for him to type out the entire sequence of symbols, numbers, letters, and who knew what else. Finally, there was a click.

He slid the door open and peered in with a severely concerned look, but he didn't step inside. "You're going to need to face what is in this room." He told her, stepping back to allow her access.

Rose looked from the Doctor to the mysterious room. She took a deep breath, nodded, and walked inside. She took a few more steps. At first, she didn't see it. But there, in the corner, was a dimly lit area and something moving. "H-hello?" She glanced back toward the open door where the Doctor was waiting. She couldn't see him, but sensed he was still there. She turned back to the movement in the corner of the room. "Is someone here?" She stepped closer, and closer.

Never one to back away from a challenge, she crossed the room with more confidence after seeing a bit more movement, but hearing no response. She certainly wasn't going to let something scare her enough to make her faint, and not confront it. "You there, who or what are you?" She demanded, standing over it now. The light, she realized, was from an old dust covered bulb that swung above. She heard a rattling sound and could just make out a foot trapped in a thick chain.

Rose's heart stuck in her throat. She decided two things. One, the Doctor wouldn't send her in here with someone dangerous. And two, something was very, very wrong here.

"Are you alright?" She asked whom or whatever it was. It seemed to be a bare human leg. She knelt down before it. "Who are you?" She asked it, trying to see it's face, but only catching shadows.

The person whimpered and shuffled back against the wall as if wishing it could disappear into it.

Rose swallowed down her own fears and reached out toward it. She touched a shoulder, softened by some kind of fabric. At least it was clothed. "I'm not going to hurt you." She promised. "Do you need help?"

The bulb above danced as the TARDIS shook gently. The light flashed across the person's face. Rose was staring at herself. A blond haired girl with her face. Only the face staring back at her was much paler, her cheeks more sunken in, the hair wet and matted to her head. The eyes haunting. Rose shuddered. "What the hell?! Who are you and why do you have my face?!"

The other Rose jerked away and whimpered again, hiding her face in her hands.

"_Rose?_!" The Doctor's voice rose with an edge to it. "You're scaring her. Stop it! _Please_!"

"Doctor!" Rose got up and turned back toward the door. "Doctor?! What's going on here? This girl, she looks just like me! Who is she?" She demanded answers.

The Doctor reluctantly moved into the doorway. "Rose." He licked his lips nervously. His eyes moved from the shadow of the girl hidden in the corner, then back to the one standing and facing him. "Come here." He asked, the anxiety in his tone palpable.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on around here!"

The Doctor drew his fingertips together. "She's you."

"How is she me? I'm me! How can she be me? That can't be me from the past because I'd remember! And it can't be me from the future because you never found me, so who is she then, Doctor? Tell me what's going on?!" There was now definitely an accusation to her tone.

The Rose cowering in the dark, chained and cornered, buried her face into the wall and squeaked at the raise in voice level of the other Rose.

"A manifestation of the TARDIS. A live one." The Doctor's soft words came out.

"What do you mean? How is she here? Is she even real?" Rose was unnerved.

The Doctor immensely disliked this. It had to be handled so delicately. "I...The energy left over from when you looked into the heart of the TARDIS. You remember bits about that?"

She didn't remember completely becoming Bad Wolf, but there were enough images, ideas, and vague references that she was aware of that happening. "Yeah."

He continued. "Well, you took in the heart of the TARDIS, and she took in you. Fragments always get left behind in both directions. I took the fragments of the TARDIS from you. But the pieces of you the TARDIS took aren't something I could ever extract. So, I used that energy the TARDIS took from you, to try to find you. When all else failed, I was hopeful that enough of you had been left behind in the TARDIS to pull you out of whatever corner of the universe that had taken you, and bring you back to me." He paused.

She wished she could see his face more fully and clearly in this darkness and dancing shadows.

"It was stubborn, couldn't get a fix on you, it just wouldn't work. But it could create a manifestation of your persona. I asked for one...All I really wanted was a hologram...Perhaps a bit more. Normally a simple holographic image is a completely safe aspect of the TARDIS. She uses her circuitry to create images, nothing more. But...I worked it out so that things got intermingled and created...Life."

Rose turned to stare at the young woman hovering in the corner like some kind of an animal as the Doctor kept talking.

"The TARDIS used the mere image of you and mixed it with the energy she collected from you when you stared directly into the Time Vortex. I hadn't expected it to work like that...It had never happened before. That...Didn't work out too well as you've noticed. The manifestation is a living, thinking, feeling being. New, not quite human, yet you."

Rose quickly moved over to the Doctor and pushed on his chest. She narrowed her eyes up at him. "Are you telling me, after you couldn't find me, even using the TARDIS to try to locate me, you then made the TARDIS make up a fake me so you could pretend I was here?"

The accusations in her eyes caused the Doctor to grimace. "No. Well, yes, but no. It wasn't only to pretend. It was...To remind."

Rose's mind was racing. "Remind you of what? Me? Am I that easy to forget, Doctor?" She couldn't hide her hurt.

The bulb above flashed brighter, bathing the room briefly in light.

The Rose in the corner clawed at the wall and mumbled incoherently, as though something were there that only she could see. Chains bound her wrists and ankles. She was dressed in the same exact outfit as her counterpart! Except she looked far more ill, in more ways than one. She made a sound somewhere between a strangled cry and a full out sob, like she was being tortured by something.

The Doctor looked in the chained Rose's direction, startled. The anguish on his face made Rose want to comfort him even knowing what a sick thing he'd done.

"Are you-" He began softly, taking a hesitant step forward. The bulb dimmed again, the room once more a mixture of dull light and shadows.

The Doctor glanced at the Rose standing before him, and stopped moving. He drew in a sharp breath, and gazed down toward his hands. "Of course not. I could never forget you. But I wanted to run. To keep running. But if I kept a piece of you here as a reminder of what my true goal has been all this time, I could never stop looking for you. I could never run away." Considering his tendency to move forward and not want to look back, it wasn't too surprising that he'd needed something to keep him going forward with searching for her, but that didn't answer much.

"If that's true, then why did you stop coming around? Stop looking for me? And why did you chain her up in a cold, dark room all alone?!" Rose asked angrily, leaning a bit on the door frame because she truly was exhausted. This was taking even more out of her. The food and a nap had helped, but more emotional turmoil had not. The Doctor had done something she could only think of as immensely sickening.

"I didn't." The light from the corridor catching that soft, sad smile on the Doctor's face didn't help matters.

Before he could answer, there was a flash of blinding light, then Rose found herself standing directly outside of the room, the door once more locked and secured like no other. Rose turned to it and pulled and pushed. She banged on it. She turned and leaned back against it to glare fully at the Doctor. He, too, had been teleported directly out of the dark room. He looked to the door, worry creasing his brow.

"How do you mean you didn't? Look here, Doctor. She's locked up in there all alone and scared! Chained up like some sort of slave, and you've known all along and you've left her here! How could you do that?" She was more terrified than angry, if the truth were to be known. The idea that the Doctor could de-evolve into something that would not only play Frankenstein, but would also lock and chain her up, even something that just looked like her, was a disturbing one. Particularly after he, himself, had just admitted that the manifestation of her was a living being, whatever else it was.

"Rose." The Doctor's smile was completely gone but the sadness in his eyes remained as they moved back to hers. He turned and leaned his back against a wall beside the door, beside her. He leaned his head back on the wall, glancing upwards with a sigh. His hands tapped lightly on the sides of the wall. "I didn't. And I never stopped looking for you."

Rose turned and leaned her side on the door now, the dark circles under her eyes evidence of her exhausted state. She watched him a second, trying to choose her words carefully. She remembered back to his Ninth form and how he'd very nearly lost himself due to a single Dalek. She'd seen with her own eyes how quickly the Doctor could become someone dark, demented, dangerous. "Why is she chained up alone in a dark dungeon of a room, Doctor?!"

He didn't move. "Because. Someone got angry."

Rose didn't understand. "What? But that don't make sense!"

The Doctor's breath came in and out quietly a moment. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want her to know. "Once I knew the Rose created by the TARDIS was alive, I did a scan. I realized she wasn't the real Rose. But she hadn't." He pushed himself off the wall and turned his back to Rose. "She thought she was real, you see. But she couldn't leave the TARDIS and didn't understand why. I knew once she tried to leave, she would cease to exist. So I couldn't let her."

Rose couldn't remember feeling this physically ill over emotions since she learned of her mother's death. She covered her stomach with both hands and tried hard not to think her beloved Doctor could entrap her and force a sick, living version of her here, for his own insanely irrational reasons. So that he couldn't forget her. So that he could keep her forever. It was like some nightmare playing out in reality. Her own psychopath here to quietly destroy her faith in him.

She didn't trust her own voice. So she remained quiet, and he continued talking to fill the silence.

"I tried to engage her in activities. To keep her happy. But she grew depressed. Then frightened. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't allow her to leave, or why she was able to interact directly with the TARDIS' inner matrix. The only thing she needs to sustain her is staying inside the TARDIS. But that wasn't enough for her. I finally had to tell her the truth. That she isn't really real. She's a holographic echo made solid only by the will of the TARDIS alone."

Rose stared at the back of his head. How could he?

"After a while, she grew insane. She couldn't take it anymore. She started becoming more and more unstable. Angry at her situation. With me. And anyone else I allowed into the TARDIS. She would hide and try to manipulate them with the use of holograms. Then she learned how to control other aspects of the TARDIS as well. She started using those as weapons to lash out. I tried to talk to her. I tried to reason. It didn't work."

He silently recalled moments when Alexa knew someone else was lurking about and that it had something to do with the Doctor. She knew something dark was going on and that he kept it from her.

"But why is she in there? Why didn't you just let her step out of the TARDIS and disappear, Doctor?" It would have been a far less cruel fate for her, whatever she was.

"In a manner of speaking, she did this to herself." He ran a hand across his brow. "I couldn't allow her to step outside the TARDIS, Rose, because it would kill her. As I said, once she steps outside of the TARDIS, that will be the end of her. She will die."

Rose forced her feet forward. She placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head slightly to look at it. "She did what to herself?"

The Doctor ignored her question. "I tried, Rose...I really tried." Another quiet sigh from the Doctor before his voice lifted from a whisper to a normal, but subdued tone. "I wanted...She wouldn't, and couldn't stand learning she wasn't real. Even though she's alive. She couldn't handle it. After the anger, she grew more despondent. She started disappearing for longer periods of time until eventually I didn't see her very much at all. She would only come to me when she believed I was extremely upset. She started getting sickly. I believe from the agony of knowing the truth about her own existence. Even inside the TARDIS her life can only be sustained for so long because she was never a full being to begin with. And now with the original, real Rose back, there is little else to keep her here. She's panicking."

Rose felt tears prickle at her eyelids.

He felt Rose tugging at his shoulder and turned slowly to face her. She dropped her hand. His eyes were full of pain, confusion, and sorrow. Her own must have been a reflection of his, because she felt very much the same way.

Rose understood some of what the fake Rose must have felt. She could imagine finding out she was not real, that the people she thought were hers, including the Doctor, were never hers after all. That they belonged to someone else with her face. That coupled with being expected to fill a void for him and not being able to leave the TARDIS would have been enough to drive her mad, in time. How long had this fake Rose been alive? Had the Doctor really been able to fool himself for any length of time, with her?

"Why didn't you let her go?"

The Doctor grappled with that one. He slid his hands into his pockets and stared down at her. "How could I have let her go? How could I have allowed her to die? She's...Rose."

If it wasn't already astronomically clear to Rose before, it was now. The Doctor needed help. He needed her after all. He'd lost himself in a way that she never imagined possible.

It horrified her. He was allowing a living being to suffer immensely for his own emotional fulfillment. He was leaving fake Rose to die a million heartbreaking deaths inside, just so he could hold onto a part of Rose. To quench his own need to keep hope alive at finding her. In some sick way, perhaps even to ease his own guilt. He couldn't allow her to die, even though she was only half a person, if that, because it would be letting a piece of Rose die, in his mind.

That was only half the story to Rose.

Rose couldn't wrap her head around how incredibly screwed up things had become. How could she bring him back from this? Find him? This wasn't her Doctor.

She couldn't even get mad at him. The worst part was this entire thing was her very own fault.

"Oh Doctor." The quiet heartbreak in her voice burned into his hearts. He swallowed hard while trying to read her eyes. Her flat, open palm moved to his chest. She could feel his hearts beating rapidly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks.

Confused, the Doctor wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him in a fierce hug. "Don't you dare." He quietly threatened. "This isn't your doing. I wanted to hold onto you so badly that I couldn't...I just couldn't let you go. I may not have been the one to lock this door, but I may as well have. I've imprisoned you by wanting to keep you here."

Rose allowed this closeness until she could get her crying in check. Once she managed that, she pulled out of his grasp and laughed, tears still staining her cheeks. "You really think your something else, don't you?" She had finally realized something important.

The Doctor blinked at her. "Pardon me?"

"Doctor, you're right. You did try to hold onto me. I'm sure in your mind, this is all your fault. You think you've made me your prisoner. Or at least, that me, the fake me." She pointed toward the locked door. "But that's not it."

His scowl drew the lines in his face in even deeper as he tried to unravel what she was saying and make it make some kind of sense.

"She's me, yeah? Or at least a part of who I am?" He nodded at her question. "She can control parts of the TARDIS? That means she can manifest outside of her own prison, move about, make lights and heat and holograms. That's how she frightened me, isn't it?" Again, he nodded. "She makes doors, locks and unlocks them?" Another patient nod. "Then what makes you think you could ever keep her if she didn't _choose _to stay?"

The Doctor's face dropped into one of shock. The genius that he was, he'd never even considered this pure and simple logic. The being he knew as a partial Rose, did have a mind of her own. She knew how to create, lock and unlock any door in the TARDIS. There was nothing to stop her walking right out the front door of the TARDIS. Except her own will...

"But why stay? Unhappy and knowing the truth. Why stay at all?" The Doctor exclaimed, staring now at the locked door.

Rose didn't look surprised in the least. "Doctor." She lectured. "You know my biggest secret of all, and you can't think why any part of me, no matter how broken a part that may be, would be unwilling to walk away from you when you're begging it to stay?"

Wide eyed and opened mouthed, the Doctor looked from Rose to the door and back. It was hard to tell just what he might be thinking. "You're right. All this time I thought...But she's been waiting." He looked to the door again.

"Yeah she has. She's waiting for you to tell her it's okay to go."

The Doctor shook his head. "No."

"No?" Rose watched him cautiously. "How do you mean no?"

"I mean no. I'm not going to tell her it's okay to go. You're asking me to tell a piece of you to die and I just can't do that, Rose." He wasn't meeting her eyes again.

"So what are you going to do, Doctor? Have a tormented living part of me roaming about in the TARDIS for all of eternity?" Rose demanded, getting right in his personal space again. His eyes were looking off to the side. She reached up and took hold of his cheek, turning his head to force him to look at her. "Well? Is that what you've become, Doctor? A man who would let someone suffer when you have all the power in the world to end it?"

"You're asking me to give you permission to die." Once more his hauntingly quiet tone made her shiver.

"I'm asking you to let her go." Rose corrected. "Look at her. You said you didn't do this to her. That she's basically done this to herself. If she's doing this to herself, just think how much pain she must be in...Please, Doctor. You have to tell her it's OK. That you'll be OK without her. I'm here now. You don't need her. She doesn't have to keep on like this!" Rose pleaded with him, her tear-filled eyes looking into his imploringly.

"Rose." The Doctor leaned forward and cupped her head lightly between his hands. He pressed his lips firmly to her forehead. They lingered before he pulled back, still cupping her face. "She's not very accepting of her situation. She's not stable at all. She can even be...Dangerous." He whispered this last word.

Rose wasn't buying it. "But she's _me_. I know myself. She's not going to hurt you."

"It's not me I'm worried about." His hands slid from her face and his eyes drifted back to the door.

"What do you mean?" Rose followed his gaze, then looked back at him, confused.

He shook his head, still staring at the door. "I'm afraid she'll hurt you. She has never handled her situation very well and this seems to have pushed her well over the edge."

"I can handle myself, Doctor. " Rose felt annoyed that he didn't think she could handle some twisted version of her own self.

"She's already caused you damage." The Doctor's eyes fell back onto hers. "She isn't handling the reality of being confronted with a real, true version of herself. She wants to be the real one."

"Well, I'll just go in and tell her she's not and she'll have to get over it! She's part of me, after all, she can handle it." Rose marched back to the door and looked over at the Doctor who was watching her with a distressed gaze. "Well, go on then, open it!"

The look on the Doctor's face pained her, but she couldn't think why.

"Why don't you?" The Doctor requested softly. It sent more shivers down her spine.

"Doctor?" Rose's confused stare moved searchingly over his face. "How can I open it? It's got like a thousand combinations on it!"

The Doctor reached out and took hold of her hand. He squeezed it. Their eyes were locked. "Rose Tyler. Brilliant, beautiful, bold Rose. Don't you see? You're the one doing this."

"I don't understand. How do you mean that?" Rose's voice came out shaky.

"Remember what I've told you." He spoke cautiously. "You're both a part of Rose. You're both alive. But only one of you is truly the real Rose. The living, breathing girl who ran away with me and never looked back. The other is merely an echo with the power to manipulate some parts of the TARDIS' controls. An angry, frightened, and very alive echo." He looked at her meaningfully.

Rose's mouth was slightly open, her hand shaking in his. "But..." She looked back to the door. "She's...She's the echo, Doctor. Of course I'm real!" Her eyes swung back to his. The sorrow in them gutted her.

"I know you're frightened." The gentle caring tone in his voice wrenched at her heart. "I'm sorry I did this to you. I truly am. It was difficult enough for you to know the truth. Before, you could still pretend. I think we both did. But now you've seen her. She's real. She's here. You've hid from the truth as long as possible. You can't anymore. You know I'm ready to let you go and you're angry with me. But it's not her fault. You've done this to her. It's up to you to set Rose free."

Her eyes grew larger. She jerked her hand from his and stepped back, violently shaking her head. "No..." Disbelief washed over her. She covered her ears with her hands a moment before a scream arose from the locked room.

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><p><strong>Shockingly, I actually am already working on the next chapter. Fingers crossed I manage to get it up before I drive everybody insane. Besides The Doctor and Rose, I mean. <strong>


	13. Excess Misery

**This chapter is actually meant to be quite a bit longer, but rather than make you all wait too much more for me to complete it, I've split it up. **

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! I'm happy you all liked the plot twist. I have definitely been channeling my inner Moffat lately. **

**A special thanks and credit to: AkumakoRonso for coining the phrase 'TARDIS Rose' to help explain the difference between Rose and the manifestation created by the Doctor and the TARDIS. You are awesome! **

**Please review? :)**

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><p>Rose's diminished grip on reality was dangling perilously close to the edge of no return. Every moment counted. She sat with her knees tucked under her. Her hands slid down the coarse wall she was facing. Her broken nails dug into the peeling paint. She could no longer feel the cold, weighted metals anchoring her wrists and ankles to chains loosely embedded into the wall.<p>

Every image being fed to her felt real. She had nothing with which to separate the hallucinations from the real world around her. All previous awareness of her current surroundings were sparse at best. She was being occupied with tormenting images the TARDIS streamed directly into her mind courtesy of the Rose that the Doctor and the TARDIS had created.

_"She's not real. She's not real. She's not real!" Clutching her ears, the TARDIS Rose shook her head back and forth as she pressed herself against a wall across from the room where a moment ago Rose's scream had emanated. "I'm real! I'm real! Me!" Tears slid down her cheeks. _

Jackie Tyler stared down at a framed picture of her daughter. She traced her fingers over the edges of the delicate features of her lost child's face. Jackie looked like hell. Her hair hadn't been combed in days. It stuck out this way, and that, thrown up in a bun just to get it out of her way. She wore the same clothes she had on for two full days now. A frumpy brown housecoat and slippers. Her face was drawn. More wrinkles were around the dark circles under her eyes. She'd lost some weight. The woman who had slapped the Doctor, looked like the walking dead.

"Mum!" Rose's tears fell freely. "Mum, I'm right here! I'm safe, see?" She pleaded with the woman. She was across the room from her. Rose could smell the staleness in the air. She reached out and could place a hand on a wall, or it felt like the wall, in the doorway. She could see her mother as clearly as she could anything else. She just knew if she could make her feet move, she could go to her, hug her, tell her it was alright. There was just one problem. Her feet wouldn't move.

Jackie took in a ragged breath. She brought a handkerchief up to her mouth and coughed. To Rose's horror, when she dropped her hand to the armrest of the chair she was seated in, she could see that the handkerchief was spotted with blood.

_"She's very real and you're hurting her." The Doctor purposefully tempered his voice to a soft, even tone. " You're real, too. But you're not her." The Doctor's dark gaze didn't leave her. Not even to return to the door where he knew Rose was experiencing her own personal hell. Trying to unlock it would do no good with her living echo, TARDIS Rose, in this state of mind. _

"Mum, please! I'm right here! I can hear you, why can't you hear me?" Rose tried again to move within the vivid illusions. She knew it was pointless, but it didn't stop her trying. She'd been doing this for what felt like ages now. It was as if her feet weren't really there at all. Just a head with some arms and a torso. She felt like a ghost, watching, but unable to interact. Whether she opened her eyes in the darkened room, or closed them, it made no difference. What she saw, felt, heard, even smelled, remained fairly in tact.

She stared helplessly as her mother's face drained of color and the picture slipped from her grip. It dropped to the carpet. Jackie gasped, dragging in painful breaths.

"Mum! You've got to call for help! Call 999! Call the Doctor! Call me! Please?" She cried, unable to move any direction at all.

But her cries went unheard.

_"But I'm Rose! I'm real, Doctor!" TARDIS Rose's eyes fell to his, begging him, pleading with him to agree. To tell her this nightmare was nothing more than that. A simple nightmare._

_He approached her cautiously. "You're not. You're an echo. You're a Rose, but not _the _Rose. I'm sorry, but you know what I'm saying is true." TARDIS Rose drew in a shuddery breath as the Doctor now stood directly in front of her. He continued. "You sensed her presence in the TARDIS. You found her. Remember? Outside the bathroom, in the spot I took you to earlier." _

_TARDIS Rose's hands slowly dropped back down to her sides. She gazed dully at him. _

_The Doctor recalled his own terror at turning a corner just in time to see the two Roses on their knees, staring at each other with equal amounts of shock. He could easily tell them apart. TARDIS Rose was healthier in appearance, for one thing. He'd had just enough time to try to call out to them when Rose disappeared in a flash of light. By the time he ran over, TARDIS Rose had shimmered into an identical outfit and crumpled to the ground. He knew then that he had to tread carefully if he was to ever retrieve Rose safely. _

_He pushed the memories aside and went on. "Her memories bled into you through the TARDIS' psychic matrix because you're part of Rose and part of the TARDIS, too. You realized who she truly is and that terrified you, didn't it? It served to remind you that you're not her. You couldn't hold onto the illusion any longer and you found that unacceptable. That's when you used your ability to interact directly with the TARDIS to teleport Rose into that room because her being here scares you." His words came out unhurriedly in contrast to his acute sense of urgency. Rose was in danger. Every moment counted. "When someone is in a panic, locking something up that frightens them can feel sensible. I understand. But it's time we stop pretending. She needs you to let her out now." _

_TARDIS Rose shook her head in denial. A gentle hand landed on her upper arm. "But it's okay." He consoled her. " I'll make it all okay. I promise."_

Jackie's eyes suddenly widened. Her hand flew to her chest. She jumped to her feet. The handkerchief was forgotten and fluttered to the ground. She now grasped at her chest with both hands. She fell forward, landing hard on the floor. A crackling sound indicated the picture frame now lay broken beneath her. There was also no doubt the shards of glass were now cutting into her skin.

"MUM!" Rose screamed. She threw her hands forward, desperately, but they fell against some solid object she couldn't see. She blinked and for a brief moment, a familiar darkened wall with shadows dancing across it was directly in front of her. She blinked again, and the wall was gone, replaced once more with her mother's home.

_TARDIS Rose trembled. "But who am I, Doctor?" His soothing touch and calming voice allowed her to remember things. Joking and laughing with him, _after. _After she was created. After the memories of everything that Rose had experienced up to the point of looking into the heart of the TARDIS, became who she believed herself to be. After he continually coaxed her away from leaving the TARDIS. After he sat her down with that forlorn look of his and explained in heartbreaking detail, what he'd done and what she truly was. After she made herself forget. After she threw all memories back into the TARDIS, refusing to acknowledge truths that bit into the core of all she knew about herself, him, and life. _

_But then she felt Rose nearby. She confronted her. She sent her away and tried to forget again. It was all so draining. "You're telling me that I'm not who I feel I am. That I'm not how I feel, what I think, and remember! So who am I?" Her voice was rising along with her despair._

Jackie's body started twitching. Her limbs jerking, her mouth opening and closing like some kind of fish, her eyes rolling back into her head. It lasted an agonizingly long time until it subsided. She lay there, her congested breaths noisily pushing in and out of her lungs.

"Mum?" Rose whispered, no longer caring that it was no use. Her mother couldn't hear her.

"Rose...My Rose...Sweetheart, where...Are...You...?" Jackie's mournful question went unanswered. The rattling noise in her lungs abruptly stopped. Her body went completely still. She lay there, unmoving.

Other images had been plaguing Rose since she'd entered this nightmare.

The haunting ones of the people from this and possible other realities that had died because she made the choices she'd made. Ones where countless people ran uselessly from Daleks, Slitheens, Cybermen, and Sontarans only to be shot down before her eyes. Ones where her own friends and most of her family seemed to simply forget her. Ones where she watched individuals become heroes and die, sometimes in fruitless efforts to save others, all because the Doctor wasn't there to save them as he should have been. Because of her. Each bitter image dug into Rose and killed her heart a little more.

But not even being transported to see right before her eyes, innocent children cowering and fearful, crying and screaming, only to have their screams cut off by way of robotic creatures crushing their skulls, had destroyed Rose so utterly as this did.

It all hurt. Much of it made her cry out, and even scream. But it was the imagery of her mother's final moments that had her once more clawing at the walls in the darkened room. Blood seeped out from underneath her fingernails, dripping along the sides of her fingers and down the palms of her hands. She didn't feel it.

_"You're someone new." The Doctor stilled TARDIS Rose with the calming hand on her arm. He kept eye contact with her. "You've got her memories. You know her feelings and thoughts, her past. But you've got something all your own, Rose of the TARDIS. You've got access to power and understanding that she doesn't have. You've got some control over the most powerful ship in all of creation!" He reminded her with a bit of excitement in his voice. He failed to mention she had a lot more power over the TARDIS than that. Such a failure was very much on purpose. "You've also got some memories she hasn't. I've given you those, haven't I? All your own memories of us here in the TARDIS." He reminded her, a compassionate smile gracing his lips._

_TARDIS Rose's tears were stopping, she was listening calmly now, her breathing more even, her body more relaxed against the wall. She did have that and it was all hers, not that other Rose's. She focused on the distraught, yet ever hopeful, man before her._

_The Doctor was the one thing she could believe in. The one person she could trust to make everything okay again. She knew what she was. An echo. A creation. Something real and alive though. "But what does that mean for me? Who does that make me?"_

_"What do you want it to mean for you?" The Doctor's spare hand moved up to pat her hair. "You're alive. Life is all about choices. Who we choose to be. Who do you choose to be?" _

"Mum...Mum, please?!" Rose cried, shaking terribly as she stood there, watching her dead mother lay there. She'd never seen her so quiet and still in all her life. She'd died alone. In pain and not knowing what had become of her daughter. All alone and wanting Rose.

_This is what finally broke Rose Marion Tyler. _

_She started screaming again. This time, she didn't stop._

The Doctor's entire body spasmed at the sudden agonizing wailing coming from within the room. His hands fell away from TARDIS Rose and he dashed to the door. His frenzied hands scrambled to free the door of the complex coded locks that left Rose buried in an isolated torment.

TARDIS Rose only watched, eyes bloodshot, crossing one arm over the other. She wasn't her, but she was real. She was alive. The Doctor's questions spun round and round in her head. Who did she choose to be? The sort of girl who locked someone up and tortured them? No, that wasn't the sort of person she ever could be. It wasn't who she was ever meant to be. She wanted to be the sort of girl who had courage. Someone who leapt heart first. But there was something else.

The Doctor's voice quietly shook with emotion. "I need you to open this door!"

From within the room, Rose's tortured cries penetrated directly into the ancient mans' hearts.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. But I-I can't." TARDIS Rose mumbled, watching him with sorrowful, but determined eyes.

Working frantically at the door, The Doctor went through the series of combinations with rapid-fire succession. It would have been an impressive feat were it to have accomplished the task at hand. As soon as he completed it and heard a click, the locks returned with a fresh set of puzzles for him to work out.

Rose's screams grew louder and more unbearable.

"_Why_?" He demanded, his uneven voice becoming harder to control.

"Because," TARDIS Rose's eyes trailed to the floor. "She doesn't want me to."

The part of the Doctor's mind that howled at him to keep the calm logic that had brought them this far and question her further, was overridden by the screams of anguish coming from the locked room.

"No!" Screamed Rose, inconsolable at the loss of her mother. Her cries sounded so despairing, so needful that the Doctor knew he had to get to her and do something, _anything_, to ease her pain.

He lost control.

Eyes flashing, he spun and stormed over to TARDIS Rose. He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. She flinched. Each word was emphasized by shoving her against the wall. "Open!" _Thud_. "That!" _Thud_. "Door!" _Thud_.

TARDIS's Rose's eyes widened, she trembled in his grasp, staring at him in silent fear.

"You open that door _right now_!" The rage in his voice was too much. The girl before him began to glow white. She flickered in and out of his grip before vanishing completely.

His mistake struck him with absolute clarity. Animosity filled every pore in is body, each ounce of it dedicated exclusively to himself.

"_No_!" He struck the bare wall with his balled fists. He had been so close. Having kept his cool for this long, it was Rose's heartrending cries that drove him over the edge and made it impossible for him to stand back and patiently wait for TARDIS Rose to make her choices.

He believed he couldn't possibly have failed Rose more thoroughly were he to have chained her up with his very own hands and tossed her to the nearest Dalek. He drew back and kicked hard at the same wall, grunting with the effort.

He turned back to the loathsome door, his fists clenching and unclenching. His jaw tightened. He walked to it and slowly loosened a fist. He lifted and rested a palm on the door. The girl whose pain was radiating through the corridor with her screams, was pulling at his darkest emotions.

"Rose." He choked out her name, his eyes filling. "I'm sorry." His fingers stroked their way down the door as if he could somehow reach her through it. Bring her the comfort she desperately needed. End her pain. "I've failed you in the worst way imaginable and there is nothing I can do."

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><p><strong>I know this is pretty much where we left off in the last chapter, but as I said at the beginning, this was meant to be a longer chapter and I'm still working on it. I thought you all might like to get some of it now instead of waiting for all of it later. <strong>


	14. Choices

**A/N: The chapter ended up being far too long and instead of giving you eye strain I decided to break it up into separate chapters. All of which have been published at once, so there's that at least!**

**Thank you all for the encouragement and support!**

**Reviews are much appreciated. **

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><p>The Doctor felt the TARDIS softly vibrate. A gentle hum rolling over the door as if in sympathy.<p>

He eyed the door, his eyebrows drawing together. It couldn't have been the TARDIS herself. She hadn't seemed too keen on getting involved in this Rose dilemma after the creation of TARDIS Rose.

A moment later, a blissful sound reached his ears. That of a quiet click. He looked down. The locks were removed and the door could easily be slid open manually. He immediately threw his other hand to the door and shoved it open harder than necessary. It rattled and clattered into the wall, bouncing back out a bit. He ignored it and rushed through the opening into the still darkened room.

"Thank you." He whispered into the air, sure that TARDIS Rose was listening. He knew he'd hurt and scared her. He owed her this one. He didn't know if she'd opened the door for him, herself, or Rose, but it didn't matter. He was eternally grateful that she did.

Only once he'd stepped inside did he realize something that made him temporarily freeze. Apart from a repetitious thumping sound, the room was eerily quiet. Rose's screams had stopped.

He took determined steps forward. In the corner the light bulb above swung about, slowly growing brighter with each new step the Doctor took. His hands came together nervously, one twisting around the other. "Rose?" His pained whisper asked.

The Doctor caught sight of her and stopped cold. His breath became stuck in his throat threatening to suffocate him.

Her hand and arms were covered with a sticky, metallic substance as they clung to the wall. _Blood_. What he could see of her face was blank. White, wet with tears that were no longer falling, she was the picture of shock and grief. Her upper body rocked back and forth, her head banging roughly on the bloodied wall before her.

Her shoulders pushed back and forth against the air. It was as though the weight of mere air itself were a struggle for her to handle as she rocked her body in a motion that might have meant to be self-comforting. Now it was little more than a habit to remind her she was still breathing. She was unaware of the feeling of the wall against the front of her skull.

She could feel eyes on her. More specifically, _his_ eyes. Yet, she felt powerless to respond to him. Before her eyes images of her mother's body remained burning their way across her heart.

The impulse to ease her pain helped the Doctor close the distance between himself and Rose. He dropped to his knees behind her. His hands landed on each of her shoulders. Gently, but insistently, he pulled her head away from the wall, refusing to allow her to continue this self abuse.

"Rose? Look at me." He quietly commanded in a barely restrained voice. She didn't respond. He frowned and let go of her to pull out his sonic screwdriver. Apart from quiet breaths, she no longer moved. He looked her over. She was still chained. The green light of the sonic shone as he used it to release her ankles. The chains fell away. He reached around for her hands. She didn't protest. Away fell the chains from her bloodied wrists.

He moved an arm around her waist to turn her to face him. Her eyes stared unfixed, unseeing. The Doctor worked to deliberately keep his emotions in check, fearing that the deep ache and anger within would unleash and cause him to do more damage than he already had.

"You're hurt." He stated, with a thickness to his voice that he would have very much liked to do without. She didn't respond. He didn't expect her to.

Gathering his strength, the Doctor found it within himself to calmly pull out a handkerchief and wipe the blood from Rose's cold, trembling hands. His own weren't the most steady. They shook slightly while he did this.

"Rose, you've got to listen to me. You're in the TARDIS. You're safe and I'm here." He tried again, his voice smoother but tense. He knew it would take more than a handkerchief to wipe all of the blood away, but after he cleared her hands, he released them and lifted a hand to her face.

"She can't hear you. Well, she can, but she's not listening." The Doctor jerked and twisted his head to see TARDIS Rose standing a distance away in the room. The room itself was now brightly lit up by seemingly no other light sources, yet light was everywhere.

"What do you mean?" His hand remained resting on the side of Rose's chin and cheek.

"In her mind, she's seeing places and people that are just as real to her as we are. But it's more than that. She can hear you, she just doesn't want to listen is all and I'm not sure she should." TARDIS Rose looked calmer, as if she'd went away just long enough to collect herself. There were no tears, just a morose sort of calm about her now. She clasped one hand around her other upper arm and looked on at Rose and the Doctor with unreadable eyes.

The Doctor took a moment to reply. He didn't want to lose his anger at her again. It wouldn't do. No matter her own part in all of this, she only existed because of his selfishness. He couldn't blame her for any of it. He meant to apologize for hurting her so. Really he did. But somehow the words got lost on their way off his lips.

"Why wouldn't she want to listen? Why wouldn't _you_ want her to listen? She was screaming. Whatever images you are feeding into her brain are terrifying her! She should want to get away from them!" He looked from TARDIS Rose, to Rose, his hand falling away. She had started swaying again, back and forth, her mouth moving as if she were talking, but not a sound escaping her lips. Her eyes stared, but they weren't seeing him.

"Doctor, when I saw her, out in that corridor outside the bathroom, it's like...It's like everything that was in her head, jumped into mine." TARDIS Rose lightly rubbed her arm as she spoke, trying to comfort herself about the memories Rose had dumped into her mind. "I could see it all too. The things she's experienced, how she found you, her thoughts and feelings, and worse, the things she's done." This was said with such animosity that her voice shook.

The Doctor scowled as TARDIS Rose continued. "She deserves this for what she's done. She deserves to see the damage. That's what she told me, without saying anything. She wanted this."

"This is some sort of self induced punishment?" The Doctor eyed Rose. He reached out to tuck a piece of her stray blond hair behind an ear. "Rose, you've got to stop this. Whatever it is they've done to you, whoever did this, I'll make them pay, but you've got to come back to me now." He spoke softly, trying hard to appeal to her sense of reason. Was she even capable of reason and logic in the hellish mental world TARDIS Rose had sent her to?

"See that's the thing, Doctor." TARDIS Rose spoke up. She knew the Doctor, her Doctor, had been upset when he'd hit her against the wall. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but he'd been out of control with fear for Rose. She already forgave him that, and didn't expect she would ever get an apology. It hurt her deeply to admit it, but she wasn't his Rose. She was something different. She had Rose's memories, but her only true experiences had been right here in the TARDIS with this version of the Doctor and no other. "It's like you were saying before. Nobody did this to her. She did this to herself."

"No." The Doctor immediately and completely disagreed. "You're the one who put her in this room and filled her head with whatever torturous images you've given her. If she chooses to keep them, it's because others have hurt and confused her. They stole her from me and hurt her so much and now she's broken. Of course she's confused and thinks she deserves this." The Doctor's voice was full of emotion again, unable to contain the gut wrenching ache of believing Rose had been taken all that time ago, against her will. Blackmailed and threatened and forced to go away and be hurt until it damaged her so badly she believed herself deserving of such wicked punishments.

"I put her here because she frightened me. I gave her the images because she and I both agreed she deserves them." TARDIS Rose explained mildly. "I didn't make the choices she made. I never left the TARDIS. I can't. But she did, and her choices destroyed everything. It's her fault I'm suffering now. It's her fault she's suffering. It's her fault you're suffering. Living the pain she's caused others is one way to redemption."

"It's a way to_ madness_!" The Doctor snapped. He turned a sharp glare on her in spite of his best efforts not to take his rage out on her. "You're driving her mad, and she was already very traumatized before this. Stop this! Stop hurting her, can't you see you're not helping?!"

"But this is what we both wanted. Even if I agree to stop, it won't change her feelings on it, or my own, Doctor. She can't fix what she's done or live with it."

"What could she have done that would possibly be so terrible?!" The Doctor was at his limit. This was too far.

"That's for her to tell you when she's ready." It was part of her punishment.

"How can she ever be ready if you keep her in this state?!" The Doctor shouted, causing both Rose and TARDIS Rose to flinch away from him. He instantly regretted it, his face falling into a pained look.

"Rose..." He looked from Rose to TARDIS Rose. "Rose of the TARDIS." He began, a softly desperate and pleading tone to his words. "You've got to let her go now. She needs to decide for herself what to do. She has choices. Just as you do. This isn't a choice to be made, using the TARDIS as a weapon against her. You've no right to do this to her, even if she asked you to. Release her from this, and prove to me you're the girl I've always known you to be."

TARDIS Rose trembled slightly, her eyes glistening. She didn't want to disappoint the Doctor. Her Doctor. It mattered to her that a piece of him really was hers. She understood all too well he wasn't willing to destroy her even for the so-called 'real' Rose. He felt too guilty for that. They'd shared too many memories, however distorted those memories were, for him to kill off his Rose of the TARDIS. He may have belonged to that whimpering mess of a Rose on the floor, who had utterly screwed everything up so bad, but it was she who was there to pick up the pieces in the end and not Rose, the Doctor, not even the TARDIS herself, could take that from her.

He needed her now. She saw past his anger. The hatred that burned in him wasn't for her. She knew him too well to ever mistake that. She had an insight into him that even Rose had not yet gained.

He may have frightened her, but she understood it's origins lay within his own self-loathing and guilt. She couldn't allow him to continue suffering at Rose's expense. "I'm doing this for you. " She emphasized. "She may have been yours first, but you're mine now." TARDIS Rose spoke with a strange hollow sound to her voice as she began to encompass the heart of her own being. It started with a slow glow spreading over her body. She stepped toward them, aware that the Doctor was watching her every step. She knelt down beside him, ignoring him. She placed a hand on Rose's shoulder. A slight spark of light flew off of TARDIS Rose and surrounded Rose briefly before fading.

Rose fell back against the wall, breathing heavily, her hands going to either side of her head and clasping at it desperately while wincing.

TARDIS Rose stood up and stepped a few steps backwards, her glow disappeared again. "Letting her off the hook like this isn't any kind of justice for what she's done." The Doctor shot her a look before returning his attention back to Rose.

Rose was shaking now, clutching at her head. He bent to her and gently took hold of her wrists, tugging her hands away from her head. She looked at him, really seeing him for the first time since he'd entered the room.

"Doctor?" She sounded so completely lost that it broke his hearts.

"I'm here." His eyes were wet. It was the first thing she saw in those gentle, knowing and caring eyes.

"Doctor, I'm sorry."

"Rose." He released her wrists and moved to hug her, but she flinched away. Her body hugged the wall instead. She shook her head as she held a hand out in front of her, palm facing him to ward him off.

He stopped. He looked her over again, assessing the physical damage to her person. She wasn't injured seriously. Some bruises, scratches, and broken fingernails. The emotional injuries were the ones that were concerning to him.

Rose knew the Doctor didn't understand. She remembered brief flashes of the girl with her face, the other Rose, and the Doctor explaining about her being a manifestation of the TARDIS. It was very confusing, yet she knew instinctively about TARDIS Rose. They shared an undeniable connection. The flashes were something they shared, a form of communication that could almost be called telepathy if not for the shared DNA and help from the TARDIS that connected the identical girls' minds. Rose knew the horrors she was living were something she consented to in her heart.

It was her own fault, of course. That the TARDIS Rose existed at all. She'd brought the Doctor to this state. Caused him to create a fake version of her. Caused him such pain. Caused so many people so much pain.

"Doctor...Don't." She slowly lowered her hand. "You don't understand." How could she possibly explain to him what she'd done?

"So, are you gonna tell him or should I?" Both the Doctor and Rose looked up at TARDIS Rose. She stood with a taunting half-smile on her face. Jealousy was there, but she believed it wasn't as if she were sabotaging Rose. Rose had given plenty enough reasons on her own for her to work with.

"Tell me what?" The Doctor looked up at TARDIS Rose. He sensed there was a definite _thing_ here. Something had happened. The same something that had changed the world. He could see all of time and space and had seen it. Since Rose's disappearance he'd noticed the world was changed. He couldn't explain it. Didn't dare try to define it. But it was wrong. He'd placed a fair amount of certainty on it being her sacrificing herself for him to his enemies and his failure to find and rescue her. That was the cause, in his mind. Always had been. That Rose felt guilty wasn't surprising, but he hated for her to blame herself for something she was innocent of.

"Don't..." Rose murmured, rubbing at her sore fingers and thinking hard. She had to fix things. Usually it was the Doctor's duty to fix them, but he was wrong this time.

"Why not? You're not in a hurry to, but he's gotta know the truth. That his precious Rose just...Isn't." She folded her arms across her chest and stared Rose down. "Because if you don't tell him, I will, and if I do, it's not gonna make you look any better." TARDIS Rose did feel a little bad about what she was doing to Rose. But her counterpart had brought this on herself for what she'd done. She didn't feel hateful toward her, but resentment.

Rose lowered his hands and looked at the Doctor. "Doctor? Can I have a minute alone with...Myself?" She requested with a nod towards TARDIS Rose.

The Doctor quickly shook his head. "No. I'm not leaving you alone." He firmly confirmed. His hand moved to settle on Rose's shoulder. "Listen to me, Rose. I'm not going to lose you again. You've been through enough. Talk to me." He demanded pleadingly.

Rose gazed back at the man she felt so many deep emotions for. "I will. I'll talk to you. Really. But I just need a minute alone with her please. "

The Doctor looked from TARDIS Rose, back to Rose questioningly, but got to his feet with a reluctant nod. "If you're sure..." He glanced from one to the other again, and anxiously headed for the door. "But only a minute!" He added with a wag of his finger before stepping out of the room.

He gently slid the door into place, but didn't latch it. He moved to stand across from the room. He folded his arms and stared anxiously. He didn't want to leave Rose in this state. He needed to help her heal. He wouldn't let them be alone for long. They might very well end up destroying themselves or each other. He would never be able to forgive himself if that were to occur.


	15. Truths and Rage

Rose slowly and painfully got to her weakened feet by clinging to the wall as she did so. "You know what I want." She said blandly to TARDIS Rose. Rose wasn't fully consciously aware of just how she was connected to this other Rose. She just knew that she was. She could read her, understand her, know her feelings inside and out. She turned to look at TARDIS Rose.

TARDIS Rose peered at her. They connected. Flashes sparked their way through TARDIS Rose's mind. She shivered slightly at what she picked up from Rose. "Yeah, I do."

They stared at one another. She understood immediately why Rose had wanted to speak with her alone. To confirm that she would comply because they were heading into dangerously unknown territory now. "You really want to go through with it?" She asked, blinking at her.

"You know I do." Rose pulled away from the wall and straightened herself up determinedly. "I've thought about it since we met and I got those flashes from you. You can see the TARDIS so well. She talks to you. I didn't understand it at first, but I do now. I know what I need to do. It's the only way." She walked over to her mirror image and they stood face to face.

"Before the world altered, he told me I had to be brave for him. I guess it's time to be brave." She pulled in a long, strength-building breath and slowly released it. "You have to promise me."

TARDIS Rose was nervous. What Rose was proposing wasn't going to end well for either of them. But she thought about the Doctor. He was worth it. "I'll do it, I promise. But if I do, you know what _he'll_ do." She reminded her, pointing toward the door. The Doctor would never stand for it.

"I do." Rose nodded, glancing at the door. "He'll try to stop us." She looked back. "Which means we'll have to act fast."

"I'm fast enough, I've got the TARDIS' soul on my side, but what about you?" TARDIS Rose looked her up and down uncertainly. "You're still weak from your life out there and your trauma in here. If you're not quick enough, he'll stop you." She could see the haunted look in Rose's eyes and it frightened her. The girl was almost the equivalent of a walking corpse.

"I'll be quick enough. I have to be. For him. For mum. For everyone." Rose's grief shined through. She stared at TARDIS Rose. "Still can't believe he created you though."

"Oi, don't start with me." TARDIS Rose's eyes flashed and her body simmered into a glow.

Rose held up both hands. "Hey, I'm just saying." She shook her head and walked to the door. She took in a deep breath, pushed it open and spied the Doctor still standing across looking like a nervous puppy. She stepped over to him and stared up at him.

"Doctor."

"Rose."

"I've got something to tell you."

He looked her up and down, assuring himself she was in still in one piece. That calmed him down. His hands fell to his sides and he nodded, watching her. "I know." He waited.

TARDIS Rose watched them for a few seconds. She was able to separate herself now more fully from the newer images Rose had unwittingly given to her. She no longer felt of it quite as her, even knowing how much the two of them shared. "I know I'm gonna regret this." She mumbled, rolling her eyes upwards as she vanished in a brief flicker.

"I destroyed everything." Rose informed him with little emotion. "I changed the whole of time and space. I'm the cause of this. The reason you were alone and ended up creating her. Everything may seem normal to you, but things aren't supposed to be like this. The world isn't the way it was meant to be. People are gone that shouldn't be. You...You're supposed to have this friend, Rory, here with you now. Plus this blue headed man and a lot of others. And Amy and possibly her baby, I don't know." She shook her head. "But not this. Not that Alexa girl, or that TARDIS me."

Before she could continue, the Doctor spoke up calmly. "I know. Rose, I'm a Time Lord." He didn't say this condescendingly, but as a point in fact. "I can see it. I can see that the universe isn't what it should be. People aren't here that should be. People that shouldn't be here, are. I can feel it, see it, I've known it for some time now." He told her plainly. "The world is different, it's changed, it's wrong. You were taken from me when you shouldn't have been. Now, explain to me exactly how any of that is your fault?" He challenged with a lift of both eyebrows.

Rose forced herself to keep her eyes on his. He needed to know the truth. More importantly, he deserved to know. "You can see everything, but you're missing the most important thing of all."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"I wasn't taken from you. I left."

"You left because they made you leave." He supplied without a thought.

"No." She shook her head, and leaned in closer, looking up at his slight frown. "This invisible enemy you keep going on about..." She sighed. "Doctor, there was no enemy. There never was. The only enemy in all of this is me. I wasn't pressured, blackmailed, threatened or made to leave you. In fact, the one I left with insisted I not leave you, but I did." She confessed, only adding to the confusion of the man before her. So she continued.

"Remember that day I left?" He nodded. How could he ever forget? She went on. "You'd gone back to the TARDIS to get some CD or something. I was supposed to go to my mum's."

"But you never got there." The way his eyes glazed over, she could tell he was reliving it all. "I couldn't find you. I thought something had happened to you." He looked pained at the memory. "Then you were there, hurt, but alive." The confusion of that time was evident on his face even now. "But then you spoke, kissed me, and left. Vanished into thin air, quite literally, before my eyes. I couldn't find you..."

"Yes." Rose couldn't have felt more guilt-ridden. "Because I ran into someone on the way to my mum's. A man. A man named Rory. He was dressed as a roman soldier and I thought that..." She saw the frown on his face deepen, and waved off the details. "He had a friend. I met that friend. That friend was you."

The Doctor's confusion wasn't clearing up at this. He was brilliant and even he didn't understand what she was getting at. A man named Rory was his friend in another timeline that no longer existed. This much he comprehended. But what that had to do with anything, he did not. He did know himself to be at the center somewhere, of the change in the universe because he didn't remember it. Not how he should have done.

Rose tried again. "You were there. Not you, you, but the you that looks like this." She pointed to his body. "You, the Eleventh version of you, a future you, not the you that was with me then. You had this new body. I didn't know it was you at first and you tried to hide it, but I worked it out. Nobody could be that ridiculous and not be you." She pointed out mirthlessly.

Shocked, the Doctor peered down at Rose, trying to work through the puzzle of what could have happened. He knew the instant she mentioned meeting a future version of him, that he had been the cause of all of this, either way. He was mentally in this fully, but emotionally still trying to absorb the idea that Rose hadn't been stolen from him or forced. That she hadn't been kidnapped and tortured. At least not in the conventional sense of the word tortured.

"He...You, the future you, told me to leave when I entered his TARDIS. He didn't invite me. I invited myself. He tried to tell me. He tried to convince me to leave. He told me it was dangerous. He told me it was bad. He told me to go back to you, the past you, the you I knew...Know. But I didn't listen."

More tears were falling down Rose's face now, steadily. The Doctor was looking at her with shock and a disturbing amount of darkness sweeping over his features. "You...He even shoved me out the door for my own good. But I'd already found out that I wasn't with him in the future. I knew leaving you and going to him would mean I'd be in your future too, so I...That's when I left you and went to him. And that's when everything fell apart."

The Doctor's shock was still in place, but falling away from his face to be replaced, quite rapidly, with a rage that had been quietly simmering just beneath his surface. He swallowed hard, and moved his jaw as if needing to loosen it up just to form words. "You...Destroyed an entire timeline because you didn't want to be left behind?" His voice was so utterly quiet that there was no mistaking he was trying to control the turbulent fire raging under it.

Rose choked out a sob. "It-It wasn't just that. I swear! I didn't want you to be alone. You need me." She sounded pathetic even to her own ears.

"You said I had friends. People with me. I wasn't alone." The coldness in his eyes forced Rose to look away.

"I didn't think...I just...I needed..." What had she needed? Assurances that she could always be with him? That he needed her? She knew it was best to be as honest as possible with him, but there were a few details she would leave out. She couldn't bring herself to tell him anything that might make him possibly blame himself in the least little bit. Besides, she'd already come this far. It was too late to turn back now.

Her eyes went back to his. "You're right." She finally agreed. "I was selfish. I saw this happy new future you going off and having adventures without me, and I couldn't believe you didn't want me anymore." She cried like a lost child, but the Doctor appeared completely unmoved by her tears, and she certainly didn't want an ounce of comforting after all she had done. "I-I thought you might need me. That somehow I was important to you and I couldn't let myself think I wasn't anymore. That I could just be gone and you would still be happy." It hurt. Hurt to admit these things. Hurt to acknowledge them, but it was over now. There was no use in hiding the truth.

She purposefully avoided mentioning that she'd seen the future him with a great deal of pain in his eyes from the first moment she met him. That he really seemed to miss her and be sad just laying eyes on her. Seeing that pain hadn't been easy at all. She'd wanted to fix it for him. She'd tried to. But that felt too much like making excuses so she didn't share it. Not to mention it would only give him more reason to try to blame himself for what she did. She couldn't allow that. Even if it meant losing him forever.

He surely hated her now.

"How could you." The icy question was as painful to her as if he had punched her with a fist. Even more so.

"I'm sorry." She reached a hand out to his arm. "Doctor, I'm so sorry. Please, I-" He jerked away from her and slid around her to stand and face away.

She buried her face in her hands.

What hurt even more than his hatred was how she'd hurt him by doing this. How she'd destroyed his faith in her by her own selfish actions. "I never wanted this! I didn't want to hurt anyone! I didn't want to leave you. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want people to die! Mickey. My mum." This last one came out as a shuddering sob, wracking her entire body.

The Doctor's body visibly stiffened at this. He narrowed his eyes, clenching his fists and his glare pointed down the long corridor leading away from Rose. He could hear her mournful cries. The grief and pain within her so obviously the object of her own destruction.

Her mother, he hadn't known about. Had no knowledge of her death. He pictured what Rose had gone through, discovering her mother was dead, and Mickey and others in her life. To find everything changed including him and to find herself suddenly alone in the world knowing she, alone, had caused this, must have been extremely terrifying and traumatizing for her. It surely explained the state she was in when she'd fallen through the TARDIS door earlier.

It didn't change his feelings though.

He listened to her cry for a while longer. It stretched on until he swiveled around, swaggered over to her and snatched up her wrist. "Come with me." He started pulling her along the corridor, stomping his way through one to another. Rose had little choice but to come along.

"Doctor, wait!" She attempted half-heartedly to pull out of his tight grip, but he wasn't having it. He ignored her and dragged her behind him as he rushed through. Soon they were back in the console room and he was leading her toward the door.


	16. Complicated

"Doctor?" Rose asked, but didn't sound surprised. She expected worse than this, actually.

He pulled her over and stopped to face her once more. He released her wrist and looked at her.

"I trusted you." He was in her face now, looking rather menacing. She shook, but stood her ground. She deserved this, she thought firmly.

"Did you really think," He said slowly, his hand moving up quickly towards her face. She flinched, squeezing her eyes shut. Was he actually going to hit her? She wouldn't stop him if he did. "That I ever stopped?" His fingers were gliding across her upper cheeks, drying her eyes.

The sudden gentleness to his tone and touch made her eyes pop open. It was her turn to be completely confused. "But you hate me. How can you-"

"Rose." He looked sad now, rather than angry. "You've never been more wrong."

He moved his hand and allowed his curled fingers to trail slowly up and down the side of her face. "I'm angry with _myself_ for allowing this to happen. I cross my own timeline quite frequently. Early on I learned to memorize each and every of my moments. A future me would have known, without a doubt, that a past me was in that time and place with you. He knew going there might lead to running into you. He _knew_, yet he allowed it to happen."

"But you...He, warned me. Told me not to do it. Tried to stop me." Rose protested.

"Yes, and you didn't listen, I know, but also you didn't understand." The Doctor was under no illusions. Rose had made a mistake, yes, but she hadn't deserved the ultimate outcome. She didn't understand what messing with his timeline alone could do. She'd been enticed by him, too much so, to sit back and consider the possibilities before acting. He'd taught her that, too. To think fast, act, and worry later.

She didn't always listen to him. None of his companions ever did. He wouldn't have taken anyone with him that had a blind obedience. Blind obedience to him was even more dangerous than someone who rebelled against him at every turn.

"No, I should have known." Rose shook her head, along with his hand from her cheek. "I knew that crossing timelines was bad. I remember..."

"Your father, yes." He was not going to chastise her. The Doctor had seen enough of the pain in Rose to know the last thing she needed was to be told what she'd done was wrong. She'd gotten that lessen as painfully as was humanly possible. All he could do now was attempt to repair the damage.

"But Rose, you didn't know what could happen because that was back when you crossed your own timeline. This time you didn't, did you? I'd not told you what could happen if you tried to change certain points of time for me and me alone. I'm so intertwined in the history of Earth, and many other worlds, that only I know which points are safe and which aren't, to change. There was no way for you to have known." The Doctor had no doubt whatsoever that had he been able to take the time to explain to Rose the full potential consequences of her actions, she never would have gone through with it.

She couldn't argue with him. She hadn't thought it could be too horrible a thing to do at the time. She'd thought she was helping the Doctor, and herself, in the future, to be together. She'd gone against him on things before and they didn't always turn out bad. She still thought she should have known better. More than anything, the astonishing fact that he didn't hate her, kept her from arguing further with him.

It would have been easier were he to hate her and throw her out. This was getting even more difficult. This wasn't how she thought things would turn out at all. She looked from him to the door and back. "And you're not throwing me out?"

He gave her a grim smile. "Course not." She was no longer crying, he noted with some relief.

Rose abruptly threw her arms around the Doctor. She hugged him for all she was worth. He was surprised, but he arms wrapped around her, lightly holding her close. Her hair fell around his face and he rubbed her back in soothing motions.

"I'm...Sorry." The Doctor said softly. He wished he could have prevented her from all of this. He dared not think about all she must have been through.

The timelines were so altered that even time itself had been both sped up and slowed down by events. He doubted she was even in the proper time for herself. She looked too young, as if not enough time had passed. She was completely displaced, as was the whole of time and space. A very complicated problem even for the smartest man in the universe.

The obvious answer wasn't one he would even consider. He knew there had to be another way, he just needed time to find it.

In spite of it all, he smiled to himself as he held her. Rose. His astounding Rose. She may have made an utter mess of the whole of reality, but she was still as brilliant as ever. Besides, it gave him something interesting to do. Far more interesting than fighting alien ninjas with an apathetic Alexa.

"Me too." Rose said after a moment. She clung to him, closing her eyes and trying to remember this moment for all she was worth. Slowly, she released him and he allowed her to. He stepped back, smiling at her caringly.

She smiled for him. She was terrified, but needed to be strong for him. Brave for him. She would be, she vowed. "Why did you bring me down here if you weren't going to throw me out?" She asked.

"Oh that." He pointed toward the door with a goofy look on his face. "I just wanted to show you that not everything was wasted on this new reality. I invented a new desert. Sugar coated deli products. They're all the rage in Australia and Japan!" It was always amazing how he could go from pure fury to absolute fluff in an instant.

Rose made a face at this, but smiled in spite of herself. "That's...That's nice. And disgusting." She said with a quick laugh. She was feeling glad that he at least looked happy in these final moments. It did make what she needed to do all the harder, but having him feeling safe, warm, contented, was more important than her own tumultuous emotions.

TARDIS Rose silently materialized behind him. Rose spotted her.

"Doctor, before you show me the wonders of your new, um, food invention, would you mind giving me a bit to get myself cleaned up?" She requested politely. Her arms and shirt had blood stains on them and her mascara had run with all the tears, leaving black streaks down her cheeks. "I'll come back and get you when I'm ready. I won't be too long." She promised quickly.

The Doctor was still smiling brightly at her. "Take your time. Only don't. Not too long." He said, mostly because he didn't want her to be alone with her traumatic thoughts for too long.

"I won't." She said with another big smile all for him. "Listen, I'll be right back. Just gonna find the nearest shop, get a few things, use their restroom, and I'll be back." She told him. She hesitated, her heart hammering away in her chest. She glanced over his shoulder at TARDIS Rose who gave her the smallest of nods.

With a quick wave, Rose turned and hurried out the door. Rose closed it behind herself and leaned back on it. Her smile was gone. She wiped at her fresh tears angrily. She saw a few people passing by in this unfamiliar place, and giving her odd looks. She didn't care.

Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor had turned away from the door and stopped when he saw TARDIS Rose. She threw an uncertain smile at him. "Hi."

"Hello." He greeted her with equal parts uncertainty and awkwardness.

"So, when you're done showing her the wonders of new foods, what do you plan to do with her?" She asked, glancing at the TARDIS doors.

"How do you mean that?" He approached her, but passed her to fuss with the TARDIS controls, not really doing much.

"This alternate timeline. It's wrong. You planning on keeping it like this anyway?" She turned to observe his distracted movements.

"It'll have to be sorted." He replied, not looking up. "In time."

"Yeah." TARDIS Rose glanced over at the doors again. She knew what Rose expected of her. Distraction was part of it, but more importantly, making sure the Doctor wasn't alone.

She'd promised to distract him. She'd promised he wouldn't be alone. She didn't promise _how_ she would accomplish these things.

"Listen," She approached him and tugged his arm until he was facing her. She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him toward her. His face scrunched up in confusion. "I know you've got your Rose back now. I know you're happy with her. But I'm still here." She reminded him.

He just looked at her, not moving or speaking.

"We have a few minutes, just the two of us, until she returns. What should we do?" She questioned him with a flirtatious smile. She knew her time was nearing it's end. She wouldn't get a chance like this again. "Well, I guess it's now or never."

"Uh." He gently placed his hands on her arms and attempted to disentangle from her hold. "Rose...Of the TARDIS," He added quickly. "I don't-"

Her lips stopped him. She pressed in close, possessing his lips with a passion. He didn't try to stop her, really, because there was no sense in being rude, after all. He then went about flailing his arms rather helplessly as she kept a firm hold on him and explored his lips to her heart's content. His eyes went wide at her actions. He considered and dismissed the idea of shoving her away. Yes, too rude an action indeed. He could only wait it out at this point.

After collecting herself, Rose, unaware of the moves TARDIS Rose was making on the Doctor at this very moment, not that it would have changed anything for her, moved away from the TARDIS and in through the crowds, looking for the right way and place to do this.

She'd messed up big time. It was time for her to fix this. She had caused it whether the Doctor chose to acknowledge that fact or not. She was the only one who could fix it. She would give her life if it meant making things right again. She wouldn't do so happily, but it had to be done.

It had been a thought that she'd gotten from TARDIS Rose. Just a flickering thought that even TARDIS Rose hadn't expected her to think on, much less decide to use it of her own volition. Whatever the Doctor might do or not do, wouldn't change what needed to be done.

The TARDIS had always known. TARDIS Rose had known as well. And now Rose knew. In order to abort this timeline and return things to their proper place, Rose Tyler would have to die.


	17. The Death of Rose

**Please review? Thank you! :)**

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><p>Inside the TARDIS, a flushed Doctor could only gape openly at TARDIS Rose when she pulled back enough to gaze at him. "Always wanted to try that." She admitted to him with a devilish grin. "Much better than I imagined."<p>

"What...Why...How..." Completely flustered, he groaned and tugged himself free of her grasp. He yanked at the ends of his black coattails to straighten it and gave her a stern look.

"A girl has to take a chance sometimes." She shrugged, but didn't try to accost him again. He stood back as she trailed around the center console. He was a natural observer. It hadn't escaped him that this TARDIS creation kept glancing toward the doors of the TARDIS. At first he wondered if she might very well try to leave. But it was something else.

She was fidgeting and being spontaneous in new ways. Was her insecurity about Rose's being back the cause of it? He kept moving so that the console stayed between them, just in case she had further thoughts of stealing kisses.

"Afraid of me, Doctor?" She teased him.

"No. But! You just stay over there for now." He warned without any real threat to his tone.

She nodded compliantly. No use pushing her luck. She was happy she'd gotten that much from him in the end.

After he fussed with the console a few more moments, he moved and started for the door.

TARDIS Rose's eyes widened. She quickly vanished and materialized in his path, blocking his way to the door. "Where are you going?"

"To find Rose." He said as if it were the most obvious answer in the universe. Actually, it was.

"But she needs time to pick the right outfit and sort her makeup out, Doctor. Give her some time. She said she'd be back."

"Oh, I'm sure she won't mind company." The Doctor's anxious look at TARDIS Rose and back to the door said it all. He wanted to get away from her. He wouldn't have minded waiting for Rose, but having been kissed by TARDIS Rose and feeling completely uncomfortable with the situation, he wanted to get out, away from her. He thought that going clothes and makeup shopping with Rose would be a wiser choice than staying alone with her after that.

TARDIS Rose felt terrible. She was failing. She'd gone with her own impulses instead of distracting him some other way. Like pretending there was a problem with the TARDIS. That could have kept him busy for hours, if need be. And she didn't even need hours! Just a bit of time. But she hadn't even done this much right. Suddenly, she began to see that had she been in Rose's shoes instead of stuck here in the TARDIS, she probably would have ended up making the same foolish mistakes.

"But-"

The Doctor gently pushed TARDIS Rose out of his way and reached for the door. She grabbed at his arm desperately. "But you can't!" She cried out.

His head whipped around. He stared at her. She could feel his eyes trying to read hers, to suss out exactly what it was that was making her behave like this. She prayed he wouldn't work it out. "Why not?" He asked, not moving.

"She...She just needs...Time to..." She nervously stammered, trying to come up with some explanation other than the truth.

"Time to what?" The Doctor shook her off his arm. He eyed her suspiciously. Something was wrong and he now knew it.

"To fix...Her...Her hair." She told him lamely.

His eyes narrowed in on hers and she couldn't help but look away. "You're lying." He accused, turning fully to her. "What is it you're not telling me?" He demanded, quietly threatening.

Rose was wandering with determination in her step. Where was a tall building to jump off of when she needed one? The bustling town they'd landed in all seemed to have only one and two story buildings. Nothing high enough to kill a person.

Aborting a timeline took more work than she thought it would. To think, it hadn't been very long ago she actually wished for death to take her, and it nearly had. Now she was seeking it out even though she didn't want it at all.

She had no time to try to poison herself. There wasn't exactly a local gun shop, so that was out. Hanging herself would work, but she had no rope. She could think of only one lethal weapon that she would be most likely to get her hands on fast enough and accomplish her mission.

A nearby restaurant, maybe even the very one the Doctor had planned on taking her, did have a large kitchen. Kitchens were full of knives.

She found a back entrance and slipped in. She avoided the cooking staff and ran to grab up a large butcher's knife from a counter where it lay. She ran out with it as someone called after her, shouting.

"Stop, thief!"

She ignored them and ran down to the other end of the street.

People were looking at her. She looked like quite the sight, already dried blood on her, tear-streaked face, butcher knife in hand. She needed a solitary place to do this. She couldn't in front of all these people. She looked around and spied an empty looking office building. She hurried over. The doors were locked. She no longer cared. She didn't know how long TARDIS Rose could distract the Doctor. She started looking for a way in.

"Nothing. It's nothing." TARDIS Rose insisted to the Doctor, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Then why won't you tell me?" He reached out and took her shoulders when she didn't answer. "You're trying to distract me. Why?" He gave her a slight shake. Not enough to hurt her, but enough to tell her he meant business.

"She's just...Doing the only thing she _can_ do, Doctor. She can't feel right about any of this until she does. She has to fix it." She said quietly, staring at the floor.

The Doctor stared all of four seconds longer before understanding dawned. "Oh, no..." Eyes widening in horror, he released her. "But she can't!" He cried. "No! No, no, no, no, no!" He whirled around, flung the door open, and raced out of the TARDIS.

"But it's too late! Doctor, wait!" TARDIS Rose stared out after his disappearing form. She couldn't do anything about it now. Leaving would only hurry her own death along and the Doctor was already gone. "It's all over now..."

Rose found a fist sized rock by the walkway. She picked it up and tossed it into the glass of the door. The glass broke, shattering. Pieces of glass fell inside and outside of the door. She tried to stepped over them, hearing and feeling a few of them crunch under her shoes.

She looked around. Desks, chairs, a coffee maker. She moved through to a door that lead into a hallway. She switched on the hall light. No windows. It would be a safe place to do this. She laughed morbidly at such a thought. _Safe_. Nothing was safe anymore.

Closing the door behind her, she stepped towards the center of the office-lined hall. She faced away from where she'd entered. She drew the blade up with a shaky hand and studied it. It wasn't too dull at least. Would have made for a more painful experience if she'd had to stab herself multiple times to get the job done. She wanted this to be as painless as possible.

Rose thought about how to do it. She had to. There was no other way. She didn't like thinking about such violent acts, but there was no other way. The Doctor had to know this. He just was too impossibly kind to ever even suggest it, much less make her go through with it. It was all up to her.

She slowly grasped the handle of the butcher knife with both hands. She turned it around to face her stomach. There were plenty of vital organs in there. If she aimed right, and struck deep, there would be no turning back. Then again, if she missed, it could end with her severely injured, stuck alone in a hallway in an unfamiliar place, and unable to finish the job. Thinking better, she raised it up to her chest, just over her heart. Perfect.

He needed her. He needed to_ tell_ her. More importantly, he needed to save her.

As he ran, the Doctor scanned the small shops lining each side of the street, calculating the odds of each as a potential direction Rose might have taken. He could feel the adrenaline flowing through him as freely as blood. Rose was going to kill herself. He couldn't allow that to happen.

There was little time to spare. He didn't know where to find her. There was no sign of her. He kept running and looking about, hoping for some clue as to where she might have gone or what she could possibly be thinking doing something so stupid! Why did she have to go and do the right thing? It _wasn't_ right! There had to be another way if she would only give him time to come up with it!

He heard glass shattering in the distance. It was the only signal in this otherwise normal looking town, of anything being out of place. He sprinted towards the sound.

Rose knew she couldn't let herself think too hard about what she was about to do or she would lose her courage. It was simply something she had to do. She'd faced death plenty of times with the Doctor, quite bravely. She couldn't stop now.

She moved the knife out away from herself and closed her eyes. It was time.

The Doctor stared down at the shards of various sizes of glass and the rock that lay just inside the broken office building's door. "Rose?" He called nervously, stepping through the broken door. He looked around and spotted the only other door in the room. Likely leading to the executive offices and bathrooms. What was she doing? Why was she here? It couldn't be a good thing. He hurried over to the door.

Rose held her breath and thrust the blade toward her chest with all her might.

The Doctor flung the door open in time to see Rose's body slumping to the floor. "Rose?!" He shouted. "_No_!" He hurled himself in her direction, dropping to the floor like a stone before her. "Rose, please...No!" He lifted her gently and turned her onto her back. The knife protruded from her chest. It was deeply embedded into her chest, directly where her heart was. She hadn't missed, after all.

"No..." The Doctor pulled Rose's upper body onto his lap. "Rose, please...You _can't_! Don't leave me." He whispered achingly. His tears spilled over and fell upon her pale face. The knife was too deep. If he tried to remove it, it would only cause more damage. He felt an extremely faint pulse at her neck, but there was nothing he could do. She was going to die.

Rose had felt the sharp plunge of the blade, and then blacked out. The next thing she knew, she felt something wet falling on her cheeks from above. She heard a voice. The voice sounded scared. It was pleading. Saying things, but she couldn't make them out. "Wha...What's happening?" She breathed weakly. She was barely able to force her eyes open and meet the fuzzy gaze of the man hovering over her. She couldn't feel his arm around her, holding her onto his lap. She did feel the soft fingers trickling through her hair.

"D-Doctor?" She questioned, completely confused. What was happening? What had she done? Then it flooded back to her and the pain only worsened. She grunted and jerked.

"Keep still." The Doctor spoke quietly, trying to keep his words calm. He wasn't calm at all. He was losing Rose all over again, and this time to death. "It's okay, you'll be fine." He assured her with possibly one of his biggest lies ever. "Just a scratch."

Rose could see his face more clearly now. He was crying. He was trying to smile for her, but she could see the immense pain in his eyes. It was there because of her. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I just wanted to-" She was wracked by a coughing fit.

The Doctor did his best to keep her body still during the fit so that it would be less pain for her. "I know. You were very brave, Rose Tyler." He reassured her.

She had questions. Would the world go back to the way it was before? Would it be different? Had she really been all that brave? Would she be back in the world or dead forever? But she was too weak to ask. Instead she gazed up at him longingly after her second coughing fit ended. Her lungs were filling with fluids and her organs were shutting down. What was left of her heart was struggling to keep her body functioning and it was failing.**  
><strong>

"Doctor-" She managed to get out before even weaker coughs tried to escape her. She could hardly hear and she now only had tunnel vision. That vision was full of the saddest, sweetest face she would ever know. She stared up at him until her vision blackened and nothingness set in.

"Rose..." He meant to go on. To tell her the things he never dared before, but her pulse had stopped. Her breathing ended.

Rose was dead.


End file.
